One Thousand Nights
by Ajax the Great
Summary: Overwhelmed by the Kyuubi's malicious chakra in Nami no Kuni, Naruto slaughters indiscriminately. Sakura's blood isn't even dry under his fingernails when the council pressures the Sandaime to dispose of their unstable jinchuuriki. Shimura Danzo offers a different solution, for the price of one Uchiha Sasuke. AU - Co-authored with The King in White.
1. First Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and neither of us make any profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title - A great big fuckin to do**

 _Contributing Authors: The King in White, Ajax the Great_

 **(AN - Ajax):** Hey everyone. I've spent a long time reading a wide array of Fanfiction before motivating myself to produce some content of my own, and now I'm happy to be collaborating with The King in White. This is dedicated to all those poor readers out there that are ready to 'scoop their eyes out with rusty spoons' (as White put it) when reading yaoi, mpreg, or any of those obviously delicious and well thought-out masterpieces. Aiming for a realistic, character-driven story, along the lines of what I myself would love to see more of in fanfiction.

* * *

"Why? Why did you save me?"

"I don't know. My body just moved on its own, idiot."

Sasuke collapsed backwards, tired muscles giving out as Haku's senbon took their toll. Everything in his vision was spinning together, melding into an uncertain blur of colour. Then there was warmth at his back, preventing the Uchiha from hitting the tiles of the bridge and a strained voice hollering in his ear.

"Sasuke!"

Cradling his wounded teammate closer, Naruto watched in a mixture of panic and disbelief as his rival's dark eyes glazed over. Blood was trickling from the corner of the Uchiha's mouth as the boy struggled to form words.

"That man… until I defeated my brother, I absolutely refused to die… That's what I decided, but…" Sasuke's vision cleared past the fog of memory and confusion for a silent beat, and he reached up to seize his teammate's tattered orange jumpsuit with a trembling hand. " _You_. Don't die."

Then Sasuke's arm dropped away, and with a final gasping breath the Uchiha's chest went still.

There was an odd hot burn in Naruto's eyes, the world glimmering beneath a veil of water and salt before warmth started to trickle down his whiskered cheeks. He was _crying?_ Numb reality began to sink into the blonde boy as his lungs started to shudder. Drawing Sasuke's body to his chest with with silent sob, Naruto almost missed Haku's sorrow-tinged words.

"He - to protect somewhere dear to him, he would knowingly plunge right into a trap." Haku murmured softly, straightening to stare down at the orange-clad genin through the slits of his mask. "He was a shinobi worthy of respect."

Sighing, Zabuza's apprentice sunk back into the ice mirror's conjured up by the Yuki clan's kekkei genkai. "Is this your first time witnessing a friend die? This is the way of shinobi."

"Shut up." Naruto spat, voice thick with tears and rage. Delicately laying the dead body of his teammate down, the Uzumaki began to pluck out the ice senbon with uncharacteristically gentle hands. "Even though I hated you too, you still…"

Steam began to billow out around Naruto, wreathing the boy in waving tendrils of vapor that vanished into the surrounding air. "I won't forgive you!" he swore, voice turning dark and guttural as the red, bubbling mist began to spiral malevolently.

"This bridge is where our dreams are tied together. The place where we fight. Me, for my dreams. You, to avenge the loss of yours. Please don't resent me." Haku somberly looked on at the Konohagakure genin, but was taken aback when a sudden burst of energy emerged in front of him.

Bright crimson chakra blazed into existence, spiralling up and out with malicious, heavy presence. Seething rage began to rush in the blond's veins, beating thick and swiftly. Hunching over, Naruto's hands dropped to the ground, mouth twisted in a wordless scream of pain and anger.

The concrete surface of the bridge was gouged out as his nails lengthened and sharpened into claws. Snarling unintelligibly, his lips were bloodied by elongated canines. Naruto dug thick furrows in the stone before pulling his hands away and glaring hatefully towards Zabuza's silently watching apprentice.

A howl of agony and fury ripped itself from the bestial form tensed on all fours, letting loose a pulse of killing intent that hung as a physical presence in the air above the bridge.

* * *

Haku's mouth dropped open in amazement as he witnessed the boy's transformation, shock hidden behind the mask of a Kiri oinin.

 _What phenomenal chakra._

Hair sticking up haphazardly with deep black lines branded into his face, the boy looked like one possessed. Naruto rushed animalistically over to one of the ice mirrors arranged in the air, and raised a clawed hand behind his head with deadly intent.

"I've already told you, these mirrors aren't made of normal ice. You can't think to break them with-"

The devastating force brought to bear by the jinchuuriki's clawed fist shattered the frozen construct, as well as every mirror in the vicinity, stopping the speech short. Eyes smoldering with hate, the boy seethed at Haku, projecting his rage into the air.

"If possible, I don't want to have to kill you, nor do I want you to have to kill me." Haku warned, drawing up a handful of senbon. "However, if you come at me, I will kill my heart with a blade and become a true shinobi."

With a roar that seemed impossible for such a small figure to emit, Naruto closed the gap between himself and his opponent with a speed that the fake Hunter Nin could barely trace, silencing the Kirigakure rebel's speech with blistering momentum.

The kyuubi's jinchuuriki was beyond the point of reasoning.

A hastily formed hand-seal substituted Haku with a large piece of ice left on the bridge, barely managing to avoid the fate of the shattered mirrors. Rapidly forming more signs, Haku gathered a large amount of water and froze it on the surface of the bridge, creating a glistening sheet of hoarfrost.

Batting off savage, uncontrolled swipes with frantic creations of ice, Haku began to lose momentum in the face of the Konohagakure genin's onslaught. Losing ground quickly, the false oinin was granted a momentary reprieve when the blond suddenly stopped his brutal assault and dropped to the ground in pain.

Haku proceeded to create more mirrors about the area as Naruto watched with wild eyes, shoulders heaving rapidly as he shook with anger and anticipation, momentarily incapacitated by the incredible torture of bringing the power within himself to bear.

As water vapour continued to condense, the false oinin narrowed his eyes behind his mask. He wouldn't be able to survive a direct hit from the monster in front of him - but perhaps a distraction...

Icy needles bombarded the blond, forcing him to raise both arms in front of his face with an unearthly scream. Chakra the colour of blood bubbled around his form, beginning to repel the deadly hail of with ease.

The barrage of ice continued, relentless in its attack, though the frothing crimson energy swirled madly around the boy's form, completely nullifying any damage the needles would have caused.

What _was_ this?

Haku panted from exhaustion as a deep rumble emanated from his opponent's location, and the air crackled with killing intent. Shaking violently, Haku fell to a knee, unable to stand straight under the malevolent pressure.

The alien chakra continued to churn around the boy, until it began to take a rudimentary shape, rising behind the blond.

 _Was that a... tail?_

The ghostly appendage began to flick back and forth like that of a rabid dog, matching Naruto's bestial features. The blond tensed on all fours, bounding forward at an incredible pace, chewing the ground beneath him into concrete pulp.

Unable to move, Haku closed his eyes as the blond jinchuuriki closed the distance between the two of them, his eyes burning with ravenous anger.

 _I apologize, Zabuza-sama. In the end, it looks like I was just a useless tool, incapable of even defending myself, let alone you. I am-_

Both Haku's thoughts and Naruto's barreling rush were interrupted as a girl's shrill voice cried out, "Sasuke! Naruto! Where are you?".

The crushing pressure of Naruto's aura was slightly lifted in the moment of his distraction, allowing Haku the moment to subtly slip away into the mist and head towards distant sounds of clashing metal.

After snapping his gaze back to where he had last seen the Hyoton user, Naruto bellowed in rage when he found nothing there. Snarling viciously, the blond sped towards the location of the voice he had heard.

* * *

"Are they going to be alright, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked frantically, having felt a malevolent surge of energy in their direction.

Kakashi gritted his teeth, unable to spare a word while he concentrated on tracking Momochi Zabuza in the thick mist.

"Sasuke! Naruto! Where are you?" Sakura called out in desperation.

"You can't go after those two boys, or I'll slaughter the girl and old man right here, _Sharingan no Kakashi."_ The Demon of the Hidden Mist's voice reverberated from all directions, Zabuza's location masked by the silent killing technique.

The Kirigakure renegade appeared immediately after, his absurdly long blade glancing Kakashi's shoulder, while the Copy Ninja returned the favor with a deep cut to his enemy's side.

 _Perfect. Now that he's bleeding, I can track his position in the mist._

Kakashi hurriedly rolled out a scroll from one of his many pockets, biting his thumb and wiping the blood on the paper. "Kuchiyose: Doton: Tsuiga no Jutsu!"

Summoned ninken burrowed into the earth, searching for the swordsman and prepared to bind him in place for Kakashi.

"Sakura," Kakashi whispered. "Stay here and protect the bridge-builder, I'm going to finish Zabuza. I'll help Naruto and Sasuke once I'm done, don't panic."

Sakura nodded with wide eyes, and watched her sensei disappear into the mist, suddenly feeling very alone. Tazuna didn't appear much more confident than she felt, his head nervously swiveling around his shoulders.

Kakashi advanced towards what he perceived to be Zabuza's position in the mist, ignoring his foe's passing taunts. The copy-nin readed a brace of kunai on his right leg, fingers twitching in anticipation as he noted reverberating laughter from the mist around him.

So much for being a 'silent killer'.

Kakashi stalked forwards with the practiced grace, and leaned forwards for a final sniff of the air around him. Zabuza was close - dangerously so.

Immediately after unleashing a volley of steel to his right, Kakashi barely ducked under a savage swing of the Kubikiribocho, nearly losing a few fledgling hairs on his chin to the monstrous blade.

Missing a low sweep to his opponent's legs, Kakashi pushed off of his forearms into the arc of a brutal axe-kick, taking Zabuza in the side with a crunch.

The Kirigakure no Kijin retreated into concealment with a curse, breathing heavily as he held a hand to his side with fury contorting his face, hidden under interwoven bandages.

Sharingan no Kakashi wasted no time in lunging forward into a predatory prowl, intent on tracking - and eliminating - one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist.

"You know nothing about me, Hatake Kakashi…" Zabuza spat in the masked ninja's direction. "Your vaunted eye doesn't see everything. Don't presume to judge that which you don't understand!"

Not deigning to respond verbally, the son of the Kuroi Kiba loosed a hail of shuriken in the direction he perceived the voice, and was rewarded with a grunt of pain.

He suppressed the urge to simply rush into melee combat heedlessly, as a wounded animal was still more than dangerous. There existed a safer solution.

Kakashi pressed two fingers to the center of his lips and released a shrill whistle, his sharingan whirling madly as it struggled with the visually confusing mist.

When the Copy Nin took in the sounds of his ninken emerging from the ground, he rushed forwards to where Zabuza was locked in place by a pack of snarling dogs.

The mist around them slowly dissipated as the Kirigakure nuke-nin was unable to maintain concentration for the technique.

"Momochi Zabuza," Kakashi drawled. "When you fled Kirigakure after your failed coup, word reached Konoha swiftly. Whatever your motivation - I cannot let you hurt the bridge-builder."

Electricity arced down Kakashi's outstretched hand, darting around with volatile energy. As it engulfed his forearm, the air was filled with the acrid smell of ozone.

Before stepping forward to deliver a fatal strike through his opponent's heart, the sound of exaggerated clapping caused drew Kakashi's attention. Glancing to the side, a small man with an expensive suit and cane gleefully snickered at the situation, followed by an army of thugs.

"How delightful, and pathetic," the man sneered, leering at the two shinobi.

"What are you doing here, Gato?" Zabuza snarled, still immobilized by Kakashi's canine summons, steeled against the prospect of imminent death.

"Well, I obviously never intended to pay you at all. This situation works out nicely, as I can collect the bounties on both your head - for you, Zabuza, and that of the infamous Copy Ninja as well." The short man sneered, contorting his face to look like a sewer rat. "I couldn't have asked for better circumstances, both of you battered and bruised as you are!"

The horde of mercenaries behind Gato fingered their weapons eagerly, beginning to advance on the two ninja, before they felt a heavy pressure come down on them from behind the pink-haired girl and the bridge builder.

 _Naruto_ , Kakashi remembered worriedly, sensing the Kyuubi's chakra surging through the boy.

"What are you waiting for you fools?" Gato bellowed at his ragtag army of common criminals. "Slaughter them!"

Overcoming their nervousness, clumsily held swords and axes were raised above their heads, thousands of fingers tightening in anticipation. Gato's henchmen pressed on towards the shinobi, roaring as they charged.

"Kakashi, my fight is no longer with you," Zabuza muttered darkly, eyes dancing with hatred. "Please, let me kill Gato."

Kakashi paused for a moment before nodding wordlessly. The silver-haired shinobi released his ninken with a quick hand sign, freeing the zanbatou wielder. As the two ninja prepared to retaliate against the mob of ronin and bandits, an red blur landed on the concrete behind them. Eyes flickering backwards, Kakashi and Zabuza circled slightly to face both incoming dangers.

Sakura shrieked and held a kunai out to her teammate's snarling, bestial form, barely able to lift her arms to defend herself under the horrifying weight of his presence.

Staring at the threat of steel in front of him, Naruto slammed into the form of his female comrade with an alien scream, spraying chunks of red on the ground in front of her.

Naruto proceeded to slash at Tazuna's neck in an instant, nearly decapitating the man before releasing a savage roar. Ripping into his employer's body with reckless abandon, Naruto drenched himself in gore.

Newfound courage lost, the massive gang of lowlifes tucked tail and ran from the red-coated monster, stepping over each other to get away from the source of that terrifying aura.

"Bakemono!"

With all semblance of humanity abandoned, Naruto launched himself into the fray, cutting sanguine swathes through the mob. The hired thugs slipped on each other's blood and tripped over larger body parts, blindly attempting to flee as shards of bone ricocheted across the bridge.

Despite his fatigue, Kakashi recklessly sprinted towards Sakura, horror mounting, but all hope began to falter as he saw mangled innards splayed out in front of his young student's fallen form.

Kakashi numbly attempted to start scooping up her intestines from the ground with a relentless pace, fervently denying any thought that she was too far gone. He couldn't afford to lose another comrade. It was not an option.

Zabuza stood, dumbstruck, watching the carnage unfold in front of him. He hadn't moved from the spot he was captured by Kakashi's ninken, his mouth merely agape underneath the mess of bandages sloppily covering his face.

The bruised and bloodied form of his young protogé shocked him out of the sight, tugging at his arm. "Are you alright, Zabuza-sama?"

"Yeah... It just reminds me of a long time ago," Zabuza muttered, gaze locked on the form of the blond tearing through human flesh like tissue paper. "He has as much blood on his hands as I did at that age."

Haku swallowed thickly, upset at seeing the transformation from such a sweet boy he met in the forest to the animal slaughtering men like insects in front of them.

"Come on, Haku. I have a feeling that Gato's going to be enjoying a long and painful eternity soon enough. Let's take advantage of that fact."

With those words, Zabuza accepted Haku's supporting arm and disappeared in the direction of Gato's estate.

* * *

Reality pulsed back in with a vengeance. Groaning through the dryness of his mouth and the pounding headache between his ears, Sasuke opened dark eyes to a cacophony of screams and distant growls.

Blinking up at the distant grey sky, the Uchiha took in the now mist-free air surrounding him with a distant trickling realization. It was still a struggle to connect the sluggish strands of thoughts in his brain, and Sasuke rolled over with another groan.

Wet.

Cold and sticky and crimson with a whiff of copper squelched up between his pale fingers, and Sasuke stared at the red-stained surface of Tazuna's incomplete bridge.

 _Blood,_ whispered through the foggy roads of his mind. _You aren't even worth killing,_ Itachi breathed, burning memory of a brother who betrayed him and butchered their kin.

Sasuke threw himself to his feet with a curse, rubbing the congealing gore from his palms onto his shorts with a swallowed scream. "What the hell?" he muttered, giving one last shaky wipe before turning bleary eyes up to take in the surroundings.

He instantly wished he hadn't.

A distance away, Tazuna was simply _splattered_ in gory chunks over the length of a yard of concrete, the bits of the old drunk's flesh decorating the bridge that had been the single hope of a struggling nation. But that nauseating sight wasn't what made the Uchiha want to shut his eyes to reality.

It was the image of Sakura, limbs splayed at odd angles with their sensei hovering over her moaning form, futilely pressing the grey snakes of her entrails back into her ruptured abdomen.

"Sasuke!" the jounin barked, voice full of steel and with no hint of the typical nonchalance Team Seven had come to expect from him. Snapping out of his daze, Sasuke rushed the distance on shaky legs and threw himself down beside Sakura.

The faint sensation of pain spoke of skinned knees, but it was ultimately irrelevant in the face of bleary greens orbs and the shaky smile his dying teammate graced him with. _Sasuke-kun_ was formed soundlessly by her pale lips, and unbidden tears sprung to his eyes.

"Hey, Sakura." There was none of his typical disdain in his voice, and the Uchiha forced his lips to pull up into a small smile. Kakashi was just visible in the corner of his eye, hands gone dark, and Sasuke knew what that lack of green chakra meant.

 _Sakura was going to die._

Haruno Sakura died at the age of thirteen on a half-finished bridge in Nami no Kuni. She died suddenly and silently, without dramatic speeches or heartfelt goodbyes. Between one breath and the next, a bubble of blood rose out of one nostril, and the pink-haired girl simply ceased to breathe.

Sasuke's eyes burned. Heat and salt blurred crimson Sharingan, tears pouring down pale cheeks to drip onto blood-soaked tiles. The palms of his hands were covered with Sakura's congealing blood, her vital fluid staining his skin the same way the image of her corpse permanently sunk into his mind with the clarity of a newly earned tomoe.

"Why do they have to die?" the Uchiha asked his silent squad leader in a dead voice.

Why did his mother have to die drowning in her own blood while his father's corpse lay on top of her? Why did Shisui have to linger at the bottom of the Naka River for days until his bloated and split flesh was pulled from the bottom by a curious fisherman? Why did Sakura have to die, fresh and innocent and on her first true mission?

Why was Sasuke cursed to live when everyone else died?

 _Itachi, you should have killed me with our parents that night._

"It's a cruel world." Kakashi replied in a flat, emotionless tone, rising to his feet and lowering his hitai-ate over his unveiled Sharingan. Settling a hand over Sasuke's shoulder in a brief gesture of comfort, the jounin squeezed before turning to face the other end of the bridge. "The mission is a failure. We have to do our best to retrieve Naruto alive now."

Glad for the distraction, Sasuke furrowed his brows in an expression of confusion before following Kakashi's wary gaze.

Naruto was howling in glee, tearing apart a shrieking yakuza with his bare hands and showering in the blood that spilt from the tattooed man's opened veins. Throwing the corpse to the ground amongst a veritable field of dismembered body parts, the genin threw himself back into the shrieking crowd of hired muscle to find a new victim.

Bile burnt in Sasuke's throat as Kakashi lunged forward, and with little other choice, the Uchiha followed behind the jounin. "What the hell is wrong with him?" he panted as they lunged across the unfinished length of the bridge. "Where are Zabuza and the other one?"

"Gone." Kakashi answered the second query tightly. The jounin ignored the first.

The distance had allowed Sasuke to take a bit of edge off the horror. Once Sasuke stepped onto the battlefield amongst the screams of the feral genin's victims, he no longer had that luxury.

The stench of blood was thick and cloying. Bloodily fluids and remnants of butchery stuck to the heels of his zori, squelching up between his toes. A grown man lay on his side weeping for his mother, holding his innards in with with the only hand left to him.

It was too much. Sasuke snapped.

" _What is the difference between reality and illusion?" Itachi murmured, twisting along the edges of his vision like a ghost with Mangekyou swirling malevolently. "Learn to accept that it doesn't exist. We are all bound into one another's fantasies…"_

The howl that tore out of his throat was wild and inhuman and tortured beyond recognition as Sasuke flew backwards in a whirlwind of indiscriminate violence. His lids were peeled back so far that his eyes were pinpricks of red and black surrounded by fields of white.

 _Two eyes blazed in the night, thick and bloody and red like crimson stars fallen from the void. Perdition was risen and tied into a cycling masterpiece of murder. Nails bit into wood as his hands scrabbled, pushing through thick curtains of blood in search of something to grasp. "Nii-san, please!"_

"Sasuke!" Kakashi's voice resounded in his ear, so physically close but so mentally distant compared to the siren song of gore under his fingernails and the way the skin of his face burned as he closed in to Naruto.

" _Sasuke, my baby." Okaa-san breathed, wrapping him up in a maternal embrace that failed to quiet his tears. Because Okaa-san was dead and her stench was the stench of grave dirt and her taste was the taste of old blood on the back of his tongue, peeling out of her rotting flesh._

Red chakra burnt through the air surrounding his living teammate. A cloak of pure violence and malevolence in the shape of a fox that sharpened Naruto's nails and lengthened Naruto's teeth and thickened the lines of his face into jagged stripes.

 _The water was crushing him. Breaking him down and filling his lungs. It was cold and dark and alone and his eyes had been torn from his skull and crushed. His name was Uchiha Shisui and he was eighteen years old, murdered at the hand of his closest friend._

The ring finger of his left hand cracked when he struck Naruto in the face with a closed fist, breaking the boy's nose and seeing it instantly reform with a deeper surge of red hate.

Then suddenly the red hate was gone, smothered out because Kakashi was there, fingers lit up in swathes of purple and barking in the harshest tone Sasuke had ever heard the man speak in.

 _Brother, please. Why are you doing this, nii-san? Why are you hurting me? Please don't hurt me anymore! Itachi, please! No more memories, please! It hurts, nii-san! It hurts so much! Please stop! Please! Please! Please!_

The world went dark as Kakashi's fist hammered into Sasuke's temple.

* * *

To think that he'd _left_ ANBU to avoid such colossal messes. If there was one thing Kakashi had learnt from this ill-fated attempt to actually command a genin squad, it was that he would have been better served to just remain alone.

Everyone he worked with eventually died. Horribly.

Settling onto his haunches, the jounin fruitlessly brushed some of the moisture that seemed thick in Nami no Kuni's air from his flak jacket. Tired, with one KIA and two subordinates out of action, even the infamous Copy Ninja didn't dare to light a fire to keep warm.

He'd disposed of Sakura's body before leaving the battlefield as per Konoha regulation. The loss of one so young and still innocent made him feel even older than his twenty-six years. A girl dead, and two boys covered in the blood of civilians, criminals, and each other.

What a monumental fuck up.

His sensei's son was the first to stir, the hastily applied Gogyo Fuin being enough to disrupt the Kyuubi's chakra and knock the blonde boy out for several hours. Kakashi tensed as the genin rolled about in confusion, slowly relaxing as it became clear it was only the typically clumsy boy controlling the body at the moment.

"Yo."

"Did anyone get the name of the guy that hit me?" Naruto moaned, moving to his feet and stretching out stiff muscles. A quick dunk in a stream had managed to remove much of the blood from the boy, though his once orange jumpsuit was still heavily stained crimson.

Threading his fingers together, Kakashi set his elbows on his knees as he forced himself to consider the best way to break the news to Naruto. How do you explain to a cheery and ignorant boy that he'd been overcome by a demon, managed to brutally murder his teammate and numerous other people, and drive his other teammate into a (hopefully) temporary mental breakdown?

As it would turn out, Kakashi had no chance to ease the boy into it. Once Naruto caught sight of Sasuke limp but _breathing_ form, all stiffness was forgotten as the genin simply dove onto the other boy with a gleeful shriek of "Sasuke, you're alive!"

Twin red eyes shot open at the impact, drinking in the midnight sky, the forest surrounding them, and the blood-stained boy laughing and babbling on his chest in an instant. Then Sasuke, threw Naruto from him and lurched to his feet to spit in a tone of pure venom. "Don't touch me, _bakemono!_ "

 _Well_ , Kakashi reflected as an expression of bewilderment and hurt crossed over Naruto's features. Team Seven was fucked beyond all repair.

* * *

Zabuza landed awkwardly with Haku's arm supporting him, perching in front of Gato's manor. The nukenin gave a subtle stumble from his exhaustion that Haku automatically picked up on and corrected for. The weakness he displayed disgusted himself.

"Off," he grunted. "Let me go."

"But Zabuza-sama, you're still-"

"I said _off_!"

Haku complied obediently, removing his arm from his master's side. Haku proceeded to fuss over the Demon of the Hidden Mist, applying ointment and bandages where necessary after his grueling fight with Hatake Kakashi. Despite all of his cocky taunts and the help of his genius apprentice, Zabuza had truly expected not to make it away from combat with Kakashi no Sharingan alive.

"Taking care of me can wait, Haku. We need to make the most of this opportunity. Gato is gone, with most of his henchman, and his estate is going to be ransacked as soon as everyone figures out what's happened."

With those words, Zabuza stood straight, betraying no hint of pain as he did so. Stabbing his massive sword into the earth, the man completed a series of complex handsigns with all the practiced ease of a true master.

 _Kirigakure no Jutsu!_

A heavy fog rolled in on the estate, masking the approach of two deadly individuals, who entered through the main doors without meaningful confrontation. The few hired thugs they encountered died soundlessly, passing into the realm of death within the space between one blink and the next.

With a series of hand signals, Zabuza instructed Haku to disable any alarms around the rooms containing ledgers and Gato's liquid capital. He was confident between the two of them they could massacre any guards lurking about, but why waste unnecessary time?

Haku silently disappeared into the mist, having memorized the locations of the estate's myriad of security systems during their weeks of service as hired muscle to the fat little dwarf.

Zabuza arrived at a room that appeared smaller than it actually was, due to the massively overflowing papers that occupied it. Cutting through the lock with ease, Zabuza was pleased that no alert had been raised.

Ignoring the vast majority of the documentation in the cluttered room, Zabuza strode confidently to a specific shelf near the back, removing a chunk of papers to reveal a safe hidden behind it.

Utilizing Haku's stealthily acquired information on the combination, the Demon of the Hidden Mist was rewarded with a satisfying click from the metal construct, which swung open quietly to reveal a horde of treasure in paper form. Certificates for gold, backed by Hi no Kuni's Aozora clan - the most powerful merchant family east of Kusagakure.

Quickly stuffing Gato's identification, proof of credit, as well as a number of documents that noted the small man's very long economic reach into a small bag he picked up from an unconscious guard, Zabuza proceeded to exit quietly.

Zabuza moved on, approaching Gato's personal quarters, which were conspicuously empty, for once. Repeating the process of opening the safe, the nuke-nin carefully opened the safe located in a panel above the massive bed, revealing a variety of personal possessions and banknotes. Grabbing as much as he could carry, he swiftly left the house to find Haku waiting next to Kubikiribocho, still implanted into the ground where he left it.

"We're finally ready, Haku," Zabuza sighed, releasing the mist. "With this, we can fix Kirigakure. With this, Yagura doesn't stand a chance."

Nodding at his master's declaration, Haku followed the man who saved him from the bloodline purges. He would always follow Zabuza, he was a tool who owed the man his life. Without Zabuza to protect, Haku's life meant nothing.

This man, despite his prickly exterior, had loved him as a father, and taught him everything he knew. How to protect himself, and conceal who he was.

There was never truly a time for rest, as one threat would always appear to challenge their existence. From being targeted as a Hyoton wielder, to a defenseless child, or even a nuke-nin, Haku had learned to disguise the fact that he was afraid, that he felt inadequate, even his own sex.

Haku knew his place in life was to protect and nurture the dreams of his precious person, and that he would sacrifice his life to do so.

* * *

 _You were wrong, Iruka-sensei._

Naruto was hunched over a trickling brook, dipping his hands into the cool water over and over and scrubbing furiously at the tanned skin until it reddened with irritation. No matter how hard he cleaned, the blonde simply couldn't remove the sensation of warm blood and gore from his hands.

 _You were wrong. I_ am _a monster._

No matter how politely Kakashi-sensei had put it, or how the jounin beat around the bush with the blame for it, there was no other way to put it. Uzumaki Naruto was a monster. A murderer. Filth. Sasuke could definitely see his true nature too - what he really was.

Iruka-sensei was a good person that had faith in the facade of humanity that Naruto wore like skin. Not that Naruto could blame his former teacher. The disguise had been so complete he'd even managed to fool _himself_. But Mizuki had known. The villagers had known.

There was no way the blood was ever going to come off of his hands. The skin between his fingers stung from all the sand and grit that he was rubbing into them in an effort to reduce some of the murder clinging to them, but it was worthless. The death was in his mind, and every time the blonde looked at his hands, he would see them stained in crimson all over again.

Perhaps despite his attempts at denying Naruto the responsibility for the murders, Kakashi knew that. The man must. Otherwise he would say something rather than simply stand and stare with a tired eye and the blonde worked through the pointless motions of cleaning his hands.

Because he couldn't _wash the fucking monster away_. Naruto had managed to get comfortable in his own flesh. Tried to draw lines between the bijuu inside of him and the human that held the destruction back. Painted himself into the role of lone hero jailor. Which was wrong, because he was the monster and the monster was him. Tied up and bound together so tightly there was no real point where _Uzumaki Naruto_ ended and the _Kyuubi no Yoko_ began.

They were one. One monster. One malevolence. One flesh. And the only proper way of dealing with a monster was a swift knife to the throat. Bleed it out and hope the creature stayed dead. Naruto wondered if _he_ would die from such a wound, or was he too much of a monster even for that manner of dying?

If Kakashi hadn't taken away all his weapons, Naruto would have tried it out. The Uzumaki suspected the jounin probably knew that.

Crushing the heels of his palms to his eyes, Naruto forced a breath through his lungs as he bent over with a gasp. "Damn it." he keened with the low whine of a wounded animal. " _Damn it_!"

Sakura didn't deserve to die like she had. She deserved to live long and healthy life, with four children and a white picket fence that Naruto might have even given her. Back when he was deluding himself that he was human.

The tears that poured down over whiskered cheeks came hot and thick as the blonde wept for lost hopes and murdered dreams.

* * *

 **(AN - White):** There's around 5700 words. We've agreed 5000 is going to be our minimum chapter length. Or rather, what I dictated and Ajax just put up with. This is the edited version. Is there a reason no reviewer noticed one of the scenes in the middle literally wasn't finished?

 **(AN - Ajax):** I would recommend taking a look at our Appendix on Ao3, where we clarify a number of changes we've made to the Naruto universe. If you're confused about anything, check there first - our author names are the same on that site.

For our old viewers, yes, we've bent Haku back from girl to boy. We changed our mind about pairings, so the yaoi workaround is no longer needed.


	2. Second Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto or make any profit writing fics about it.**

 **File Title - Who the fuck are ya?**

 **(AN - Ajax):** My expectations of not having very many reviews yet seems to have been proven correct, I suppose. Not altogether surprising for a story on a previously empty account.

* * *

The Sandaime Hokage knew the second that Team Seven stepped into his office that somewhere, _somehow_ , Tobirama-sensei was laughing at him. Hiruzen only needed a glance to realize the gravity of Haruno Sakura's absence. That, coupled with the looks drawn across the faces of the rest of the team, told him something had evidently gone south on the apparently simple C-rank he'd assigned Kakashi's squad.

Pulling his pipe out in an effort to stave off the impending migraine building behind his eyes, Hiruzen lit the bowl with a spark from the tip of his finger and drew in a fortifying inhale. "Report, Jounin Hatake."

Kakashi's stance tightened into formal military lines. "Genin Team Seven returning from assignment C-PE-446898 under Jounin Hatake Kakashi to report mission failure. One KIA."

Taking in the overt flinch that crossed Naruto's face and the abruptly bloodless pallor of Sasuke's skin, the Hokage leaned forward with narrowed eyes. "Full oral summary, Jounin."

"Yes sir. Initial conditions were favourable, however five hours into the mission Genin Team Seven encountered shinobi combat. Kirigakure nukenin Gozu and Meizu, colloquially known as the Oni Kyodai, were swiftly neutralized with bodies hidden for bounty retrieval as per standard ANBU procedure. Interrogation of client revealed that false mission parameters were provided by the client to the Mission Office."

"Despite the change in mission parameters, I deemed it acceptable to continue with the mission. The client, Tazuna, explained that the shipping magnate, Gato, put Wave country into an economic stranglehold. Deciding that the benefits of having the nation in the debt of Konoha would be worth the risk, I continued the mission."

Dumping out the ash from the pipe bowl, Hiruzen topped the tobacco back up with a scowl. "That was ill done. It is outside the purview of your privileges and responsibility to take the initiative of fostering international relations, Jounin Hatake."

The silver haired man accepted the criticism with a silent nod before pressing on. "Our squad continued to the border with Nami no Kuni. There we were accosted by A-rank nuke-nin Momochi Zabuza, forcing me to re-evaluate mission rank to A. I defeated Momochi in combat, but collapsed due to chakra exhaustion, allowing his disguised apprentice to rescue him from the field."

"Was his accomplice another member of the Shinobigatana Shichinin Shuu?" Kiri's swordsmen were universally deadly, and almost all of them had eventually abandoned the village as Yagura led it into bloody civil war. If those loose cannons had started to gather and move against Konoha…

"No sir. He only had chuunin level skills, though he possessed a Hyouton kekkei genkai. A remnant of Kiri's Yuki clan, I suspect. Approximately fourteen to sixteen years of age."

"I see. Continue."

"A week later we encountered Zabuza and his apprentice again. While I engaged Zabuza, Sasuke and Naruto fought the apprentice. Sasuke activated his Sharingan but was defeated by his ward." Here Kakashi hesitated, shifting from one foot to the other will Naruto fisted his hands in his sleeves. "After Sasuke was forced into a state of false death, Naruto's seal began to leak its… contents and he was overwhelmed by the malevolence of it."

Smiling thinly at the confusion that filled Sasuke's dark eyes, the Hokage cut Kakashi off with a gesture. "I think Sasuke has seen enough that it's pointless to try and keep him out of the loop as far as the secret goes." Naruto began to squirm, sending the Sandaime a baleful look, but Hiruzen quieted the boy with both an outstretched hand and solemn glance.

"Twelve years ago when the Yondaime Hokage fought the Kyuubi, he was unable to kill the beast. The only option he had was to seal it away. Naruto was chosen to contain the monster. As I'm sure you've noticed during your mission, the seal permits the bijuu's chakra to leak over into Naruto's own coils during moment of mortal stress. However, he is _not_ the demon itself, merely its jailor. Do you understand?"

To Sarutobi's disappointment, Uchiha subtly shifted away from the other boy as comprehension crossed Sasuke's face. It seemed even that explanation could do little to ease the distance between them. "Yes sir."

"What you have just been told is an S-ranked secret. Speaking of it to those uninformed is treason, carrying a potential penalty of execution." The Hokage informed the Last Uchiha sternly before shifting his attention back to Kakashi. "Continue."

"After the Kyuubi's chakra began to leak from the seal, Naruto was overwhelmed by it and entered a berserker state. While in his frenzy, he killed Gato and much of his hired muscle. As well as our client and Genin Haruno."

The three remaining members of Team Seven seemed to hang anxiously on Sarutobi's next word. Tension only built in silence as the Hokage frowned in thought. Naruto was waiting for judgement on his murders, where Sasuke was caught between fear of the unknown and hunger for some form of justice in the world.

Kakashi was worried for the future of his sensei's son.

"You'll take responsibility for the failure of the mission and the death of your squadmate, Jounin Hatake. Regulations exist for a reason. Your pay will be garnished for the next three years by two percent, paid to the estate of Haruno Sakura. Officially, Genin Haruno's cause of death will be noted as KIA during non-shinobi combat. All references to the Kyuubi and Genin Uzumaki's loss of control are henceforth considered an S-rank secret."

Blue eyes crinkled up beneath a furrowed brow as Naruto gave the Hokage a venomous glare that spoke of disgust, self-loathing, and betrayal. "So you're just gonna sweep it all under the rug, huh? Is that all Sakura-chan deserves?"

The acrid scent of terror wafted to Kakashi's sensitive nostrils when the Sandaime Hokage suddenly stabbed out with a concentrated projecting of killing intent towards the mouthy blonde. "It is yet undecided what is to become of you, Genin Uzumaki. For now, you and Genin Uchiha are both dismissed. Genin Team Seven is officially dissolved from this point forward. Wait outside my office for Jounin Hatake to escort you to supervised holding."

Naruto fled the room in a flash, whiskered cheeks burning with fury and fear that had been caused by someone he'd only considered a friendly old man. Sasuke left a moment later, staring at the Hokage with unreadable dark eyes that for an instant reminded the man of Itachi.

The door clicked shut.

Hiruzen sagged down in his chair, wrinkles deepening as everyone one of his sixty-eight years seemed to weigh heavily on his bones. Waving off the Yondaime's student when the man nearly surged forward in concern, the Sandaime threaded bony fingers together and sighed. "I'm getting too old for this, Kakashi."

"Sir?"

"Just look after Naruto for a short time. This incident is going to have to go before the Council. Until judgement is decided, just make sure that the boy doesn't do anything else irreversible. I understand his guilt - he may be agitated and self-destructive. Just watch him. Regardless of what happened on your mission, he's still a good boy. It's unfair to judge a mere boy for being unable to hold back the malevolence of an ancient demon."

"As you command, Hokage-sama."

* * *

"How troublesome," the Jounin Commander drawled, while reclining on a plushy chair. "I had a game of shouji with Shikamaru planned out. Instead, I get to be here pushing paper around."

Hiruzen sat with legs crossed under his white robes, eyes closed as he took a long draw from his pipe. A tightness around his mouth was the only feature that betrayed his weariness.

Watching as Kohara slinked into the room with grace that seemed foreign considering her wizened body, the Hokage switched his gaze to the masked form of the ANBU Commander, who slid the door shut.

"We're all accounted for, Hiruzen." Homura murmured, running a slow hand through his beard in a nervous tic. Few things could unsettle the typically composed councilor. Sudden and unexplained meetings concerning village security was one of them.

There was little point in beating around the bush. "Uzumaki Naruto lost control of the Kyuubi's chakra on his last mission and slaughtered a number of yakuza, as well as his teammate."

Shikaku's cigarette dropped from his gaping mouth. The embers on the edge singed the meeting room table's oak surface, sending a slow curl of smoke up in the air, petering out as the councilors absorbed the declaration in silence.

Koharu was the first to move, folding her hands in her lap as her lips tightened. Looking for all the world as if she was sucking a sour lemon, the once devastatingly beautiful kunoichi sighed. "It seems there is little choice but to dispose of the jinchuuriki and create a new one now."

"Is that wise, or even possible?" Shikaku reflected instantly, though it looked as if the man was sniffing something repugnant by the way his nose wrinkled up. Logically, Shikaku probably agreed with the notion of a clean slate. But the Nara also had a son of Naruto's age, and the image of the newly minted genin could be swaying his judgement.

"Hiruzen's gamble failed. The only thing we gained from raising the jinchuuriki like any other child of Konoha is a prankster fool that fails at every aspect of being a shinobi, save when he's an uncontrollable murdering berserker." The frown line between Homura's brow grew deeper and deeper as he spoke. "It would be best to cut our losses and start with a fresh vessel to be raised properly."

"I would not necessarily throw away the Yondaime's son quite yet." Danzo spoke up for the first time, jawbone shifting beneath the bandages that covered a third of his face. The old war hawk shifted his visible eye to gaze at the Hokage. "Hiruzen."

Liver spots twisted as the Sandaime Hokage rubbed a hand over his wrinkled brow before jerking his bearded chin towards the door. "A moment alone with Danzo, my old friends."

Danzo eyed each member of the impromptu council warily as they exited. Nara Shikaku spared one long glance towards the bandaged Warhawk before he followed the two advisors and the ANBU commander, eventually sauntering out the door with a lazing stride.

"You know what I'm going to say, Hiruzen," the deceptively feeble man stated. "Your idealistic dreams for the child were bound to fail in practice sooner or later."

Hiruzen pressed his fingers to his temples, massaging them lightly. "You know my reasons. Besides my sentiment for the boy, I thought it would help on a psychological level for Naruto."

"Not at the cost of his teammates' lives, Hiruzen. He needed to be molded properly from the beginning, a true weapon for the village. Your compassion for the boy is regrettable, this entire situation could have been averted if you let me have my way."

Danzo continued, "You lost a great deal of political capital in the village by securing the boy the childhood you wanted for him. Without my support now… The boy's future is grim."

Hiruzen flashed Danzo a dirty look. "I will _not_ allow harm to come to the boy, Danzo."

The War Hawk shrugged his shoulders, stating, "I suggest a compromise. I will support a gentler solution for the boy, if you provide for me but one thing in return."

"And that is?" Hiruzen's visage darkened as old suspicions began to rear their head.

"I want Uchiha Sasuke."

A long period of silence endured, hanging heavily over the room. The old compatriots and rivals levelled steely glares at each other, before Hiruzen sat back with a sigh.

"You can't use the 'Itachi' excuse on me, Hiruzen. I know how incredibly valuable an agent Uchiha Itachi was, and is, to this village. If I could mold a similar asset out of his younger brother…"

"Danzo, I have numerous problems with this suggestion, not to mention the boy's mental stability. Not only was his clan executed in front of him, but now this situation in Nami no Kuni only compounds the issue."

"If Uchiha Sasuke has but a fraction of the psychological fortitude his brother displayed, I have no doubt I could create an invaluable resource for the village out of this boy."

"But Danzo, you forget that he's practically grown already. He has his team, his friends-"

"What team? You know very well that even with my support, Team Seven will be no more after this incident. And what friends, exactly? My sources tell me the boy is completely alone, with no ties to anyone or anything, including this village. As I see it, the boy has enormous potential as either an agent of Konoha or one against it. He is valuable both militarily and politically, and I intend to capitalize on this opportunity."

Hiruzen took a long drag on his pipe, releasing a billowing cloud of smoke into the room. "If I agreed to this proposition, and I emphasize _if_ , what could I expect your plans for the boy to follow?

"Well, as you said, Sasuke is not a small child anymore. He's gone through basic training as a normal, mercenary shinobi of the village. With that in mind, I will not be able to provide the standard level of emotional conditioning that I normally supply my operatives with. Regardless, Sasuke is too politically valuable to force into the role of a typical, nameless agent. I also have little wish to alienate Itachi by providing the _traditional_ conditioning for his younger brother."

Hiruzen resupplied his pipe from a bag of premium tobacco hidden in his voluminous robes, relighting his pipe with a flick of his fingers.

"Especially given the fact that the Chunin Exams are arriving in approximately six months, I would need to start immediately with the child. A significant degree of emotional and physical training would be necessary to maximize his value at the upcoming examination."

Hiruzen drummed his fingers impatiently on the wood of the table in front of him. "What about his public image? What exactly will be the front that Uchiha Sasuke puts up to the world? We can't have him simply drop off the map, only to wheel him out when it becomes convenient for the village."

"Well, I presume we would have him officially entered into the ranks of the ANBU. However, he would be _affiliated_ with me. With this in mind, what do you suppose is the correct course of action to take with Uzumaki himself?"

Hiruzen let out another belch of smoke, adding to the hazy quality of the atmosphere. "Well, it would be highly difficult to add another shinobi to Team Seven in the wake of this disaster, let alone replace two if Sasuke is enrolled into ANBU."

"You will not be able to maintain this childhood you constructed for the boy, old friend. You may be the Hokage, but that does not make you an invincible despot. We cannot simply ignore this incident. He must be prepared as a true jinchuuriki if he is not disposed of."

"I suppose I could continue to allocate Kakashi to watch over Naruto, and perhaps enter him into ANBU as well. We would need to reinstate Hatake as a captain, though I am loath to force Kakashi back into the Corps." Hiruzen accepted with a tired sigh. "As you said, the Chuunin Exams are arriving in the near future. I would think that we could still have Naruto and Sasuke operate on the same team for the event, no? Some sense of normalcy should be kept for the two boys in any case. They must have a reason, _something_ to fight for, something to remind them why they are loyal to Konoha."

"After I am finished, Sasuke's loyalty to the village will not be in question, Hiruzen. I assure you of that."

The Sandaime let out a snort before rising from his seat. "Of that I have little doubt, Danzo."

The Hokage strode calmly to the heavily reinforced door. Hiruzen poked his head into the hallway, noting the ever-taciturn ANBU commander standing ramrod straight, Nara Shikaku sprawled across several chairs, and his two old teammates attempting to hide their obvious agitation.

"You may re-enter," Hiruzen said with a small smirk, internally chuckling despite the gravity of the situation at hand.

The four members of this unofficial council made their way back inside the meeting room, Koharu flashing her old teammate a dirty look for a moment. She was less than pleased with the obvious exclusion from Danzo and Hiruzen's negotiating.

"Is everyone settled?" Hiruzen asked as he took to his seat. After a series of nods, the Hokage gestured in Danzo's direction.

"Hiruzen and I have reached a consensus in terms of how to deal with this unfortunate situation," Danzo started. "Uzumaki's value to the village is far too great to simply do away with the child, not to mention the difficulty we would face in finding a new host."

"I will recall Jiraiya promptly to ascertain the integrity of the sealing matrix that keeps the Kyuubi in check, as well as to integrate Naruto-kun into the role of a typical jinchuuriki. While regrettable, it seems my attempts to provide him with a relatively normal childhood have failed," Hiruzen finished darkly, while stroking his pointed beard.

Danzo looked at the Hokage pensively before adding, "It seems that the most obvious solution is to enroll the boy into the ANBU corps, providing our esteemed commander is in accord?"

With this, the enigmatic figure inclined his head slightly, indicating his agreement silently.

"Hatake Kakashi can be reinstated as an ANBU Captain, providing direct oversight of the jinchuuriki," Danzo continued, face betraying no emotion. "He and Jiraiya will be keeping a close eye on the child, while providing him with personal education and observation. Maximizing his combat potential and psychological health are the top priority at this point in time."

"And what of the Uchiha, Hokage-sama?" the Jounin Commander asked pointedly. Nara Shikaku sat casually, but his piercing eyes betrayed the aura of indifference he exuded. "What will become of that boy?"

"Given the dissolution of Team Seven, I believe Sasuke would also benefit from the structure that ANBU could provide him," Hiruzen supplied. "Does everyone find that solution agreeable?"

The two former members of Team Tobirama answered in the affirmative, followed by a sharp nod from the ANBU Commander. Nara Shikaku gazed musingly at Danzo, before releasing a belated, "Hai, Hokage-sama."

"Then it is decided," Hiruzen finished grimly. "I declare this council adjourned, you may return to your duties."

* * *

When Naruto was four years old he'd been a scrawny little thing. All whiskers and bones and a hungry stomach. It had been difficult in the orphanage to find the food to quiet the starvation pangs. Then he'd met a kindly ramen chef and solemnly sworn that from that day on ramen would be his favourite food, and he would never refuse to eat it.

At twelve years old, Naruto broke that promise. The noodle broth was warm in the cup between his fingers, little bubbles of fat drifting over the top of the soup and he dug in reluctantly with an old set of chopsticks. The blonde truly tried, twisting up a hank of wheat noodles and shoving them in his mouth.

They stuck in his gullet like dead maggots, writhing down his throat and getting caught up on the inherent nausea that had plagued him since he woke up to the news of his being a murderer. Struggling to swallow, the muscles of Naruto's throat worked desperately even as the lack of oxygen threatened to make his vision white out.

Then he was coughing, heaving up his empty stomach as the ramen splattered to the floor covered in stomach bile. Kakashi's hand pounded into Naruto's back, driving the boy into a fit of coughing that provided an excuse for the uncontrollable weeping that wracked his form.

"There, there. Deep breaths Naruto. In and out. Slow and steady. Take your time…" the jounin's voice was low and comforting in Naruto's ear, and the jinchuuriki clung to his former squad leader's tones with all the desperation of a drowning man.

Eventually the fit subsided, and Naruto drug the back of his hand across his stinging eyes. "Sorry about that, Kakashi-sen… Jounin Hatake." After the sins he'd committed, Naruto had no right to claim the man as his sensei.

"Just Kakashi-sensei." The silver haired man ordered with a half smile, his mask bunching up in the familiar telltale way the genin of Team Seven had associated with the man's good humor.

Tears blurred anew in Naruto's blue eyes. "Kakashi-sensei, I can't - I _can't_ …

There was a sharp rap on the door to Kakashi's apartment that silenced the genin, breaking the moment between teacher and student.

Staring down at Naruto for a long beat, the jounin rose to his feet and threw open the door to admit an ANBU member in a panda mask.

"You have been summoned to report back to the Hokage's office with Genin Uzumaki." the woman reported tonelessly, taking in the two members of the former Team Seven through unreadable eye slits before flitting away in a rush of leaves and wind.

Settling a hand on Naruto's orange clad shoulder, Kakashi frowned. "Well Naruto, it's best not to keep Hokage-sama waiting." Then they were moving, the world rushing by in a dizzying swirl of chakra and colour and wind that threatened to make Naruto heave his guts back up again.

The shunshin deposited them at the foot of the Hokage's tower. Naruto swallowed uneasily as he stared up at the building that had once been a haven. Now wreathed in the red evening sunlight and the crimson weight of his sins, it seemed infinitely more frightful.

Part of him cried out to dash in and take his punishment. Offer his neck up to the executioner's blade and be satisfied with the justice of it. Another part of Naruto urged him to flee as far and as fast as his legs could take him. Frozen with indecision, the blonde failed to do either until Kakashi gently nudged him forward.

Stepping through the quiet halls of the tower, Naruto nervously worked his hands into fists the closer they came to his pseudo-grandfather's office. It felt like there were hostile eyes digging into his back, and considering his jinchuuriki status, there probably were.

A dizzy minute later, the jounin and genin were standing in front of the door of Konohagakure's Hokage. Kakashi's hand was a warm weight on Naruto's shoulder, familiar and comforting. Taking a sharp breath, the Uzumaki steeled himself. He was as ready as he would ever be.

The door swung inward to reveal Sarutobi Hiruzen lounging behind his desk. There was a man in ANBU armor with a purple striped bear mask standing at attention behind the Hokage's shoulder.

Kakashi's nails dug into the flesh of Naruto's shoulder in unwilling spasm before the jounin withdrew contact entirely, face gone carefully blank. "Jounin Hatake and Genin Uzumaki reporting as ordered, Hokage-sama."

"Thank you, Kakashi." the Sandaime forced a smile, motioning to a pair of seats across from him. Apparently, despite all the formality of their meeting earlier in the day, the evening session would be a bit more familial. "How are you doing?"

"I'm alright." Naruto lied through his teeth, voice gravelly. The furrowing between the Hokage's brows told Naruto that the Sandaime _knew_ he was being lied to.

But the emotional state of a child was of little importance in the current meeting.

Nodding slowly, Hiruzen flickered his dark eyes towards Kakashi to drink in some unspoken signal before the village's leader motion the man standing behind him forward. "I'd like to introduce the ANBU Commander to you, Naruto."

Which was a bit random Naruto felt, unless the leader of Konoha's black ops was needed to execute him? Blinking in confusion, Naruto tilted his head in askance before shrugging. "Hello sir."

The masked man gave a terse nod before resuming his silent staring. _Creepy_.

"In light of the incident in Nami no Kuni, I dissolved Genin Team Seven. After a meeting with the Council, we've decided what to do with you."

Nervous sweat began to bead on the blonde's palms as he unconsciously leaned forward, observing the Hokage with wide blue eyes. A bitter smile quirked Hiruzen's lips, making Naruto even more anxious.

"Genin Uzumaki, along with Uchiha Sasuke you have been offered a position within Konoha's Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai. Genin Uchiha will be able to refuse recruitment without career penalty, but you cannot. Your consent is merely formality. Do you accept your commission?"

Life in the shadows, or death.

Naruto wasn't the sharpest kunai in the holster. He wasn't a prodigy at the shinobi arts like Sasuke. He didn't have the encyclopedic mind that Sakura had when she was alive. He certainly didn't have Shikamaru's lazy genius. But he could read between the lines well enough. Accept a position in Konoha's black ops program, or face execution.

"Yes." Naruto rasped, shifting his tired eyes from the Hokage to the ANBU Commander as the bear masked man stepped forward.

A pair of gloved hands emerged from beneath the Commander's dull yellow cloak. In quick, efficient movements Naruto's orange jacket was torn open. The blond drowned his instinctive indignation at the barely concealed scorn the ANBU leader had for his eye catching outfit.

Forming a dizzying series of one handed seals, the ANBU Commander lit up his fingertip with a tiny blazing beacon of blue chakra before setting it to the skin of Naruto's left bicep.

The blond barely contained a scream as the foreign chakra raced into his system. It was like liquid fire being poured into the muscles of his arm, agony racing up along individual nerves and slamming into Naruto's skull like an explosive tag. Foreign sensations and a queer taste of other minds pressed in briefly against the jinchuuriki's consciousness. Then it was over.

Drawing his finger away, the ANBU Commander gaze down at the new crimson swirl of ink and chakra that linked the blond boy into the ANBU matrix with satisfaction. It would permit the boy to receive orders from superior officers, relay short streams of information to other ANBU members, and confirm his identity upon request.

"Hokage-sama." Kakashi croaked, the limited planes of his visible face milk-white with shock and apprehension. The strain of the jounin's voice drew the attention of the room from Naruto's tattooing session just in time to see the Shiroi Kiba's son sink down onto one knee.

"I humbly request re-admission into Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai, if it is in accordance with the will of my Hokage."

Shock rippled through Naruto as he stared down at Kakashi's hunched form. He'd never known that his sensei had served in the black ops, and it was certainly unusual to see the man so humble. It was the first time he'd heard the jounin beg for anything.

Tobacco smoke curled in the dim light of the Hokage's office as Hiruzen puffed thoughtfully, not accepting but neither denying Kakashi's request. "Four years ago I dismissed you from your duties as ANBU Captain despite your acclaimed years of service. It was my wish that you not be forced to darken your heart further in service of the village. Now you wish to step back into the shadows?"

Hiruzen only permitted Kakashi a silent beat in which the jounin visibly struggled to formulate a reply before the Hokage smiled ruefully. "However, given the circumstances and your request I don't believe that I can find it in me to refuse your service. Very well. I confer upon you the rank of ANBU Captain and give you command over the newly formed squad Gamma-3. Recruit Uzumaki is your only current subordinate."

Reaching out a chakra wreathed hand, the ANBU Commander set it over Kakashi bicep for only a split second. A brief touched ghosted over his awareness, and Naruto knew that beneath the long sleeves of his flak jacket, the Hatake was sporting an identical red tattoo over his skin.

"Welcome back to the suck." the Commander rumbled with just the vaguest hint of humour.

* * *

There must be death in his bones, Sasuke decided as his zori crunched over unkempt dirt roads that had once gleamed with pristine white grit. The paths snaked between the houses of the Uchiha clan, linking home to home. Once there had been many families in the district, with the sound of laughing children in the air and a faint scent of mothers' baking sweets.

Now Sasuke was alone.

After the Massacre, Sasuke had begun to believe that the blood of his clan had soaked into the ground. Running in through the cracks and down into the very soil until there was decay and silence in all corners of the district. A mixture of holy and unholy, consecrated by the death of his family. Stepping out into the rest of the village had been like stepping out into life, though filial duty chained Sasuke to always return to the compound of ghosts.

Yet the life that seemed to fill the rest of the world couldn't keep Sakura from dying. She'd just been a stupid, innocent little girl. One of the many children Konoha churned out with zest in their smiles and the air of fresh growth in their lungs. She'd been so very _alive_ , until she wasn't.

She had been placed in a genin squad with Uchiha Sasuke, and three short months later and she'd died. Ripped apart by another foolish boy she'd trusted that had been unable to master the monster inside of himself. Perhaps she'd been contaminated by the rot that filled Sasuke's heart - the death that seemed to flow out of him and into the world with every breath.

The Uchiha Clan was a cursed clan it seemed, bringing death to themselves and those around them simply by existing in the same space. Or maybe it was just Sasuke himself.

Sasuke's thoughts were interrupted as he approached the entrance to the Uchiha Clan compound, noticing a lone figure waiting outside the front gates. It was an elderly, solemn man with a noticeable scar marring his chin. Wrapped in bandages, and firmly gripping a cane, he certainly seemed past his prime.

Favouring the old man with a look of pure suspicion, Sasuke made to turn away. What some geezer was doing standing around outside of his gates was beyond his scope of interest. Let the man starve for all the Uchiha cared. No civilian had business on the sacred grounds of his clan.

"Uchiha Sasuke," the bandaged man's voice called out in a deep monotone. "I would like to speak with you for a moment, providing you have the time."

Sasuke snorted rudely. "No. In fact, I _don't_ have time for this. Go away."

"Is that so?" Danzo levelled Sasuke a knowing look with his one visible eye. "I know of the events that took place in Nami no Kuni. I also know that the current Team Seven will be dissolved, and Hatake Kakashi as well as one Uzumaki Naruto will be installed as ANBU members presently. But where does that leave you, Uchiha Sasuke?"

"What do you want from me, old man?" Sasuke replied angrily, stepping around the crippled senior. "I'm _leaving_ , so stop bothering me."

Danzo held up his cane to block the Uchiha with surprising agility, belying his seeming fragility. "Does it anger you that Uzumaki Naruto will be receiving preferential treatment? He will have one-on-one training and become a member of Konoha's premier military force while you are left in the dust. What do you suppose will happen to _you_ now that you have no team?"

"Are you _trying_ to make me angry? For the last time, what is it you want from me?" Sasuke exclaimed angrily, glaring at the Warhawk venomously.

"Allow me to inform you what will become of you, Uchiha Sasuke. You will be left behind by your former teammates, forgotten as the legendary Hatake Kakashi takes Uzumaki Naruto under his wing and forges him into a magnificent weapon. You will be consigned to an existence of mediocrity as you are shuffled between one team of prosaic shinobi and another, where you will never achieve the potential you have burning inside you."

Sasuke's gaze turned dark at these words, hands unsubtly jammed into his pockets as he continued to brood.

"Allow me to propose an alternate path, Uchiha-san." Danzo brought his face close to Sasuke's looking him directly in the eyes. "One that will elevate you to Uchiha Itachi's level."

At those words, Sasuke's petulant scowl turned deadly serious.

"I know what it is you want, Uchiha Sasuke, and I can help you get it. I am a close advisor and friend to the Hokage, and he has granted me permission to take you under my wing as a personal operative."

Dark eyes blazed red, twin Sharingan pinning Danzo with a suspicious but hungry glare. "And what's the catch? I really doubt you're doing this out of the goodness of your heart."

"My concerns lie with the safety of this village, Uchiha Sasuke. Nothing more, and nothing less. I believe that I can bring your full potential to bear in the service of Konoha."

Sasuke blinked slowly, red eyes going dark as he turned his gaze away to stare down the dim streets.

"In return for my help in drawing out your maximal capabilities, I will expect a few items in return," Danzo said gravely. "Your loyalty to this village, to me, will be _unquestionable_. You will obey my commands, and learn to become a true shinobi to be wielded in the service of this village, without regard to your personal agenda or emotions. I will not hesitate to deal with you accordingly if I am led to question your resolve. I do not tolerate weakness. Now, do you accept?"

Sasuke stared intently at the man in front of him, eyes full of a mixture of barely restrained violence and ambition. After a few moments, Sasuke's head dipped in agreement.

"Good. We start immediately."

At a subtle hand signal from Danzo, two masked agents landed silently behind the dark-haired boy, one rendering him unconscious with a blow to the head.

"Remove him to The Den."

* * *

 **(AN - White):** 5700 words. Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review!


	3. Third Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and we make no profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title - we prolapse in here**

 **(AN - Ajax):** Let's give Naruto a harem, but he can ditch them to give Sasuke an mpreg baby.

( **AN - White): NO.**

 **(AN - Ajax):** Might be nice to add a touch of humor xD. I have a sneaking suspicion this story will be a little dark. And more than a little angsty.

( **AN - White):** I wonder if people think we're serious writers? We put out this detailed political/angst stuff. They must have this image of us hunched over our desks, desperately comparing notes about ideologies and psychological character development. But in reality behind the scenes it's all gratuitous cursing and pictures of Sasuke as a roasted sausage.

* * *

Sasuke was shocked back into awareness as a cold deluge of water was thrown over his form. Sputtering in shock, the Uchiha shot up into a sitting position to glare at the orange haired teen that was standing blank-faced over him, metal pail in hand.

"My apologies for the blow to the head, Uchiha Sasuke." the older boy offered tonelessly with nary a blink. "Until an agent's stealth capabilities meet Danzo-sama's approval, they are not permitted to witness travel to or from the Den."

There was a faint burning at the back of Sasuke's tongue that the Uchiha dismissed as resentment, swallowing poisonous words in favour of a clenched jaw.

A part of Sasuke wanted to lash out, to sneer viciously or strike with a closed fist. It was demeaning to be treated as if he were an incapable child, but the expectations of his new boss were what he'd agreed to.

Whatever it took to close the distance between himself and Itachi.

"You may notice an uncomfortable sensation at the back of your tongue. This is a temporary side effect of the fuinjutsu applied to you while you were unconscious. It prevents you from speaking of Danzo-sama's plans or of our organization, _Ne_. It will pass."

Lurching to his feet with a snarl, Sasuke shoved aside the urge to stick his tongue out and see if he could detect the seal in favour of shoving his glaring face in the older agent's. After the man failed to so much as twitch in reaction, the raven-haired boy subsided with a growl. "Don't just do things to me without my permission."

"Simply agreeing to join Ne is implicit permission to perform any procedure required on you, for the benefit of the organization or of Konoha." A slim orange brow quirked in an almost sarcastic look - as if the man wished to express amusement but was unable or unwilling to. "You have also been linked into the ANBU seal matrix by the tattoo on your left bicep. As of now, these are the only procedures that have been performed on you by Ne or its agents."

Sasuke was distracted from his instinctive attempt to inspect the curling red tattoo - and he just only realized that he was _naked_ from the waist up - by the Ne agent spinning about and stalking off in sharp, efficient steps.

"Follow me, Uchiha Sasuke." The orange haired boy ordered him without bothering to wait and see if the Uchiha was following. Sasuke scrambled to catch up, quickly falling into line behind the teen and scanning his surroundings with a suspicious glare.

Steel pipes snaked periodically out from burnished soldered plates. There were just the barest hint of smattered copper rust, visually accompanying the faint trickle of water pumping through the pipes. Faint spots of fluorescent light shimmered along the bends of metal.

The ceiling arched over them, easily passing two stories in height. Every sharp corner was harshly lit up by scattered, cheap electric bulbs. No concealing shadow could be found anywhere within the room, giving a false appearance of open space.

Yet Sasuke could feel the very earth itself pressing in on him, heavy and dense pressure that instinctively made him feel smothered. The Den must be buried deep underground, amongst the very foundations of Konohagakure.

As they left the enormous chamber Sasuke had woken up in, the pair rounded a corner into a tight steel corridor. "Where's Danzo?" the Uchiha demanded as they wove around into another passageway without catching sight of any other living beings.

The orange haired teen stopped so abruptly that the genin nearly ran into him. Without giving Sasuke time to open his mouth, the Ne agent spun about to stare down at the shorter boy with a frigid stare. "Danzo- _sama_ has appointed me to be your commanding officer within Ne. The Councilor has many affairs to manage, and it would be a waste of his time to spend it orientating a new recruit. You may refer to me as taichou or _sir_ within the Den, and by Yamanaka Fuu in public settings. You will be summoned when Danzo-sama wishes to see you. No earlier and no later."

Fuu's yellow eyes were lit with the sort of fanaticism only years of indoctrination could create, and Sasuke repressed a shiver until the man turned away and began to lead him into the nearest door on the left.

The walls were covered with the iconic armour that all citizens of the village associated with the ANBU corps in differing sizes and colours. Below them at the foot of the walls were a myriad collection of tanto in different lengths, as well as pouches that seemed to be stuffed full of either kunai or shuriken.

"Strip." Fuu commanded, all the emotional devotion to his leader that had been visible only a moment ago drained away into the Yamanaka's familiar empty mannerisms. "You have no need for that clothing at the current time. I will properly fit your gear and weaponry. For the rest of the week you will remain in The Den, practicing stealth exercises in full combat outfit unless you pass inspection."

Embarrassment burned fiercely in Sasuke's veins, his cheeks flushing red as he obeyed and stripped naked under his Taichou's clinical gaze. The automatic roving and cataloguing of his body condition the Ne agent performed was almost worse than the act of stripping naked itself.

Nodding once in acknowledgement, Fuu turned away to begin checking size labels among the hanging ANBU outfits. "If you manage to pass preliminary inspection, we will spend the remainder of the week instructing you in kenjutsu. Next Sunday morning you will report to The Roost to take your assignment on the squad Gamma-3 under Hatake Kakashi."

Fuu shoved a skin-tight sleeveless black spandex shirt into Sasuke's hand, not bothering to watch as the Uchiha wriggled into the top. Breathable shorts followed, and then dark sweatpants.

Unwillingly, Sasuke felt flickers of excitement curling in his gut as the Yamanaka demonstrated how to strap on his pale carbon fibre body armour and arm guards. It was such a silly thing to look forward to, that he would merely _look_ as Itachi did when that man held captaincy of an ANBU squad. But it felt like Sasuke was closing the gap between them, if only by an inch.

"Your other squadmate will be the jinchuuriki Uzumaki Naruto."

"What?!" Sasuke exploded, slight contentment easily forgotten in the wake of shock and indignation. "You can't seriously expect me to work with that murderer! How the hell is he even on a squad anyway?" He hadn't _liked_ Sakura, but the girl hadn't deserved to be ripped in half by a wild animal.

Yamanaka-taichou blinked, his cold eyes betraying no hint of reaction to the statement, yet Sasuke felt as if he had failed some basic test. "Shinobi Rule Number One - A shinobi must follow their commander's instructions." Fuu paused before selecting a tanto, drawing the tipless blade and pressing it firmly into Sasuke's right hand.

"Test the weight of it." Fuu commanded absently, gripping the tanto's sheath in both hands and stepping away to give Sasuke some space to swing. "Shinobi Rule Number Four - A shinobi must always put the mission first." the Yamanaka continued as the tanto's sharp blade began to cut through the air with deadly precision.

A muscle in Sasuke's clenched jaw tensed, jumping beneath the boy's pale skin. But he forced himself to nod with satisfaction and hand back the tanto.

"Yes, _sir_."

* * *

Kakashi settled a hand over the porcelain mask strapped to his hip. Four years out of the forces and it was still a familiar and comforting weight. The bone white surface was smooth and unyielding beneath the tips of his gloved fingers, and the reinstated ANBU Captain smiled.

Unbelievably, he'd missed life in the corps. It was harsh and tiring and full of sweat, blood, and tears. But every mission was a tangible contribution to the betterment of Konoha, he had told himself. Kakashi also knew that only when the weariness settled into his bones that he could sleep without dreams.

The first three months after his discharge he'd been able to do little but stare at the walls of his apartment with nothing to do and no way to drown the surging tides of memory.

Giving the dog mask a final proprietary pat, Kakashi slid a kunai into the crack between Naruto's window and the sill. The ANBU captain popped open the cheap lock with a silent movement, and then slithered into his subordinate's apartment with a smirk hidden beneath his traditional mask.

Kakashi peered down at the blonde boy sleeping fitfully on his ratty old futon. The harried expression and dark bags under Naruto's eyes spoke of night after night poorly sleeping. Nightmares, in all likelihood. The ANBU captain made a mental note to schedule a psychological evaluation for the child. Naruto was unlikely to pass, but at least it would give Kakashi an idea of what to do to ease the kid's guilt.

The silver haired man already knew how to ease _his_ guilt. Solemn hours before the memorial stone. Cheap porn and the meaningless release found between a kunoichi's thighs. Gai, stupid jokes, and warm sake. The next mission, and the next, and the next. Kakashi archived his sentiments for a later date with practiced ease.

 _Acknowledge._

Flaring a burst of chakra through the ANBU seal on his left bicep, Kakashi smiled with his eyes as Naruto jolted awake with a girlish scream. The mental command combined with the burning sensation and the figure looming at the foot of his futon was more than enough to shock the boy out of any post-sleep drowsiness.

"Good morning, Naruto-chan!" Kakashi beamed as if he were a cheery waitress taking a lunch order rather than a trained killer showing up silently at five in the morning. "Rise and shine! Time to tackle a new day!"

Bewildered, the blonde peeked out the window at the early morning darkness. "What the hell, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto flickered the blue eyes he'd inherited from his father back towards the man. "It's gotta be like, the middle of the night! What are you even doing here? And what's with the red eye? You expecting a fight?"

Blinking his scarred eyelid over the revealed Sharingan, Kakashi shrugged. It was better to get back in the habit of constantly using the doujutsu, learning to compensate for the drainage of frequent use and increase his reserves, but he has little desire to launch into a lengthy explanation for Naruto's benefit.

"It's 0500 hours, Naruto. I'm giving you an hour to get ready and something in your stomach before we report off to the Roost. Better get used to early days and long nights kiddo."

Naruto grumbled, scowling at the ANBU attire that covered Kakashi as if it had done him personal wrong before the Uzumaki shuffled out of the room. A moment later the jounin heard the rattling whistle of steam hurtling through old pipes.

While he waited for the blonde to get cleaned up for the day, Kakashi decided to take a peek around his student's apartment. He'd gotten a brief look many months past before Team Seven had taken the Bell Test, and he'd been… unimpressed.

Grimacing as he stepped over a pair of dirty underwear, Kakashi sauntered into the kitchen. The jounin ignored the ramshackle collection of chairs and a table in favour of peeking in the fridge. There was little more than nearly expired milk and half-rotted, long-forgotten vegetables. Cups of instant ramen filled the cupboards.

"You want one?" Naruto asked as he entered the kitchen, hair still dripping with beads of condensation. The signature orange jumpsuit was bunched around the jinchuuriki's short form, sticking awkwardly where the boy had rushed through his drying.

"No." Taking one of the cups with a frown, he tossing it over to the new ANBU recruit and closed the cupboard with a bang. "When we're done at headquarters today I'm taking you grocery shopping. If you didn't have the Kyuubi's chakra compensating for your terrible diet, I wouldn't be surprised if you'd died of malnutrition."

"Ramen's good for you!"

Turning to give the blonde a dour look, Kakashi merely shook his head and motioned for the boy to hurry up and cook his salt loaded breakfast. Naruto didn't waste any time, rushing through the few minutes it took to boil a kettle and slurp down the cheap noodles under the man's impassive gaze.

"Let's go," Kakashi ordered after the boy finished, leading him back through the musty apartment and out the window into the early morning chill. Sparing a gauging glance towards the fingers of light peeking over the horizon, Kakashi turned and began to leap across the roofs of the village's buildings. Sensing his subordinate following his lazy movements closely, the ANBU Captain made a beeline towards the Hokage monument.

The location of the Roost was no great secret. ANBU's headquarters was a series of buildings nestled on the top of the mountain that overlooked the village. Given the sheer size of the black ops corps despite member attrition, attempting to disguise the location with the amount of traffic the Roost experienced was impractical.

When building the headquarters of the ANBU corps, the Nidaime Hokage had chosen a location based on defensibility and command of the nearby terrain rather than secrecy. Thus the Roost had a constant heavy guard presence, and was designated as the command center of the village during invasion rather than the impressive but difficult-to-defend urban Hokage's Residence.

 _Identify._

A warning tingle pulsed through his arm as Kakashi lead Naruto up the narrow pathway that scaled the face of the Hokage monument. The unseen eyes of several patrolling ANBU squads dug into the pair, and Kakashi knew if any visitor didn't quickly provide proof of their right to the Roost they would be quickly intercepted and interrogated.

 _ANBU Reporting. Callsign Hound-One._ Kakashi sent the mental reply back over the matrix link with a familiar burning of the tattoo and a tiny precise burst of chakra. The observing eyes didn't subside, but no further challenges to their presence came.

"Welcome to ANBU Headquarters Naruto." Kakashi called out as they touched down. Giving the panting genin a moment to catch his breath, the jounin turned to watch the horizon with an easy smile. "Also known as the Roost. Though I suppose you know that already, don't you?"

"Are you kidding?" Naruto huffed, red face normalizing quickly. "Everyone and their mother knows about this place. I'm not _that_ stupid, you know?"

Ruffling the jinchuuriki's blonde locks, the jounin ignored the squawk of annoyance to give a shrug. "Well you never know. I distinctly recall you not knowing what chakra was."

"I knew what it was!"

"Really? Because I seem to remember some interesting things about this stuff called 'chatra'..."

Stomping his foot with an exaggerated look of anger, Naruto turned his best puppy dog eyes up at the silver haired captain "Kakashi-sensei!"

"I'm immune to those looks." the Hatake deadpanned, smirking inwardly at the mental image of Pakkun. _This_ was good. Healthy. Keep the boy talking, and keep his mind from wallowing in guilt. Keep Naruto distracted, so that he could keep moving forward, the methods he wished he had followed himself. If his sensei's son couldn't prove useful to the village, Naruto would face execution.

Casting a glance at the timepiece that was built into the wall next to The Roost's front entrance, Kakashi nodded in satisfaction. _0540._ Slightly early, but in ANBU the early bird was the one that got the worm. Unless it was the sneaky bird that did? Something along those lines…

Ah well. Clapping a hand over Naruto's shoulder, Kakashi spun him about and began to steer the apprehensive looking blonde through the great double doors that led into The Roost's main foyer. It was deceptively pretty, just like the external furnish of the building.

 _Welcome to Konoha's hellmouth._ Kakashi thought cynically.

* * *

Naruto remembered well the feeling of disconnection he's always had with the people of Konohagakure. From his very birth as a wailing babe, he'd been peered at from every corner with distrustful eyes and frowned at with hard mouths. The rejection of his childhood at been complete and total, hate nipping at his heels for what he'd been born to contain.

The Roost gave Naruto an equal feeling of disconnection, it was different from the burning resentment that had cut him away he got from the common man. ANBU's headquarters was filled with _nonrecognition_ \- a lack of caring born of the way that eyes simply skated over his skin with indifference. Amongst the hardened killers of Konohagakure's black ops, the jinchuuriki garnered as much immediate interest as a new piece of furniture.

The Uzumaki was unsure which atmosphere he preferred. At least in their hate, the people of the village had _seen_ him.

Shuffling closer to Kakashi, Naruto hunched orange clad shoulders in as they passed along a maze of corridors. Masked shinobi prowled on by, not sparing an instant to gawk at either the garishly clothed blonde or the now dog-masked jounin.

Closed doors lined the walls, the pale beech surfaces pockmarked with age and crowned with bronze plates. SIGMA-2 one read, the printed black letters peeling away and the gold knob covered in the scratched of well use.

"We're here." Kakashi murmured, voice low and cool. Naruto knew just from the sound of it that he wasn't listening to Kakashi-sensei any longer. The armour clad man looming in front of him was ANBU Hound-1, and gentle teasing had vanished.

GAMMA-3 greeted his cerulean gaze as the blonde peered up. The sign was brand new in comparison to the door around it, the polished bronze reflecting the electric glare from the fluorescent tubes dangling from the ceiling.

Slipping into the room as Kakashi held the door open for him, Naruto quickly scanned it before frowning in disappointment. No windows. A cheap desk shoved into one corner. A pair of ragged plaid couches occupied the full length of one wall, with a small beaten up cocktail table in front of the furthest one. The room was small, with the stale tang of poor ventilation.

Not at all what he had expected from the meeting room of a squad in Konohagakure's elite special forces. "Seems… homey." the blonde commented for lack of a better polite description. By the rusty chuckle the jounin gave off, it seemed his commanding officer agreed.

Kakashi bent over behind the desk, rummaging about on the floor before reappearing with a small crate in his arms. The ANBU Captain carelessly tossed it on the desk, not reacting at the alarming creak it gave off before he tore into the container.

Similar black spandex to what the jounin was wearing emerged from the container, followed by a small chest plate and a pair of arm guards in a diminutive size. Bundling up the gear, Kakashi shoved them in a gaping Naruto's hands.

"What are you so surprised for? You knew you were joining ANBU. Or did you think you'd be allowed to prance around in orange still." Clucking with mock disappointment, Kakashi meandered over to the door. "Get changed. You've got two minutes."

Naruto tried. He really did. Wrestling the skin tight outfit on was easy enough, after the blonde got used to putting in the effort to stretch it. He was still struggling with the buckles for his chest plate when Kakashi reappeared.

The white and red painted mask peered down at him before the man wordlessly reached out and demonstrated how to properly clip up the chestplate. Naruto repressed a shiver. It was one thing to look up at Kakashi's masked face and see a smile under the black spandex. It was another to not see even an inch of skin and only witness an unchanging porcelain facade.

"Thanks." Naruto muttered into the silence, pulling uncomfortably at the undershirt. He folded his orange jumpsuit up with solemnity, fingers lingering over-long on the starched material. For so long the eye-catching suit had shouted to the world in a bid for attention. _Look at me! Here I am! This is me!_

Without the familiar weight of it around his shoulders, Uzumaki Naruto didn't really know who he was anymore. The blonde knew that everything in his old life was over. His cupboards would be cleaned out and replaced with food based on nutritional value. His well-worn orange suits would be trashed. No more sleeping in or pranks.

The life of a soldier.

"Trash it." the blonde whispered, voice twisting rough and hoarse with unshed tears. There was nothing left of that young hopeful genin that had once been. The boy with a smile that had sworn to become Hokage died on that damned bridge with Sakura-chan.

All that was left was him. A corpse in living skin, moving around long past his expiration date. There was no more Team Seven. No more rival Sasuke or lovely Sakura or wise Kakashi. Just him choking on his own sins and failures, drowning until the weight of it because he couldn't - he _couldn't-_

Wiry fingers threaded through his hair with surprising strength as Kakashi moved close, other hand coming up to brace the genin's heaving back as Naruto bent half over. Naruto was trembling and pale, taking gasping breaths with pinprick pupils and the warming roll of Kakashi's voice in his ear " _Breathe Naruto, just breathe."_

It took five minutes for the panic attack to subside, leaving Naruto sweaty and shaken with the taste of bile in the back of his mouth. He hadn't vomited, thankfully, and with a muttered "Thanks." the blonde wiped his burning eyes with the back of his hand.

Kakashi released him a heartbeat later, eyes unable to be seen through the dark hollows where the eyes of his mask were. ANBU masks only went one way, save those tailored to jutsu users that required ocular contact or open air to the eyes.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

It took the jounin a moment to realize the grinding sound in his ears was his own teeth. What the hell was the Council thinking? Naruto was falling to pieces right in front of him, and they wanted to press a boy still torn up about killing his own teammate into assassination and special tactics? Minato-sensei would expect better than this from the village he'd died for.

But orders were orders. Kakashi resolved to pick up gather the shattered pieces of Uzumaki Naruto before it was too late.

"Come on. I'll take you to the Commander to get your mask and call sign sorted out. Then I'll show you how to use that tattoo."

* * *

"You fail."

Glaring at Torune, Sasuke released the chakra flow to his feet and dropped down from the ceiling. The Uchiha wiped the sweat out of his eyes with a grimace. Three days of gruellingly running the same obstacle course and he'd yet to pass a single time. Only the improvements he noticed in himself kept the Ne recruit from exploding with frustration.

The Aburame stared at the new recruit for a moment through his dark goggles before pointing a finger up towards the ceiling. "You are forgetting to take into account the special capabilities and characteristics of the shinobi you're trying to fool. Such a tactic may have worked on the taichou, but my kikaichu are sensitive to chakra. With little other sensory input, I will notice their reactions. Consider utilizing a distraction to sneak past chakra sensitive individuals if chakra use cannot be avoided."

Clenching his jaw under his crow mask, Sasuke wordlessly nodded before spinning on his heel and retreating. For years he'd been in the Academy, spoiled by the taste of his own genius after almost instantly understanding any lesson. The tree climbing exercise in Nami no Kuni had been the first time he'd been forced to feel inadequate next to a peer since he'd been six years old.

Three days of intensive stealth exercises and training, and the Uchiha still felt like a bumbling fool compared to Fuu and Torune's comparative mastery.

Sasuke settled carefully into the dirt at the lowest point of the Den where metal gave way to soft earth, picking up a pebble and sliding it into his pocket. Once he'd stomped in after a poor run, tied up in frustrating, and almost immediately failed the next run when his zori tracked clumps of clay all over the facility.

Ascend from the lowest point of the Den to the highest while Ne's members were on minimal alert without using any special techniques to detect his movement or presence. Simple enough to say. Difficult in practice. So difficult that when he'd finally touched the halfway point three hours past, it had felt like a magnificent achievement.

"So this is the strength of ANBU members, huh?"

Waiting another four minutes for his heart rate to subside and settle the faint burning in his muscles, Sasuke activated the Sharingan with a trickle of chakra and began to slink forward. His kekkai genkai easily pierced through the shadows, not constrained by the mask that was invisible to the bearer when worn.

ANBU's masks were truly useful little devices. Powered by stored chakra, they sealed themselves to the face of the wearer and filtered every breath for most of the more common poisons employed by shinobi. The faintest brush of chakra against the front of the mask with his fingertip would let the lens over his eyes go clear to cast genjutsu if his Sharingan was fully mature.

Which it wasn't. With only two tomoe in each eye, Sasuke didn't have the capability to ensnare another in the enhanced illusions his clan's red eyes could produce. But even immature as they were, they greatly improved the power of his visual perception. Hence why he'd forced himself to keep them active as long as possible over the course of his training, learning to more finely allocate the minimal amount of energy needed to keep the Sharingan active.

That control was something Sasuke had to stumble through on his own, because there was no other Uchiha to show him save Itachi. And Sasuke would hardly accept a lesson from _him_ , even if his _murdering_ traitor of a brother offered one.

Sasuke halted next to a corner, the transition from clay to steel abrupt and jarring. Taking a slow, silent breath, the genin pulled out his hitai-ate. Inspecting the carefully polished surface for a moment, he held it up to his eye slits and then began to slide it inch by careful inch out from concealment. It was a poor man's mirror, but the spit-shined surface did its job.

Clear.

Moving up through the maze of corridors as quickly as he dared, the Uchiha kept a hand hovering a hair above the surface of the wall. It had taken him a day to realize he could use his hands just as well as his feet to stick to a surface, and keeping one near the wall would allow him to heave himself up and away if he encountered unexpected sentries.

Sentries of which the Rat-masked operative's ink animals were by far the most annoying. The tiny, spying little creatures were part of the reason why Sasuke had forced himself to constantly use his kekkai genkai. He couldn't avoid them or kill them to prevent them from reporting back to the odd boy if he couldn't see them.

The Uchiha lashed out with his tanto, destroying the coal-colored rat that skittered over his toes before hauling himself up to the ceiling, proceeding to flatten himself against the cold steel. He was close then - the animals never seemed to venture beyond a hundred metres from wherever his current opponent was.

Slowing his breathing, Sasuke took in a long breath and held it. Then he began to slither forward, suspended close to the roof of the tunnel like some sort of mutated human-gecko creature. The Uchiha passed over the black-haired agent, craning his head to fix red eyes on the boy's painting figure while ignoring the burning in his lungs.

Breath was noise, and noise was failure.

Failure was not an option.

Spots began to dance before his vision by the time Sasuke felt safe enough from detection to release the pent up carbon dioxide in his lungs slowly and carefully. Even a rushing sigh of relief could get him detected.

Then he dropped, landing in a crouch before rushing forward as quickly as he dared.

As he moved up and up through the maze of corridors that made up Ne's Den, Sasuke drew on every lesson that had been hammered into his tired mind over the last half a week.

When he saw Torune at the distant end of a corridor, he threw the pebble he'd picked up before beginning the run as far down a side hallway as he dared, waiting with baited breath as the goggled agent rushed on past after the noise.

Other agents he avoided by taking advantage of the information he'd gained over the course of his failed runs. A boy in a bear mask had a tendency to watch the ceilings, so the Uchiha stuck low to the ground and slithered on by. A man in a fox mask patrolled in the same area as a woman in an otter mask, crossing paths every now and then. By henging into the woman, he was able to slip past the man with the agent none the wiser.

Triumph began to build in his veins as Sasuke passed the halfway point, ascending from the maze of tunnels into the great chambers of The Den that were closest to the surface.

Slipping past a hunched agent in a ferret mask, Sasuke began to catalogue his surroundings with a frantic mind. A great bridge stretched out over an abyss, the faint glimmer of dark water barely visible at the bottom. Likely a training arena for Suiton jutsu.

The crow-masked recruit restrained a pant of exhaustion as he dove under the bridge in a flash of white and black, connecting to the bottom to move across the underside. Ne must have less members than he'd assumed, because although the location of where each patrolled seemed to change, he'd ceased to encounter new masks half a day past.

Sasuke stepped into a circular room with a thick rusty pillar in the middle. Bars were welded into the side with precision, forming an orderly ladder of handholds that extended to a dark open hatch in the ceiling. Double doors extended outward along the circular walls, opening into differing training rooms and further mazes. Evidently The Den was far bigger than he had realized. The air in the room was fresher than any other, and the Uchiha instinctively knew that he was close to the end.

Near to victory.

Fuu- _taichou_ was there with arms folded and standing guard near the base of the pillar. Sasuke repressed a sneer at the honourific, as the man had refused to teach him anything unless he'd addressed him with 'proper respect'. Gold eyes burnt along the walls and ceiling, flickering with such frequency that Sasuke knew with a sinking heart there was no way to slowly sneak on by.

There was only one choice.

 _("You will be familiar with this jutsu." Fuu had said solemnly, standing over a sweating and panting Uchiha after eighteen hours of constant stealth course runs. Long fingers demonstrated a single seal. "Direct the chakra reinforcement to the muscles of your limbs. Quadricep. Calf. Bicep. Tricep. Twist it like_ so _before application…")_

Bringing a shaking pair of hands up, Sasuke swallowed drily as he forced his chakra to his limbs in a clumsy-but-familiar rush. _Tiger seal to initiate_. He'd been too stubborn to try touching the familiar dizzying rush. Too caught up in staying away from thorny remembrances and his own pride to bow to need.

But Sasuke wanted to win.

 _Shunshin._

Sharingan interpreted the rush of colours that flowed by him perfectly. The crimson eyes split apart what would be an incomprehensible mess to anyone else into sharp, clear cut images that he could perceive and react to. Only an Uchiha could steer the movement of the shunshin safely. Any other shinobi could only move in clear, linear lines lest they risk collision.

The first time Sasuke dove into the beautiful chaos of the body flicker had been when he was three years old. Still chubby cheeked, giggling at Shisui-nee when his cousin had scooped him up with a booming laugh and decided to show the toddler something neat.

 _("Don't tell your mother." Shisui-nii had winked, thick lashes threading together over the red eyes that the shinobi world associated with_ danger _,_ _but that little Sasuke had only associated with_ home _. With all the solemnity he could muster while a fist was shoved into his grinning mouth, little Sasuke had promised. Shisui had shown him what it meant to fly_.)

Sasuke _flew_ , dark form cutting through the air with a near silent hiss as he blurred beyond the ability of almost any shinobi perceived. Passing over Fuu with the Ne Captain none the wiser to his presence, Sasuke fell out of the shunshin and grabbed onto a bar near the top of the ladder desperately.

His momentum almost carried him right on past. But with chakra applied to his hands and a strain of burning effort in his core, Sasuke silently settled onto the pillar like a perching bat. The inside of his mask was wet - _Sweat, not tears_ he swore - as the Uchiha began to climb.

Passing through the dark hole, Sasuke moved up and up and _up_ into light. The heaviness of the earth surrounding passed away, and then with a final heave Sasuke was pulled out of a hatch in the floor into the basement of a house.

"Congratulations."

Sasuke's head snapped around in shock as Danzo revealed himself. The old councilor was sitting cross-legged before a low table, papers spread out in front of him with a cup of tea steaming near his visible hand.

"You have managed to attain the skill of an average chuunin in stealth. If any mission comes up to require you to infiltrate and steal information from the typical paper pusher that staffs the Record Department, I expect that you will succeed."

That was it? Sasuke scowled. So much damn effort, and for what? To be considered equal to a mere desk jockey? Not even held on the level of a chuunin in the field? Frustration bubbled inside of him, and the Uchiha opened his mouth to demand _more_.

Danzo anticipated him.

"Return to the Den. Inform Fuu on the way down to shift the difficulty of the course and begin training you to reach the skill in stealth Konoha typically expects from its jounin."

Thus having dismissed the new recruit, the bandaged man turned his attention back to the papers spread out before him.

As Sasuke descended back into the earth, Danzo listened to the sounds of the Uchiha boy fade away. The stealth of a chuunin in three days was… impressive. Admittedly, the boy hadn't been trained in the evasion aspects of stealth, or how to eliminate his tracks, or how to function in any environment that was not the interior of an urban building. But to grow swiftly enough to be considered equal to a shinobi of a higher rank in a controlled setting over so short a period?

Sasuke's skills would be acceptable for the next stage of his training in less time than previously anticipated.

The boy was a very special case, too old to go through the typical ROOT experience of emotional conditioning, and too important of a political figure to have him disappear for an extended period of time. However, Sasuke's natural ability and intelligence would serve to compensate for years of wasted potential, lost in the typical Academy _softness_ promoted by Hiruzen.

Once the Uchiha was able to sufficiently disguise his movements, the true training would commence.

* * *

( **AN - White):** Ahh, 6000 words.

 _Canon Divergence_ \- This story is more like an AU that's very similar to canon with some big differences. I wanted to get away from Madara as the root of all evil in the world and attribute more misfortune and conflict to human nature and the military village system rather than the result of decades of careful manipulation by one dude that can't even leave the cave he lives in. It takes a great deal of the gravity off of (insert plot spoilers here) if we learn that Madara has been pulling an Aizen. Does he, and by extension Obito, have a great deal of influence in this world? Absolutely. However, there is no mind-numbingly overdone manipulation. Yagura is simply a piece of shit, not a Sharingan-hax-slave to Madara.

 **(AN - Ajax):** Danzo's choice of Sasuke in lieu of pressing the case for his 'custody' of Naruto was not random. Hiruzen lost a lot of face and political capital in the aftermath of the Wave mission, be he is _still_ Hokage, and undeniably has a personal interest in Naruto. Danzo would have a much harder time sinking his hooks into Naruto, and in doing so he would make a powerful enemy in Hiruzen.

Sasuke doesn't have an emotional bond with Hiruzen, and is therefore much more accessible. Also, not only does Danzo now effectively control the Uchiha bloodline, but he also gained a significant piece of leverage over Uchiha Itachi, who Danzo certainly does not trust. That said, Danzo doesn't trust many to begin with.


	4. Fourth Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and we make no profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title - Deel wit it**

 **(AN - Ajax):** Keep the momentum rolling! Enjoy!

* * *

Kakashi sat straight-backed in a rather uncomfortable wooden chair as he endured the unswerving attention of four of the most important people in Konohagakure. Sweat beaded on the back of his neck in instinctive reaction to the surge of anxiety. The Hatake considered his relationship with his superiors to be positive, but that didn't mean that a summons from the Council would be greeted with easy cheer.

"Uzumaki Naruto's mental stability is still in question, but he remains one of the most valuable assets to the village," Utatane Koharu stated plainly. "Unfortunately, Hiruzen's plan in attempting to allow the boy to maintain as normal a childhood as possible has obviously failed."

The Hokage's expression became, if possible, even more grim than it had before.

"Furthermore," she continued, "You will be retaining command over the child, and certain expectations will be put into place as to how you will handle him. I remind you that you are no longer a jounin-sensei, and he is no longer a typical genin student. Different measures will have to be put into place."

At that point, Mitokado Homura chimed in. "We know all about your typical procedure while you were the jounin-sensei of Team Seven, but it will in no way be tolerated at this point. It has been decided that Naruto is to be fashioned into a weapon for Konoha, as he should have been originally."

"Kakashi-kun," the Hokage addressed him pointedly, face devoid of all joviality that it normally possessed. "We cannot afford to let Naruto be treated as he would have been before the Wave incident. There will be no room for error. Despite my normal leniency, I will not permit your habitual lateness, nor your feigned attention on Jiraiya-kun's literature. He is to be trained, and without the unfortunately lackadaisical approach that you've been applying to him thus far. If you fail to heed this warning, I will be forced to remove Naruto from your custody and place him in the hands of someone who may treat him far differently than you would. I presume that you would not find that situation to your liking, am I correct?" The aged shinobi oozed authority and strength, reaffirming his position as the most powerful man in the village.

"Hai, Hokage-sama".

"To my understanding, Naruto remains largely incompetent in regards to the basic ninja arts. Your role in Squad Gamma-3 as captain will be to improve Naruto's abilities in that regard, as well as to keep tabs on his psychological well-being. He will not only be instructed by Jiraiya in the usage of his bijuu, but will also be seeing a Yamanaka psychologist to aid in the process of maintaining his mental health."

"I understand."

"Kakashi," the Hokage said, a bit softer with his tone. "I do not like the situation any better than you do. However, I would prefer that Naruto enjoys a measure of stability by staying in your care. Please do not force my hand in this matter."

Danzo rapped his hands authoritatively on the wooden table at which the four sat. "As a final point, Hatake-san, Uchiha Sasuke will also be placed on this squad. You remain the best candidate in the village to instruct him in terms of the Sharingan, and it would prove most useful for the child to benefit from the instruction you will be giving to Naruto at this time."

Kakashi's face contorted slightly under his mask while he considered the ramifications of having the two boys on the same team again, but he remained utterly silent in the face of the council.

"What you may not know, Hatake-san, is that we will be expecting these two boys to compete in the upcoming Chuunin Examinations."

At that, Kakashi stood up abruptly with an exclaimed, "You cannot be serious!". Even had Naruto remained well-adjusted and had Sasuke preserved the tenuously stabilizing friendship that had been forming between them, Kakashi would have given serious thought before entering them into the Chuunin Exams.

With Naruto falling apart at the seams and Sasuke's fragile bonds to the village destroyed while in their infancy, it was entirely possible that the deaths that sometimes came out of the Chuunin Exams could break them completely.

With a deadly stare, Danzo hissed icily, "Sit _down_ , ANBU operative Hound-One. You will _not_ question the orders of your superiors again."

Kakashi immediately followed suit, seething inwardly. "I humbly apologize for my outburst, Danzo-sama. Please continue."

"The blow to Konoha's reputation would be immense without the showcasing of the 'Last Uchiha'. The loss of the clan weakened the village significantly in public opinion, and it is imperative that the last member of the clan left to us be shown as a strong boy with potential. The appearance of a jinchuuriki would be a boon to Konoha's performance in the examinations as well. I _expect_ that they will be prepared."

Locking his eyes directly onto the sole visible eye of the war hawk, Kakashi nodded sharply. "It will be as you command."

* * *

Kakashi woke with a gasp, heart thumping erratically in his chest and Obito's eye sputtering in fitful circles. The jounin stared at the ceiling for a long moment, before tracking his gaze over to the digital clock that shone glaringly red in the black night.

0256.

Three hours of sleep. How _wonderful_.

Dragging himself out of his fuuton with a low groan, Kakashi rubbed a hand over the bags hanging beneath his eyes before stumbling towards the washroom. There was no point in trying to get any more sleep for the night. He never could rest after a nightmare.

 _Obito_.

 _Rin_.

 _Minato-sensei_.

 _Sakura_.

Kakashi threw himself into the shower, barely remembering to strip before twisting the taps. Resting his head against the pale tile of the stall, the jounin ignored the icy burn of cold water on his back that slipped away when his shower began to warm up.

With the perfect memory of a Sharingan, Kakashi typically got to see the worst moments of his life played in a highlight reel through the course of a night. Obito getting crushed to death. Minato-sensei bleeding out from the hole in his gut, and the seal burnt into his son's skin that had cost him his life. Rin as she made him the instrument of her self-sacrifice to protect Konoha, impaling herself on his outstretched arm. And most recently, watching Sakura's life exit her tiny, fragile body over and over on that damned bridge, with the thick snakes of her intestines hanging out of her gut.

This time however, Kakashi had the chance to shove his hand through Rin, who had promptly turned into Minato sensei and accused Kakashi with a gurgling breath of failing to care for his son. Then he was nine years old again, watching Obito gasping and growing pink hair with grey gore crawling out from his ruptured belly.

What an _original_ bit of horror to brighten up his evening.

Snorting with bitter amusement, the jounin lathered a handful of soap over the roughness of his stubble and began to shave without the aid of a mirror. "What a way to see the future together, Obito."

The silver strands of his hair hung into his eyes after Kakashi stepped back out of the shower and toweled the moisture from his head. A week back in the forces and he was still struggling with the lack of having a constant hitai-ate to keep his fringe out of his face.

Slipping into his ANBU gear, Kakashi left the distinctive chest armour and mask behind as he moved over the village. The rushing wind quickly dried the remaining moisture from his form in a cold blast, and with a final leap the ANBU Captain settled down before the Memorial Stone.

Kakashi squinted up at the fat gibbous moon before turning his Sharingan on the surface of the stone. It didn't matter if the moon was empty or full, the dojutsu could pierce the shadows to engrave the names listed on the stone over and over in his memory.

 _Namikaze Minato._

 _Uzumaki Kushina._

 _Uchiha Obito._

 _Nohara Rin._

 _Haruno Sakura._

…Hatake Sakumo. As always, Kakashi found his gloved fingertips unwillingly tracing the letters of his father's name last. For so much of his childhood, he'd been drowning in his resentment of the man. Resenting Konoha's Shiroi Kiba for failing his mission. Resenting him for taking his own life, and leaving his son alone.

But the years had grown long, and Kakashi had tasted the bitter pain of loss over and over again. Swearing to never fail in a mission, and then failing. Swearing to watch over his friends, and then kneeling helplessly as Obito was crushed to death. Promising to protect Rin with the last gift Obito had given to him, and then turning around and murdering her with his own hands. Standing by Minato and Kushina, making the solemn oath that enough was enough - he would protect those fragile lives and lose nothing else. But he'd failed in that too. Sakura had practically been Rin born again, and he'd been able to do nothing but watch helplessly as she was torn apart.

He kept breaking his promises. Time and time and time again. How many times had Kakashi stood before the Memorial Stone, taking in the cut characters of Obito's name and filling his voice with all the burning passion he could stoke from the embers of soul? Swearing to things that he didn't believe in that _this time_ would be different?

This time, could Obito watch through his eye from beyond the grave and be proud of what Hatake Kakashi achieved with his gift?

"I keep breaking my promises to you. Forgive me."

Obito's eye began to burn, the crystal clarity granted by the Sharingan blurring with salt water. A hot trail of liquid seared down the scarred line of Kakashi's cheek, soaking unheeded into the mask covering the lower half of his face.

The Uchiha boy had been stronger than him, then. Kakashi knew that if Obito had lived, he would have been stronger than Sakumo's son even now. Obito had been passionate, and righteous with an unyielding heart that Kakashi tried to emulate to this day, and routinely failed to measure up to.

When Obito had decided to push Kakashi out of the way and give up his life to protect his teammate, he'd committed an immense sin. It was forgivable, like all of Obito's faults, because Obito had been sincerely good in a way that Kakashi never could be. It had been the dark-haired boy's inherent nobility that had driven him to lay down his life for the smart-mouthed newly minted jounin.

But that sacrifice was a damned waste. Obito could have protected Rin. With his two hands and that powerful spirit, Obito could have kept her safe. Obito may have even been able to keep sensei and Kushina alive. Naruto might have grown up safe and happy and loved. Instead Obito had decided to die for _him_.

Everything that Obito could have done or protected or achieved had been burnt away in an instant. Surrendered for the sake of puerile, weak-minded jounin that couldn't even be bothered to attempt to keep his friends alive without Obito's words whipping at his soul like chains of ice, and then even when he _did_ try, he failed miserably every time.

It shouldn't have been Obito that had died choking on his own blood beneath that boulder while Kakashi watched.

It should have been him.

* * *

Scratching an itch on the back of his blond head, Uzumaki Naruto whipped off his mask and tossed it down on the cocktail table before flopping onto one of the musty couches that were placed in the office assigned to Squad Gamma-3.

The mask's eyeholes seemed to leer at him, dark slits over a curved, red-painted mouth, and Naruto turned away with a shudder. _Otter-Eight_. His callsign. His new name. His new _identity_.

It still sent a rush of bile surging up the back of his throat to think about how much his life had changed in the past couple weeks. Murdering Sakura like the beast he was, then travelling back to Konoha in the silent company of his sensei and Sasuke, and finally getting sentenced to service in ANBU a week past.

Strangely, it wasn't all… bad. No one acknowledged him outside of Kakashi, but rarely did ANBU acknowledge _anyone_ outside of their own squads. It wasn't personal disdain. He was simply on the outside of any particular squad, with everyone else. United by isolation.

Kakashi had been surprisingly patient with him as well, which was more than Naruto thought he deserved. The jounin had shown him how to form the hand seals and mould the chakra that would force his ANBU tattoo to fire off specific default messages. Not once had the man lost patience, even as Naruto clumsily fumbled his attempts over and over.

The ANBU tattoo itself was an interesting little thing. So small, yet so complex. It was apparently based off of one of the Yamanaka clan's jutsu, converted into a fuuinjutsu matrix and adapted to be used by shinobi that lacked the clan's bloodline. Naruto wondered if Ino was learning techniques as useful from her family, or if she'd already surpassed the limited techniques non-Yamanaka could learn.

Metal squealed faintly as the door swung inward on slightly rusted hinges.

Naruto turned his head sharply upon noticing the new arrivals to the room, noticing a familiar dog-masked ANBU agent, and a much shorter one wearing a crow mask behind him.

"Yo, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto raised his hand at the silver-haired man.

He returned a nod after removing his mask in a concise motion, proceeding to nudge the dark-haired agent beside him.

Naruto visibly flinched when he saw his former teammate's face staring impassively at him. Only a small twinge of emotion ghosted Sasuke's face, betraying his attempted apathy.

The blond hadn't expected to see Sasuke again. Or at least, not for a long time. Sakura's death - the blood and monstrosity of it hung so heavily between them that Naruto not only didn't _expect_ to see the Uchiha boy, he didn't _want_ to. It made any effort to avoid his memories through getting lost in the new world of working with ANBU impossible. Naruto's sins were staring into him, wearing the cold black eyes of a boy he'd once secretly called his friend.

"Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke will be joining ANBU squad Gamma-3. His callsign is Crow-Five." Kakashi stated plainly, eyes focused on his blond charge. "Follow me."

Kakashi turned and exited the room briskly, leaving Naruto floundering off the couch in an attempt to catch up while Sasuke followed behind the jounin without sparing a glance for Naruto. Just as Naruto didn't want to acknowledge the memories in Sasuke's face, it appeared Sasuke didn't want to recognize the memories in Naruto's either.

Catching up to his squad after quickly grabbing his mask and other pieces of equipment, Naruto followed Kakashi as he turned into a small armory.

"You can leave most of your equipment here for the day, like your armor and mask. I'll show you two how to store your supplies later on, but for now we'll use this room. We don't need to associate our public identities with our masks unless strictly necessary."

Kakashi paused before looking intently at the two boys before him.

"What are you waiting for? Meet me at Training Ground 87 in five minutes."

* * *

Kakashi sped gracefully over the rooftops of Konoha, a blur to most people on the streets.

What a mess.

Kakashi ground his teeth furiously while making his way to the training ground. Attempting to glue together the shattered pieces of his former team would be challenging to say the least.

Sasuke seemed even more reserved than usual on the surface, but emotions simmered underneath his attempted mask. Naruto on the other hand was more despondent than ever, despite his best efforts.

It was painful to see flashes of the bright kid Naruto used to be, slowly being crushed by the weight of his guilt. Even with Kakashi trying to prod the boy, attempting to draw him out of his newly-formed shell, he wasn't very responsive.

Landing lightly on the muddy banks of a lake in the training ground, Kakashi paused for a moment to take in his new surroundings. Walking over to a nearby tree, he adroitly jumped onto a thick branch of a nearby tree, swinging his legs almost childishly.

Sasuke was the first to arrive, of course. Strangely enough, Kakashi had never seen the Uchiha so light on his feet, with a newfound mastery over his body.

 _Kakashi_ certainly hadn't taught Sasuke to move like that.

Without any worded exchange, Kakashi continued to sit non-threateningly in the tree, while Sasuke merely stood with his eyes in the direction of the Roost. He supposed they'd start with water-walking, and see what happened from there.

Kakashi had endured about an hour of joint lecture from the council on exactly how to educate his charges, despite his protests that he knew what he was doing. Sarutobi had shot him an accusatory glare, reiterating that his previous methods would no longer be acceptable. A healthy dose of killing intent that reminded Kakashi exactly why the man was Hokage didn't help, either.

The silver-haired man was given their official decision on how Naruto especially was to be treated, but Kakashi had already guessed what they were going to say.

Kakashi was abruptly yanked out of his line of thought as a blond-haired mess crashed into ground clumsily, tufts of yellow hair sticking out oddly.

"Naruto, I believe I said to take off not just your body armor and standard issue equipment, but also your _mask._ "

At those words, Naruto paled considerably, mumbling out an apologies as he carefully set his mask down against a nearby tree.

Sighing lightly, Kakashi dropped down from his perch to a position directly in front of his two underlings. Both stood up straight, one face hopeful and the other barely concealing it's annoyance.

"Are you teaching us a new jutsu Kakashi sensei? Maybe I can learn how to make a massive fireball, or electrocute someone with a bolt of-"

"Enough, Naruto. We have had this conversation, and I will not be tolerating those antics anymore. We don't have room for childishness, especially now that you are an ANBU agent."

Naruto's face immediately fell into a dejected mold, before the previous week's training kicked in and he attempted to adopt a neutral expression. Kakashi swallowed the bubble of guilt that had instantly simmered up from his gut at having the crush the boy's display of innocent enthusiasm.

At least Naruto was _trying_. Perhaps Kakashi should could him some slack.

"I'm not going to lie to either of you in this situation, and I'll tell you exactly what we're doing here. I, along with one or two others, will be preparing the two of you for the Chunin Exams."

Both boys' faces perked up noticeably at that, but Sasuke quickly quashed his open-mouthed expression.

"The third member of your team has not yet been decided, but I will coordinate with the Hokage to insure that your teamwork with that third member will reach an acceptable level for the exams."

Kakashi strode to the edge of the water, staring out into the lake with hands shoved into his pockets. "The two of you contribute significantly to the image of the village. Your success in the exams has become a priority, so I will be helping you maximize your abilities in an effort to secure a positive outcome in the exams. Our first lesson will be water-walking."

Kakashi proceeded to step calmly onto the surface of the water, walking about 20 steps before turning around. Even before turning around, the jounin had no problem estimating the anticipation on Sasuke's face, and the wonder on Naruto's. "This will be very similar to the tree-walking exercise, but it requires even more control. I'd like the two of you to try this now, and if you continue to fail I'll have you practice some basic chakra control techniques."

With twin expressions of determination, the two marched expectantly out onto the initial stretch of water before promptly losing control and falling face first. Angrily scooping mud off of his face, Sasuke began to make a second attempt, and Naruto followed suit.

Laughing to himself quietly, Kakashi waited a quarter of an hour before calling an end to the absurdity. "Enough. The two of you are pathetic, do you remember nothing you learned from when I taught you how to walk up trees?"

Sparing a sharp look towards his two sopping, irritated students, Kakashi beckoned them over to a large oak tree. "Watch carefully."

Kakashi stepped extremely carefully up the tree, slowly placing one foot in front of the other. "What exactly am I doing with my feet, Naruto?"

"Um… You're sending chakra to your feet?"

"Well, that's correct, but not all of it. Sasuke?"

"You're making sure you don't send too much chakra through your feet, because that would blast through the tree. At the same time, you can't use too little, or you would fall off," Sasuke clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"That would be correct. I'm showing you this because that's exactly what you have to keep in mind for the water-walking exercise, but to a greater extent than walking up a solid surface." Kakashi hopped lightly off of the tree, and quickly reassumed his position on the lake.

"The chakra output that's required to solidify the water under your feet is significantly more than what's required to merely adhere to an already solid surface." Striding over the clear surface, Kakashi consciously focused his attention on the subtle movements the muscles in his legs and feet. "Further, even after you solidify the water beneath your feet, it doesn't become a _proper_ surface to stand on. It's more akin to sand, which constantly shifts beneath your feet and requires you to correct for that to keep your balance, all the while maintaining a steady flow of chakra from the soles of your feet. Water-walking is an order of magnitude more difficult than tree-walking, so it will take some time to properly master."

The jounin stared at Sasuke with a meaningful quirk to his eyebrow. "So keep that in mind and don't lose yourself to frustration. Now hop to it!"

* * *

Naruto turned on his heel, pacing back from one end of the waiting room to the other. A pretty brunette clerk watched him from behind her desk, but the Uzumaki boy was too caught up in his own frustrations to pay her any attention.

He couldn't believe that Hokage-jiji had _ordered_ him to see a shrink. Ordered him to meet with a psychologist three times a week. As if Naruto were a weepy pregnant woman or some balding, impotent old man with self-confidence issues.

Blue eyes flashed with irritation as a middle-aged civilian woman waddled out from the psychologist's were the kind of people that needed to see a psychologist. Not proud shinobi of the leaf, or sinners that were willing to take their due.

Not only did Naruto feel that his nightmares and poorly slept nights weren't a big enough deal to condemn him to three hours a week under the eyes of some pansy guy that wanted to talk about _feelings_ , but the blond felt they were right. It was part of his penance for... murdering Sakura, and allowing the beast inside of him to run freely beneath the tanned expanse of his skin. Naruto didn't deserve to sleep like a baby after what he'd done, so how dare the Hokage try to take that away from him!

"Uzumaki Naruto?"

The voice that drew his attention was timid, and Naruto turned a curious gaze towards the secretary that had softly called his name. Her dark eyes instantly skittered away from his face, staring somewhere above and to the right of his form. A feeling like sour milk curdled in his gut.

So, she was another one that knew the secret of his existence then. Another one that was rejecting him without knowing the truth from the lies as far as the weight of his crimes.

The general irritation that had been plaguing him all morning mingled with the sting of rejection, and Naruto was too tired to give a damn about his happy facade. The jinchuuriki's lips peered back into a sneer, and he barked a rude "What?"

The young woman gave a faint meep of surprise. "Yamanaka-hakase is ready to see you."

Clenching his fists, Naruto shoved them in his pocket before slouching. Every step he took towards the open door seemed heavier and heavier, and by the time he stood next to the embossed letters YAMANAKA YOSUKE with the smaller line of _Clinical Psychologist_ beneath it, the blond was never more sure that he did _not_ want to be there.

Yosuke was a man with kindly eyes. Warm green orbs blinked at the blond genin from behind a pair of rectangle spectacles. The features of his patrician face and strong, square jaw reminded Naruto of the faint memories he could recall of the few times he'd seen Ino's father at the Academy. Shaggy wheat-coloured hair reached halfway down the man's neck in haphazard spikes, just brushing the top of the well-tailored navy blue suit the psychologist was wearing.

The genuine empathetic warmth that filled the man's face threw Naruto for a loop.

"Thank you for coming to see me, Uzumaki-san." Yosuke's voice resembled a quiet, soothing melody, and the Uzumaki reluctantly found himself relaxing from the mere sound of it. "Why don't you take a seat on that couch right over there? I'm sure it would be more comfortable than standing."

Wordlessly working his jaw in an effort to come up with some reply, Naruto obeyed the man's suggestion in a silent state of befuddlement. The anger was still there, but it was smothered beneath the instinctive desire to reach out to the offered kindness and implicit empathy.

 _What the hell?_

* * *

"Kurotsuchi! Get me some ice!"

A girl with short-cropped black hair mumbled out something that sounded suspiciously like, "Lazy old man," but it wasn't heard by the Sandaime Tsuchikage. Or at least the old man didn't visibly react.

Onoki sat in a comfortable, high-raised chair that forced his legs to dangle a considerable height off of the ground. He smirked as he watched a pair of chuunin furiously flying through paperwork on his behalf, only pausing to ask questions about matters superseding their authority.

Without much warning, another chuunin opened the door briskly, blanching when he realized he had walked in without knocking.

Onoki sighed as he watched the stammering chunin apologize and try to reenter the room, before barking out, "Boy, I assume that whatever you have to say is important if you saw fit to just waltz in here. Stop your sputtering and spit it out!"

"Of course, Tsuchikage-sama," the chuunin bowed deeply, red in the face. "I have a missive from Konohagakure regarding their hosting of the Chuunin Exams, and another letter from the Raikage."

"Hmph. Hand them here." After receiving two small envelopes, Onoki proceeded to shoo him away with a small hand.

Kurotsuchi returned with a large sack of ice, a look of boredom and annoyance plastered across her face. How disgraceful.

"Give it here, girl. And watch your attitude, I am not in the mood to put up with your childish antics today." Pressing the bag of ice to his aging hip with a sigh of satisfaction, Onoki watched with a small smile as discipline won out over his granddaughter's youthful tantrums.

"What are you two looking at? I didn't bring you up to my office to laze off, get to work!" Onoki glowered for effect at the two chuunin working in the room, who now flew through the paperwork with renewed vigor and quickly-beating hearts.

Onoki tore open the first of the envelopes, and found a rather prissy message detailing the specifics on the Konohagakure Chunin Exams. "Phaw. You'd think they could pick someone other than one of those old crones to draft this stuff."

"You say that like you aren't one yourself, grandpa," Kurotsuchi said with a small smirk, leaning against a wall across the room.

Onoki's eyes narrowed and a menacing scowl stretched across his face before responding, "You're a hundred years too early to be making those kinds of comments, you brat. I'll admit to being old as soon as there's someone stronger than me around this village," Onoki snorted derisively. "And I doubt that's happening any time soon, so I'd watch that tone!"

Onoki flagged down Kitsuchi, who stood impassively near one of the windows of the Tsuchikage's tower, as well as motioning impatiently for one of his decrepit advisors to join the conversation.

"Well, I'm inclined to say no to this little 'invitation' of Konoha's on the spot! I'm sure that the Leaf and Sand are just trying to take a closer look at our shinobi and gauge our strength."

Kitsuchi rumbled, "That may be true, Tsuchikage-sama, but it may be in our best interest to go attend the event. I know of a few teams that are perfect choices, and wouldn't hesitate to showcase their worth. Especially by smashing some Konoha nin," he added, almost as an afterthought.

"I'm not so sure," his advisor Komon replied as he adjusted his glasses. "It puts our shinobi in a great deal of risk to send them to Konoha, deep into enemy territory. Perhaps it would be better to ignore the invitation entirely?"

"Phaw, I'm not one to hold a grudge against anyone, including those leafy bastards. If I was, I would have killed half the lot of you by now for your incompetency!" Onoki glared around the room menacingly, before returning to a pensive expression. "But I do see your point. I'd like to look at this second letter before coming to a conclusion, however."

Onoki proceeded to rip open the second envelope with a flick of his finger, drawing out the enclosed document, and reading with a narrowed gaze. He bellowed out a chuckle upon finishing the page, and handed it to his advisor in amusement.

"It looks like Unruly Ei has decided to take a stance! How interesting. Kumo nin are going to be sent to Konoha as a surprise addition, how thoughtful of him to warn me of his actions." The corner of Onoki's mouth upturned deviously. "And how polite of a method to give me such little choice in the matter."

Kitsuchi frowned, "Tsuchikage-sama?"

Onoki let out another chuckle. "It seems that we'll be joining this edition of the Chunin Exams; you'll get your way in this regard Kitsuchi. We can't afford to be seen as the only ones _not_ going to this exam, not with Kumo sending their prized students as well!"

"Kirigakure will presumably also be abdicating their position in this exam, Tsuchikage-sama," Komon supplied helpfully. "I'm sure we wouldn't be seen as weak if we chose not to join, it's merely a point of pride."

"I will reiterate, I am not one to hold on to past grievances like an old woman to some unfortunate cat! I will not tolerate our shinobi endangering inter-village peace for petty revenge! Regardless, my hand is forced, we will be entering the exams," Onoki stated as he tweaked his nose. "Between the Last Uchiha, the Kazekage's son, and Kumogakure's little 'wonder trio' we cannot afford to be left in the dust. I will show them Iwagakure's strength!"

Everyone in the large office perked up at Onoki's words, crinkles around everyone's mouths betraying impassivity.

Kitsuchi broke the short pause with narrowed eyes, "But Tsuchikage-sama, why would Kumogakure decide to enter _this_ examination? They've refused those under Konoha and Suna's purview since the Third War."

Onoki waved a hand impatiently at the burly jounin while rereading the messages. "Don't tell me you _believed_ that meathead of a Raikage when he used protecting his village's jutsu as an excuse! A pathetic lie, really."

The master of kekkei touta winced as he rubbed his side, leaning back into his chair. "No, Kumogakure can't afford to hide in the shadows any longer. This… this competition will be a true showcase to the world. Ei can't justify merely watching the other villages leap for each other's throats any longer. Not if he doesn't want his whole village to look like it's full of weaklings!"

"Kurotsuchi!" Onoki thundered, his granddaughter snapping to attention with sudden shock.

"Hai, Tsuchikage-sama!"

Onoki flung himself out of his chair, grimacing at the flaring pain in his hip and back. Waving off a relative horde of would-be helpers, Onoki growled, "Get away from me you layabouts, I'm speaking here!"

Onoki walked towards the side of his desk and pulled out a sheaf of papers, looking them over with a, "Hmph," signing them with a flourish.

Handing them upwards to Kitsuchi with an extended arm, Onoki walked over to Kurotsuchi and poked her in the stomach. " _You_ will be among those going to Konohagakure." Mounting excitement grew in her eyes as she waited for the old man to finish. "Gather your team and let them know what's going on, Kitsuchi will be tagging along as your sensei. I'm expecting a great deal; you will _not_ let me down in this regard, understood?" Onoki wagged a finger at the girl.

Quivering with anticipation, Kurotsuchi barely kept control over her emotions as she nodded fervently, "Of course, Grandpa!" Leaning down to give him a quick embrace, she sped off out of the door before letting out an audible whoop.

Onoki sighed with feigned annoyance, before trotting back to the center of the office. "You, out. Go look after Kurotsuchi or something, I don't know," Onoki pointed an accusatory finger at Kitsuchi, who recoiled slightly before running after the girl. "And _you two!_ What did I say! I don't pay you to sit around here like buffoons! Do my thrice-cursed paperwork, damnit, and wipe those smiles off your faces!"

* * *

 **(AN - White):** This chapter clocks in at 5700 words _exactly_.

 **(AN - Ajax):** I especially loved writing that scene in Iwagakure, I was grinning like a damned madman the entire way through as I pictured Onoki trotting around, bossing everyone around with impunity, despite being several feet shorter than most of them. One of the reasons I really wanted to include the Iwagakure scene is to really humanize that element of the shinobi world that we really don't often see in either canon or fanfiction. It is my personal belief that no one is genuinely evil in the Naruto universe (Except maybe Kaguya and Black Zetsu, those little bastards), and I will most certainly not be demonizing any characters à la typical bashing fanfiction.


	5. Fifth Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and we make no profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title - Weaseltime**

 **(AN - Ajax):** I'll keep this short, hope you enjoy the chapter. Big things are in store...

* * *

Twisting on his heel, Sasuke moved forward and down with one hand firmly wrapped around the hilt of his standard issue ANBU tanto. The Uchiha pulled the sharp edge of the blade through a swift uppercut, bifurcating an imaginary enemy from groin to chin.

Sweat beaded along his temples, clinging cold and slick to the matted strands of Sasuke's dark hair as the genin worked through a kata. It had been a month since the broken remnants of Team Seven had limped back through the gates of Konoha with one member ashes in an urn and the other three a motley crew of walking corpses.

Reversing his grip on the hilt in half a beat, Sasuke spun about to deflect an imaginary blade before licking out to dig a shallow groove across the chest of his mental opponent. The shadow play continued as the Uchiha moved through the motions of the kata at a steady speed - too slow was stilted and useless, where too fast prevented him from ensuring there were no mistakes in his stances.

The Sharingan was incredibly useful when it came to analyzing almost any style of martial combat, and the ability of replication cut his learning curve significantly. But the Uchiha clan's kekkei genkai didn't grant him the muscle memory to use the copied techniques flawlessly. Sasuke had to work to engrave the techniques into his flesh until they became instinctual.

Sasuke drove the flat point of the tanto into the gut of an imagined foe ( _and wasn't that entirely useless? What purpose did the flat point even have?_ ), finishing off the kata with a controlled exhale. He'd stuck with deep and constant breaths all through the motions to improve his stamina.

Blinking the sweat out of his eyes, Sasuke slid the short blade into its sheathe behind his shoulder. He'd taken to wearing the blade everywhere two and a half weeks past, growing ever more conscious that his body was slowly being sharpened into a finely tuned weapon.

Itachi had never been closer, but Sasuke had never been as aware as he was at the moment of the sheer gulf that existed between his traitor brother and himself. Uchiha Itachi was… _legendary_. Torune could vanish from Sasuke's senses when he wished to, and the Aburame was always aware of when Sasuke was near, even if he pretended not to be. Fuu moved as part of his blade, all powerfully lethal like a coiled jungle cat. Kakashi cradled lightning in his hand at a gesture, summoning deadly force and taming it with ease. Even the dobe had inhuman reserves, getting up again and again and again, never seeming to run dry.

Itachi could best all of them with the same ease that the man would use to merely breathe.

Shuffling along to the Den's shower room, Sasuke stripped his sweat soaked gear and threw it in an unkempt pile in the corner before stepping beneath the warm spray. The wet heat soothed the painful twinges in his well-exercised muscles, and with a sigh Sasuke pressed his forehead against the grey-tiled wall.

Ne was better than what he'd hoped for when Danzo had shown up in front of his gates like a puttering busybody. Sasuke improved by increments, day-by-day inching his way closer to his goal. He hit harder. He moved faster. He fought smarter. And far after having mastered the water-walking exercise Kakashi had taught Naruto and him, Sasuke had deeper and more controlled wells of chakra to draw on. His Goukakyuu had never burnt larger or brighter. Even Naruto had managed a reluctant sound of admiration at the sight the last time they'd sparred.

Naruto was… confusing, to say the least. On the one hand, the blonde jinchuuriki was a murderer. He'd torn Sakura to shreds with his bare hands before embracing violent glee, ripping Gato's hired muscle into gory confetti. Naruto contained a literal monster within the twisting confines of his soul.

But on the other hand, Sasuke was finding it more and more difficult to bury the _other_ memories he had of Naruto down in the corners of his mind. Naruto getting kicked through a fence by a bull and landing in a pile of manure. Naruto trying his best to drag either of the teammates who had little interest in him to eat ramen. Naruto smirking smirking irreverently and challenging Sasuke to reach the top of their trees in Nami no Kuni. Naruto crouched over him as the world went dark, tears streaming hot and thick down whiskered cheeks.

Sasuke growled - a frustrated and tortured sound - before slamming his fist into the wall below the shower head. The blue-grey tile cracked minutely beneath the blow, but the raven haired boy couldn't bring himself to care. He'd never asked to be so wrought up by one blonde haired idiot! Monster or human - if only Naruto would pick one and stick with it!

Instead Sasuke got earnest offers of friendship, Naruto's exuberant natural friendliness wriggling through the defences he'd built to keep the world out after the Massacre. Then he got evil beneath human skin, bubbling up and slashing deep malevolence into whiskered cheeks. And then he got little more than silence with sad and dull blue eyes, Naruto only reacting to Sasuke's presence in order to give his all in their weekly Sunday training sessions.

Sasuke prided himself on his distance from other humans. No matter how much Sakura and Ino had wept and cajoled and giggled, Sasuke had refused every single request for a date either one of them offered with taciturn denials. Iruka had made an enormous effort in the years following the death of his family, trying to reach out to Sasuke with after-school meetings and invitations to outings that the Uchiha declined with a frown. Kiba and Chouji tried to befriend Sasuke, no doubt motivated by pity.

The Uchiha had swiftly and easily rebuffed them all.

So why? _Why_ did he stare at Naruto's face to see sorrow mixed with murder and feel _pity_? All the anger and hatred he mustered up towards the jinchuuriki had slowly but inevitably become mingled through with reluctant compassion.

Sasuke had a mission. He didn't need distractions from a blond teammate with a kicked puppy look or a stern but kindly ANBU squad captain. Itachi was strong and _alone_. His brother wasn't dragged down by bonds and a softening heart.

Shinobi Rule Number Twenty - 'A shinobi must never show any weakness'.

Sasuke turned the shower off with a jerk of the wrist, baring his teeth at the wall in a soundless snarl.

* * *

Jiraiya sucked in air with a long deep drag of his kiseru. Tobacco smoke curled through his lungs, a familiar burning sensation that steadied the Gama Sennin's nerves before the author released the vapor in white streams from his nostrils.

When word had reached him two days after Naruto's return to Konoha from his disastrous mission in Nami no Kuni, Jiraiya had known pure and unadulterated terror. Not of the seal breaking - no, the Sennin knew and trusted his student's work too much to worry about that - but that Minato's sacrifice would become nothing.

The notion that Naruto could have been done away with and still might be if he failed to master the Kyuubi had nearly frightened the wits out of Jiraiya. There was very little left in the world that could drive the S-ranked shinobi to fear, but Naruto's death or ruination was one of them. The fuuinjutsu master shuddered to think of how close it may have been. Even now, the boy would likely be compromised by the darkness of life inside ANBU.

Once he'd moved past the initial wave of terror, Jiraiya had nearly given into his rage. He'd wanted to return to the village and whip the Council into shape, being his legal superiors wouldn't have mattered. How dare they expect an untrained boy that had grown up alone to be able to control a pure force of nature? Those old crows hadn't been able to defeat the Kyuubi themselves, yet they expected a child to enslave it? And then when the boy failed, their choice was to condemn him to a life of further murder or execution?

It had been the smothering guilt that had stopped Jiraiya from dropping everything and rushing back to the village. Even if Hiruzen had said time and again that the work he did for the village was important, Jiraiya still knew that the precious information he returned to Konoha was bought with the childhood of Minato's son. If Jiraiya had been able to be there, Naruto might have grown up happy and cared for. The boy might even have been trained enough not to go under to the first surge of the bijuu's chakra.

By what right did Jiraiya have to get angry at the Council when he blamed himself even more?

Sighing loudly, the Sennin turned the pipe over in his hands and watched as the last smouldering ashes dropped out over the grass. Even if Jiraiya was Naruto's godfather, he'd been such a shitty one that he really didn't have the luxury of getting offended on the boy's behalf.

If anyone was going to be crucified for their maltreatment of Minato's boy, Jiraiya would be first on the list.

So he'd waited. Waited for the summons back to the village to arrive, like Jiraiya knew they would. Waited as he carefully detangled himself from the network of contacts he'd forged and made sure his new forays into the war-torn lands of Mizu no Kuni would be intact when he inevitably returned. Waited as he'd navigated his careful way back to Konoha with none of his many enemies the wiser.

Then he'd finally returned. Jiraiya had shown up in his sensei's office unannounced, grim and without his characteristic cheer to listen to the psychologist's reports on Naruto's mental state and on the conditions that Hiruzen had been backed into agreeing with. The Sannin had taken everything in, and then fired off a toad messenger to Kakashi.

Now he waited to witness the price of his sins and inaction firsthand.

Jiraiya slipped the kiseru back into the folds of his crimson sleeves, fingers brushing over tucked away scrolls before withdrawing to fold into his lap. Crossing his legs, the Sennin leaned into the boulder he was relaxing against and closed his eyes to take in the sounds of nature.

They were coming.

Grass rustled faintly as Kakashi dropped down, followed by a much louder crunch of foliage as the genin ANBU recruit followed his captain down, unable to quite mimic the lightness of the jounin's feet yet. Both stood respectfully silent, watching the quiet hermit.

Jiraiya sighed and opened dark eyes to look into a face he'd only seen in passing over the past twelve years. The familiarity there made his heart lurch. Minato's hair and eyes, but there were Kushina's cheekbones and her rounded jaw. It was the other reason he'd refused to press hard for his godson's custody.

At heart Jiraiya was a coward, and looked at Naruto with mingled pain and nostalgia in his chest. So he'd fled, nursing his pain and old wounds until they festered. The older Naruto got, the less Jiraiya had been able to force himself to return to the village due to the risk of meeting Minato or Kushina in miniature.

"Kakashi." the Sennin greeted, roving his gaze over the only living student of the Yondaime Hokage. He hadn't thought to find the man in ANBU gear again, and even if the pair had left their masks and armour behind it would have been obvious to him what they had been inducted into. "You've gotten old."

Kakashi blinked, quirking his eyebrow before his visible eye crinkled in the way that all those familiar with him knew meant he was smiling. "Jiraiya-sama. This is Uzumaki Naruto." The jounin shoved his student forward, motioning towards the seated man with one hand. "Naruto, this is Jiraiya of the Sannin."

A moment passed.

"Yo, jiji."

A loud bark of laughter sprung from Jiraiya's throat even as Kakashi cuffed the genin over the back of the head. _Ah, Kushina. How very like you your son is. I wonder if he still adores ramen, like you did?_

Eying Naruto carefully as the genin reflexively scowled up at the ANBU Captain, Jiraiya leaned forward to fix a meaningful look on the boy. "Naruto, I'm here to take a look at your seal."

With a swiftness that surprised even Kakashi, Naruto's whiskered face went pale as milk. The blonde's breath went slightly raspy, but with Kakashi's calming hand gripped over his shoulder, the ANBU recruit didn't flee into the wilderness. "Alright." Naruto muttered after swallowing thickly before stepping forward and yanking his shirt up over his stomach.

Sparing a moment to give Naruto what he hoped was a comforting grin, Jiraiya leaned forward and ordered the genin to infuse some chakra. The Sennin squinted as the lines of the Hakke no Fuuin seeped into being. Anxious silence hung in the air as Jiraiya looked over the thick curved lines of the seal for a long minute before blowing a relieved sigh. "Looks fine to me. There's no breakdown of the sealing elements as far as I can determine."

Naruto dropped the hem of his shirt back down hurriedly, and retreated behind Kakashi's tall form without gaining any of the colour back into his face. Looking at the boy's obvious fear and anxiety, even Jiraiya - who had fought two wars and killed more people than he could count - was moved to pity.

Today was the day he was supposed to begin training Naruto to touch the Kyuubi's chakra. For all their years of non-interference, a fire had been lit under the Council's collective asses. But looking at Naruto, Jiraiya found himself gritting his teeth instead. This wasn't some nameless kid, this was _Minato and Kushina's son_ -

"I think we're good for today kiddo."

It was the pure expression of thankful relief that flooded Naruto's eyes that convinced Jiraiya that he'd at least done one thing right by the boy, the Council's orders be damned.

* * *

Shimura Danzo glided gracefully down the street, seemingly oblivious to the few who passed him by. Loud cracks echoed with each step the old man took, as his cane matched the rhythm of his pace.

Two nameless agents silently traversed the rooftops above their master, invisible to those who walked along the roads. Eyes sweeping for any threats that could potentially endanger the bandaged man, they scurried across the buildings with fluid forms.

Long since 'alone', Danzo walked up a short path to his personal residence, his two operatives staying at a healthy distance to his sides, out of sight.

Reaching to unlock his front door with a key hidden in the sleeve of his robes, Danzo clicked the lock open with a practiced motion, and stepped inside the walkway. In complete silence, the elderly man stopped dead, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Returning outside, Danzo formed a quick series of hand seals, recalling four agents to his side immediately.

"Remove your masks." the councilor ordered, single visible eye staring at the ROOT shinobi emotionlessly.

The agents quickly did as instructed, heads bowed in front of their master.

Danzo used his cane to prop up the chin of the leftmost agent, carefully analyzing his face. Everything seemed in order, until Danzo noticed a rather glazed quality to the man's eyes. A glaze that was repeated in the eyes of all four of his trained operatives.

Barely sensing a presence behind him, Danzo whipped around to look into swirling red eyes. Without a hint of emotion from either party, Itachi proceeded to walk smoothly into the warhawk's residence.

Closing the door behind him, Danzo followed the former Konoha ANBU agent after dismissing his disoriented underlings. Entering his formal, dimly-lit living room, Danzo sat down in a straight-backed chair immediately opposite of Uchiha Itachi.

"Did you believe that you could keep your interaction with Sasuke a secret from me?" Itachi stated matter-of-factly with a dead stare. The stress lines of the Uchiha's face were carved deeper and longer than Danzo remembered, but the carefully controlled facade was familiar.

"I have anticipated this situation for some time, in fact," Danzo replied, matching Itachi's stare.

"Did you think that I would passively sit by as Sasuke joined your pack of trained hounds? You should have known better, _Danzo-sama._ " A rare glint of emotion flickered across Itachi's face, violent and murderous and _hungry_ , before returning to cool composure.

"The truth of the situation is quite to the contrary, Uchiha Itachi. You simply do not have a full understanding of what exactly has happened in regards to your little brother."

At those words Itachi's face hardened, Sharingan eyes swirling into powerful Mangekyou as they regarded the head of ROOT with deep suspicion.

"I have taken the boy under my wing in not only the best interest of Konohagakure, but also of Sasuke himself. I know that his safety and his ability to protect himself are highly valued by you, Uchiha Itachi."

"Not at the cost of you turning him into another emotionless dog to be ordered about by you on a whim. If you believe that I will allow this to continue, _you are mistaken,_ " Itachi added with an uncharacteristic growl, hands sliding threateningly from the dark sleeves of his Akatsuki cloak.

"Again, you misunderstand. Sasuke is not a typical ROOT agent, as you so obviously believe I am moulding him to be. Sasuke is of immense political value to the village, in terms of publicity for Konoha as well as in terms of _you_ , Itachi."

"Explain yourself."

"Did _you_ believe that I ignored the potential ramifications of treating your younger brother like another face in the crowd? No. The waste of potential would be enormous. I would not be so callous as to invoke not only your ire, but also compromise whatever future good that young Sasuke could perform on behalf of the village as more than another nameless shadow. I have merely taken it upon myself to train, and push the boy to his limits, to potentially produce a shinobi capable of equalling _you,_ Itachi."

"And I am expected to take your words at face-value? I will not have Sasuke become yet another conditioned little pawn in your hand."

"No, Uchiha-san, I do not expect you to believe what I say. I _do_ expect, however, that your vaunted intelligence can analyze the situation and discover the truth. My motivations have remained the same. My sole desire is to protect this village and its inhabitants, just as it has been for many years. I will not jeopardize its integrity for any purpose, therefore it lies within both of our interests to cultivate both Sasuke's skill and loyalty to Konohagakure. I do not know what game it is you wish to play with your and your brother's lives, and nor do I care. But I am certain that you do not wish harm to befall him any more than I do. One day, you will die at Sasuke's hand. On that day, I intend for him to have another purpose to turn to once you no longer remain."

At that point, Itachi stood up gracefully and began walking over to the seated, feeble-looking man. Moving his face directly in front of Danzo's own, Itachi whispered in a flat voice, "I will be watching, _carefully_. If I discover any deception in what you have said, or any foul play regarding Sasuke, I will not hesitate to intervene. I am not a man you would wish to have as your enemy, Shimura Danzo."

With those words Itachi ghosted out of the house silently, leaving Danzo alone in the room. Standing with calm composure, the man ambled towards his kitchen with the intent of boiling tea, what visible portion of his face divulging no hint of emotion. Only the slightest tremble of his unbandaged hand betrayed him.

* * *

"Damn it!" A large, dark-skinned man roared, hopping energetically on one foot.

"Raikage-sama, I told you that you shouldn't use such heavy weights at your desk. Not only could you cause structural damage to this building, but your foot could pay the price as well…"

Yotsuki Ei glared at his assistant indignantly. Setting down his inflamed foot gingerly without breaking eye contact, he hefted the massive weights back onto their specially designed storage rack.

Mabui continued calmly, "Moving on, Raikage-sama, I believe you wanted to address Kirabi-sama and his team? I took the liberty of directing them to your office for an appointment, and they are currently waiting outside.

With a curt nod from the fuming leader of Kumogakure, Mabui glided gracefully over to the door, swinging the doors to the office open on oiled hinges.

"-dropped on his foot, then what if it gets injured? If the Raikage hurt his foot, then he wouldn't be combat-ready, and if Kumo got attacked by another hidden village then we wouldn't have our Raikage-," a white-haired boy ranted, arms waving frantically.

"Enough!" Ei snapped, glower worsening. "Get in here and stop wasting my time!"

Head nervously bowed, Omoi followed in his sensei and two teammates, shuffling into the room with his eyes on the ground. Karui's eyes blazed, looking prepared to pulverize the boy, while Samui rolled her eyes, remaining stoic.

As the Raikage opened his mouth to speak, Kirabi exclaimed, "So why'd you call us in, bro? Ya gotta keep me in the know!" He continued to strike a variety of poses in front of the desk, twirling about as he spoke.

Looking ready to murder his adoptive brother, Ei growled, "Sit. Down. And stop with your terrible 'rap', I've told you enough times!" The Raikage made a quick motion to Mabui, signalling her to bring forth the documents in her hands.

"The reason I called you all in here is to discuss the upcoming Konoha Chuunin Examinations." At that, the eyes of all three genin in the room began to shine, although Samui quickly regained composure.

"Iwagakure has given their response, as expected, and these upcoming trials will have contestants from every major village, excluding Kirigakure of course. I will _not_ tolerate failure in this situation with so much on the line!"

Ei slammed his fist down into his reinforced desk, causing the entire room to shudder, newly minted cracks etched out in the hardwood. Mabui clicked her tongue, moving over to the desk with practiced expertise, reshuffling papers back together after gently raising the Yondaime Raikage's large hand.

Running his opposite hand through slicked-back hair, Ei continued, "And for that reason I have selected your genin team, Bee, to compete. I will be sending a variety of teams to Konohagakure, but in your case, there was a special issue that needed to be addressed.

A blonde woman in the corner of the room smirked, flexing long nails as she anticipated what was about to happen. Simultaneously, an almost synchronized sigh emanated throughout the room from several shinobi.

"Bee, you will _not_ be accompanying your team."

"What! You can't separate me from my team! Together, we're the dream, you see! Wheee!" The jinchuuriki raised his right hand, thrusting his characteristic 'sign of the horns' into the air.

Smacking his hand against his forehead, Ei continued, "You are the Guardian of Kumogakure for a reason, as well as the jinchuuriki for the Hachibi. I cannot let you waltz into Konoha unprotected! For that reason, I will be assigning Dodai to command the team."

"Bro what are you thinking, Konoyarou! I haven't had a vacation in months, Bakayarou! I need to get out of this village, for some looting and pillage, yeah!"

Ei raised his hand warningly in a claw. "You _will_ respect my decision Bee, or I _will_ use my Aian Kurou on you. Understand?"

The jinchuuriki of the Eight-Tailed Beast flinched slightly, hands rubbing his face preemptively. "There's no need for that, but I just want you to know I feel like a rat. Locked in a cage, I'm gonna go craze, 'ey. Wheee!"

"That one didn't even rhyme right, Bee," a man with shaggy white hair and a bulbous nose drawled in a flat tone.

Despite an initial flash of annoyance, the hard lines of Ei's face began to soften slightly. "Bee, I'll make a deal with you. Don't raise a fuss about not going as your team's jounin-sensei in the initial phases of the exams, and I'll let you accompany me to the finals. Agreed?"

Kirabi did not respond, instead pulling out a small notebook that he wrote on furiously.

"Agreed?" the Raikage stated menacingly, leaning forwards in an intimidating pose.

"Bee! I will not abide by your foolishness!"

Without any indication of a response from the muscular, glasses-sporting man, the entire room erupted into a round of poorly-concealed snickering.

"Unbelievable!" Ei screamed, slamming his fist down with a crackle of lightning. His desk exploded outwards, letting loose shards of wood that flew in every direction, causing most of the room to duck for cover.

A large fragment of the desk slammed into the pencil that Bee was using to write. Snapping close his small notebook, Bee stated with a straight face, apparently oblivious to his surroundings, "Sure bro, cleared with me and Eight-O, if you want to know."

Nearly turning purple in the face, the Raikage barely calmed himself as Mabui rested a diminutive hand on his massive shoulders, placing a rubber stress-ball in her boss' hands.

Mabui proceeded to tut as she snatched fragments of papers that flew throughout the room, some singed and torn beyond recognition. "I told you to watch your temper, Raikage-sama, it's bad for your health! How do you expect to get anything done if you keep breaking everything in your office?"

The sounds of stifled laughter evolved into full-out roaring amusement throughout the room, causing the hot-rage to evaporate from Ei's face, replaced with an extremely dark look.

Mabui continued serenely, "Your anger therapist, Kagome Tadashi-san, told you specifically to control your impulsive rage. Think calming thoughts, Raikage-sama, go to your happy, _safe_ space. Your stress is going to cause you more headaches and back-problems! That's exactly what happened to the Tsuchikage."

Looking like an ominous thundercloud, the rubber ball exploded in Ei's hands. Raucous laughter was replaced by wheezing snorts, as nearly everyone doubled over hysterically.

Ei took a deep breath before sitting back in his surprisingly untouched chair, massaging his temples furiously. "Quiet down! Bee, go. Now!"

Still chortling, Kirabi gathered his team and sauntered out of the room with large smiles plastered to their faces.

"To address the next order of business, we will be discussing Kirigakure. Mabui!"

"Hai, Raikage-sama." Mabui scurried about the room attempting to salvage pieces of paper, before exhaling a sigh of relief as she located a mostly intact document. Handing it to the leader of Kumogakure, Mabui stepped back promptly and clasped her hands in front of her.

The Raikage impatiently pointed at Darui and a man sporting a porcelain mask covered with the kanji for thunder, signalling them forwards. Darui ambled before the Raikage's ruined desk lazily, while the commander of Kumogakure's Shomen Onmitsu Jigyoubu surged forth and inclined his head, adopting a straight-backed pose in front of his leader.

"The situation in Kirigakure has developed. Apparently the revolution against Yagura has intensified significantly, as the former Kiri no Shinobigatana Shichinin Shuu member Momochi Zabuza has joined the 'Resistance'. He's brought numerous nuke-nin and hired mercenaries to join the fight, and has equalized the odds somewhat against Yagura."

"What is it that you propose, Raikage-sama?" Darui said in an uncharacteristically serious tone, eyes flashing dangerously.

"At this point in the civil war, our assistance, and that of other villages, will be critical in deciding the outcome of the war. Both sides have sent numerous pleas to the village, requesting aid, and I'm sure other major villages have encountered the same." Ei stroked his mustache vigorously. "Our goals remain the same as before: we will use the chaos in Kirigakure to not only secure potential bloodlines for Kumo, but also to make sure whoever _does_ succeed in Kiri owes us dearly."

"Raikage-sama?"

"Darui, I would like you to take Yugito with you and hand-pick a selection of jounin for upcoming intervention in Kirigakure. I personally despise the current Mizukage, but we _will_ be sending a contingent of men to aid his cause, albeit covertly."

Darui inclined his head slightly, waiting for the Raikage to continue.

Ei cleared his throat, "The best possible outcome in this situation would be for the war to continue to fester and for Yagura to retain the upper hand, so as to promote bloodline clans' motivation to relocate to Kumo. A secondary mission that you will be undertaking in Kirigakure is to identify any potential candidates with Kekkei Genkai and relay the information back to the village discreetly. You will be deploying shortly before the Chuunin Exams begin, while most of the villages are preoccupied. Once you have determined the extent of your team, I will brief you with further instructions. Dismissed."

With those words, Darui and Yugito shunshin'ed out of the room with a puff of smoke. The Raikage stood up and gestured towards the remaining occupants of the room, ordering, "The rest of you, out. Now."

The small contingent of chuunin and various shinobi populating the office dispersed immediately, with the exception of Mabui and the SHOJI Commander, who remained in his formal position.

"Raimei." The Raikage's expression was deadly serious, all hint of anger or levity absent from his face. "Your mission will be granted the utmost importance in regards to the situation in Kirigakure.

The SHOJI Commander stood up straight, giving unwavering attention directly to the burly man in front of him.

"I task you with forming a team out of your most skilled infiltration and espionage operatives, no more than 10 members, to be sent into Kiri. They will need to be untraceable, with no connections apparent to Kumogakure whatsoever."

"Of course, Raikage-sama."

"This team will be undertaking an operation of three stages. The first will be initial reconnaissance of Kirigakure and of laying a small network to relay messages between your agents in the country. That mission will be launched in 5 days time."

The masked shinobi inclined his head slightly, waiting for further orders.

"The secondary phase will involve combat, in which your agents will conduct highly covert subterfuge and information-gathering on the Kirigakure rebels. All information gathered is to be relayed between your placed agents and eventually back to the village, where it may be transmitted to our jounin force in Kiri. However, _under no circumstances_ are your agents to blow their cover or even reveal their existence at the cost of contra-rebellion machinations. Understood?"

"Hai, Raikage-sama."

"Finally, and most importantly, your operatives will be tasked with transporting various Kekkei Genkai wielding shinobi out of the country, after identification has been confirmed by our jounin agents on the ground. Any more information will be relayed to you as needed. Dismissed."

SHOJI Commander Raimei disappeared from the office in a crackle of lightning, leaving the Raikage and his trusted assistant standing alone in the ruined office.

Surveying the room with disapproving eyes, Mabui muttered, "I told you that you needed to watch your temper… Look at this mess!"

As she began cleaning up the disaster-zone, the Raikage stood up and walked over to a nearby window.

"Hmph. I need to discuss something with Bee and his team." Tensing his legs, Ei smashed through the window without a second glance towards Mabui.

Alone in the office, Mabui scowled and shouted after the rapidly disappearing form of the Yondaime Raikage, "I told you to use the door!" Scowling darkly, she poked her head out the entrance and instructed a pair of chuunin to begin cleaning the destroyed office as she went off in search of a new desk.

* * *

Naruto sprawled over the musty plaid surface of one of the couches that had been tucked away in the office of Squad Gamma-3 when they'd first been assigned the room. Truthfully, the blonde jinchuuriki wasn't really _bothered_ by the smell. It certainly wasn't sunshine and roses, but Naruto had smelt and lived with worse in his day.

Based on the slight wrinkle to his pale nose though, Sasuke most likely didn't have near the experience - if the Uchiha had any at all - dealing with substandard living conditions. And why would he? Even if Sasuke's whole family was dead, the raven haired boy was still a bonafide princeling.

Pansy bastard.

Tossing his mask in the air, Naruto lazily caught the red and white painted otter mask before flinging it back up. The genin still wasn't entirely comfortable with wearing the ANBU mask. Every time he settled it over his face, he felt like what made him Uzumaki Naruto was dying all over again. As if he existed some odd limbo.

"Stop that." Sasuke snatched the otter mask from the air with a frown, throwing it down onto the cocktail table where the porcelain clattered loudly in the stale air of the room. Black eyes stared down for a moment before Sasuke turned away with a grunt.

Naruto thinned his lips, rolling away to face the wall. A little more than a month ago, the Uzumaki would have been up in arms over that. He would've insulted Sasuke. Sasuke would've insulted him back. The voices would escalate until Sakura put a stop to it by clunking the blonde over the back of his head, and all the while Kakashi would look on with a smile of amusement while pretending to read his book.

Those days were long since gone - by Naruto's hand no less - and the blonde boy simply couldn't muster the anger to make a fuss over it. Or anything anymore, really. He ate whatever Kakashi-sensei put in front of him. He wore whatever Kakashi-taichou bought him. The Kyuubi jinchuuriki simply didn't care anymore.

(" _Your power is in your passions." Jiraiya-sensei had said the fifth time they'd met, eyes dark and luminous beneath the midday sun. "Until you're willing to summon them, there's very little I can teach you about the bijuu…"_ )

Not caring was easy, behind the mask of an ANBU operative.

The knock at the door burst the bubble of silence, and Naruto rolled back over to watch. Sasuke merely flooded his arms and leaned into the wall as it swung inward, revealing the familiar tall form of their sensei and Squad Captain.

What was unfamiliar was the purple-haired woman at Kakashi's back.

"Yo." The ANBU Captain greeted with a lazy hand wave, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind them after the woman entered.

Chocolate eyes scanned over the small office, darting over the desk and the other two members of Gamma-3 without reaction before she visibly recoiled at the obvious brown stains across the back of the couch. Thinning ruby red lips, the ANBU woman gave the sofa Naruto was sprawled over a look of suspicion.

"Yo." Naruto waved back, rolling off the couch to reveal several rips with stuffing spilling out. Sasuke merely grunted in greeting, dark eyes following the new arrival warily.

"So." Kakashi grinned cheerfully after a moment of awkward silence, making Naruto roll his eyes in a mixture of amusement and exasperation. "I'd like to introduce you to Gamma-3's new lieutenant, Uzuki Yugao."

Tearing her eyes away from the monstrosity of a couch, Yugao gave both genin a cool but polite "Hello." Brown orbs began to slowly track back across to the filthy furniture while Kakashi introduced his students.

"I'm sorry." Yugao cut in, red lips curving up into a sheepish sort of grin. "I just - do you mind if I arrange to have those taken out somewhere and burned? Maybe with the ashes scattered for good measure?"

Naruto blinked slowly, mouth dropping slightly open into a befuddled "Um?"

"Not at all." Sasuke agreed immediately. Pushing himself off the wall, the Uchiha spared a disgusted glance at the stained surfaces before turning to Yugao with an uncharacteristically eager look on his face. "Let's get rid of them today. Right now. I'll even pay for new ones if there's a budget issue."

"C'mon guys. It can't be that bad." Naruto rolled his eyes at the ceiling.

"Oh, thank the Kami." Yugao muttered, stepping forward to offer a hand to Sasuke. The Uchiha eyed the taut muscles of her tattooed bicep for a moment before accepting the handshake with a perfunctory expression. "I've been working with this one for years." the Lieutenant added with a jerk of her chin towards the slouching Kakashi. "And let me tell you that if it's not _his_ place, he's a complete and utter slob."

Sasuke examined the hilt of the katana poking over the woman's shoulder before shoving his hands in his pockets and fixing Kakashi with a dark glare. "I'd noticed."

Calling to mind their squad leader's tendency during their Team Seven days of leaving things in a rumpled mess during their missions, Naruto was forced to silently agree.

Wasting no time, Yugao darted past Kakashi to give the man a cuff to the shoulder before settling against one end of the couch. "Well, what are you waiting for?" she asked after a moment, frowning slightly at Sasuke when the Uchiha had failed to follow her. "Let's get to it."

"What, you mean like, right now? Seriously?" Naruto boggled as Sasuke shrugged, taking up a position opposite the purple-haired woman. "I thought you were joking!"

"ANBU don't joke." Kakashi deadpanned, lips twitching beneath the black cloth of his mask as Sasuke and Yugao easily hefted the musty old couch in the air. "We are an absolutely one hundred percent serious and hard-work oriented organization."

"You'll be getting one hundred percent drunk if Genma hears you talking like that." Yugao smirked as she and Sasuke maneuvered the couch through the door. There was a bubble of laughter from the hallway, and Naruto could just distantly hear Yugao's voice bark out "You shut your pie-hole, Tsukiko!"

"What?" Naruto blinked and turned to Kakashi to peer entreatingly at the ANBU Captain. " _What?_ "

"That, my young friend, would be one of my cute ANBU kouhai." Kakashi sighed theatrically. "And to think that once upon a time you wanted to understand women."

* * *

 **(AN - White):** This chapter rolls in at 6400 words. It's now officially one month after the return from Wave, and five months until the Chuunin Exams.

 **(AN - Ajax): I** 'll address a bit about what's going on in Kumo. Remember from the appendices, Yagura is _not_ being manipulated by Obito. He's simply a prejudiced little bastard. Each village wants a piece of the prize that is Kirigakure, if they can. Yagura wants to exterminate all the Kekkei Genkai users around, so those shinobi are either going to join the resistance or flee to neighboring countries. From a pragmatic point of view, other villages want to prolong the war to nab all they can from Kiri. However, some of the more idealistic villages may wish to promote relations with the resistance and secure their bid for power. Does anyone smell a conflict?


	6. Sixth Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and we make no profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title - Mesa grind des gears**

 **(AN - Ajax):** On with the show!

* * *

"Keep your stance braced!" Yugao barked as she lunged forward, swinging her katana down in a deadly arc that Sasuke barely blocked. Her blade and Sasuke's tanto gave an ear-gouging screech as the edges ground over one another, and with a final clash of metal and sparks the ANBU Lieutenant pulled back.

Lashing out with her heel, Yugao drove her foot right through an opening in Sasuke's guard and knocked the wind from the Uchiha's lungs. "Your defence is too lopsided! Centralize it!"

Sasuke stumbled back with a gasp, blinking the sweat from his eyes and ignoring the salty sting as he forced his tired body to circle his instructor. A month ago he'd felt like he was getting a handle on how to properly wield a tanto, and then Yugao had promptly taken him aside and shattered that assumption.

When Fuu had instructed Sasuke, the Yamanaka had demonstrated movements to be copied with the Sharingan and then had Sasuke perform them in a kata until the man had been satisfied. Yugao's instruction consisted of kicking his ass from one end of the training ground to the other and forcing him to adapt his rote motions into live combat.

Narrow brown eyes considered Sasuke as the genin continued to circle the jounin, easily picking apart the flaws in the way he moved. Red lips thinned, and with a single smooth dive the woman slammed into the Uchiha and barrelled him right off his feet.

"Stay perpendicular, not parallel to your opponent, unless you like getting knocked on your ass!"

Propelled by the momentum of his instructor's strike, Sasuke rolled in an ungainly tangle of limbs before grinding to a halt in the grass. Brushing loose green stalks from his shirt, the Uchiha spat out a mouthful of bloody saliva and whirled to get the drop on Naruto.

"Shut your mouth, dobe!"

The words, 'Like the taste of dirt, bastard?' died before Naruto began to utter them. Blue eyes blinked in slight confusion at being pre-empted, and Naruto scratched his head thoughtfully before shrugging. It was weird as hell that Sasuke apparently knew him well enough for that, but whatever.

Turning away as the Uchiha dove back into the fray with a grimace, Naruto folded his hands in his lap and scowled. He'd been trying for ages to 'look inside' himself, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. Ero-Sennin had just waffled about it with a smirk when the blonde had pressed for details.

Apparently, Naruto needed to fall into a meditative trance. After that, he should be able to touch the Kyuubi's chakra and use the great furball like a battery. Naruto closed his eyes as he attempted to ignore the oppressive smell of burning tobacco in the air.

Wind rustled in the trees, a constant quiet hum beneath the sound of Sasuke and Yugao huffing away as they sparred. Just on the edge of his hearing Naruto could practically feel the sizzle of burning leaf as it flamed away in the bowl of Jiraiya's kiseru. He couldn't see it, but Naruto knew if he opened his eyes he'd see Kakashi silently doing crunches upside-down from a tree branch.

Gah! This was so hard! 'Clear your mind.' What utter bullshit. As if sitting around and closing his eyes could stop the thoughts from buzzing away in Naruto's head like a swarm of angry bees. The blonde couldn't simply _stop_ thinking. In fact, trying seemed to make even more thoughts than usual pop up in his head.

Kakashi seemed plenty strong, so why was the ANBU Captain working away to get back whatever edge he claimed he'd lost? Why did Sasuke seem like he wanted to punch Naruto in the face half the time with a scowl, and the other half the time seem like he wanted to punch the blonde in the face with a smirk? Why did Jiraiya tell him all the time that he needed to master the Kyuubi's chakra, yet the man never seemed pissed with their lack of progress?

Blue eyes cracked half-open, staring with a glazed look at the distant edge of the horizon. There was little point in Naruto trying to stomp down on his thought process, because that only made the thoughts bubble back up. Random senseless thoughts twisting up through the cracks of his mind like lazy little springs. Even when the blonde wasn't thinking of anything in specific, he was just thinking about thinking.

Lethargy slowly crept over Naruto like a blanket, comfortable and thick under the faint November breeze. Hi no Kuni was typically too hot for much snow. The winters were marked more with rain than with ice, and even in the second to last month of the year it was warm enough outside to doze off.

Naruto turned slowly inward, muscles relaxed and breaths slipping slowly in and out of his lungs. It was funny how life changed people. A few months past and Naruto would have been bouncing on his ass ten seconds after sitting down with pent up energy. Now it was almost nice for him to just have peace, quiet, and the wind brushing over his cheeks.

Malevolence brushed the Uzumaki like the sudden crack of a whip, an abrupt and deep-seated _rage_ rushing through him between one blink and the next. Naruto's heart lurched in his chest, kicking from a lazy beat to the hammering pulse of a jackrabbit so quickly the blonde grabbed at his breast with the shocking pain of it, recoiling as if slapped.

"Hah." he gasped lowly, a bead of sweat breaking over his temple sliding wetly down the line of his jaw to hang from the chin. Deep breaths. _Deep_ breaths. _Slow_ ones too. Naruto sucked air in as noisily as he dared, aware of his oblivious teammates working away at their own projects all around him.

The moment passed, and Naruto thanked his lucky stars that no one had noticed the sudden lapse. At least the sissy psychologist had taught him something useful. Strange how just _breathing_ right could calm him down when the world started to shake and spiral away from him.

Which was useful as hell. Naruto could never really say in the quiet moments what the random flashes of anger were. The blonde hoped to every ancestor he'd ever had that they were just one of the panic attacks Yosuke told him that he had from time to time.

Even if panic attacks were supposed to be about being nervous, and he'd had enough of them to know what they were, Naruto wasn't ready to accept any other answer.

* * *

Mei burst from the dark water, blinking through the sodden red strands of her hair to peer about the gloom. A faint flicker of orange torchlight painted the walls, illuminating the entrance to one of her resistance's hidden posts.

She had decided that the Kirigakure Resurrection Front was _her_ resistance after Mei had been forced into a pitched battle with a zealous squad of religious fanatics. It became abundantly clear to the nukenin that no matter how hard she tried, some of the people rebelling against Yagura weren't interested in a unified front, or even in basic sanity. The Sons of Ryujin were little more than a fanatical anarchist doomsday cult that wanted to destroy every 'sinner' they could get their hands on, in this case being those with kekkei genkai.

The rebellion against the Kirigakure regime and its bloody campaign of murder was little more than a rabble of dozens of competing factions, and the Yondaime Mizukage would extinguish the resistances one by one until he reigned supreme.

But not if Mei got there first.

Hauling herself out of the seawater, Mei wrung the moisture from her hair and fruitlessly shook out her soaked flak jacket. The only way to defeat an enemy that enjoyed total military superiority like Yagura was to strike at the other bases of his power.

Strangle the economy through thievery and specific targeting of supply routes - which was why there was barely enough space to swing her arms without hitting one of the many stolen crates in her force's base. And win the hearts of the people, which was why her clothes were ripped and stained head to toe with blood.

There were no more Sons of Ryujin. No civilian or shinobi would again be forcibly drowned in an effort to reach spiritual enlightenment. Eyewitnesses and the blood caked under her fingernails would attest to it. Mizu no Kuni was freed of that particular fear by the hands of Terumi Mei.

"Welcome back, Terumi-sama."

"Ao." Green eyes blinked warily and Mei swept her sodden bangs from her forehead with an errant hand. "It's not like you to come looking for me just after I get back."

Bowing his head in apologetic respect, the blue-haired shinobi gave a smile that was more akin to a grimace. "Forgive me, Terumi-sama. Something has come up while you were gone that needs your personal attention." Ao turned away. "If you would follow me, there is someone that has requested to see you."

"Oh?" Mei wiggled back into the cool wet jacket, brushing at her soaked sweatpants with a frown. "And who would that be? A cute boy, perhaps?"

Ao didn't even react to his leader's typical comment about men. The shinobi with the stolen Hyuuga eye was more than familiar with the Resurrection Front commander's personal quirks. "A messenger from the Blue Lotus Movement. We tried to break her without doing too much damage, but she still insists on speaking only to you."

"Zabuza-chi, hmm?" Briefly considering using a modified Suiton jutsu to dry herself off, Mei sighed and dismissed it as a waste. As much as she would like to be dry, better to not waste the strength. Especially since she would be heading to a nice, warm bath once she had seen whoever the Kirigakure no Kijin had decided to send her.

Following after Ao as he lead her down a path of rough-hern passageways, Mei briefly daydreamed about her soon-to-come bath. Just a nice relaxing soak for a few hours. Nothing luxurious.

Ao stopped in front of a curtain of reeds, nodding curtly to the guards standing stiffly on either side of the door before ducking through the hanging stalks. Favouring the two men with a wink, Mei sauntered in after her most loyal subordinate.

Guttering torchlight illuminated a face that was ridiculously fine-featured and so porcelain pretty that Mei had to strangle down an initial rush of envy. While the rest of the shinobi's body was fairly androgynous and could pass as a girl's if the small swell of his adam's apples was missed, Zabuza's messenger had a face that could break hearts.

"I heard that you wanted to speak with me." Mei opened with after a moment, shaking off the vague musings and jealousies. The messenger boy took her in with dark eyes before nodding faintly.

"My name is Haku. I was asked by Zabuza-sama to say one thing to you." The Yuki teen smiled faintly, brown orbs warming minutely at the mere thought of his surrogate father. "The Blue Lotus Movement and the Kirigakure Resistance Front fight for the same thing in the end. It would be better to unite our strength. Therefore Zabuza-sama challenges you to single combat. Let the loser serve the winner, and unite our separate resistances into one greater force."

Ao's face spasmed through shock and offence, and with one glance Mei knew that the man was half a moment away from lunging forward to deal with the perceived insult to his mistress. Throwing her hand in front of his face, Mei ignored the confused expression Ao gave as he backed down from the tensed teen boy.

So Zabuza-chi fancied a fight, did he? It had been a few years since the Shinobi Swordsman's failed coup, and while he'd been strong at the time Mei knew that she could have _destroyed_ the Momochi Zabuza of yesteryear. So unless the man had really improved in the intervening years since going nukenin, the redhaired woman was relatively sure she could best him.

Pink lips curved into a full smirk, and Mei settled her hands over her generous hips. "Well, if Zabuza-chi wants to wager some good soldiers and material for a man's machismo and silly pride, who am I to disagree? Oh, and Ao?"

"Yes, Terumi-sama?"

"This child is a boy. I thought you'd like to know."

* * *

The red-haired man stood up abruptly from his seat, turning away from the heated discussion at the large conference table. Knuckling his temples, Rasa blatantly ignored the angry murmurs at his back, choosing to look out somewhat grimy windows at the massive expanse of sandstone building before him.

A sense of hopelessness permeated the air, creating an oppressive weight that clung to the shoulders of those trudging along the roads. The dreary, monotonous surroundings were broken up by seemingly random splotches of color, in what seemed like a half-hearted attempt to stave off the gloom.

The Yondaime Kazekage turned back towards his various advisors, knuckles turning white as he gripped the back of his wooden chair.

"Enough."

His soft words cut through the debate with practiced ease as he raised his hand, immediately silencing the room.

"My people starve. Squabbling like children will not change this fact."

"Kazekage-sama, surely there must be a way to convince the Daimyo to lend us some support in these trying times?" A sweaty, pale-faced man in extravagant robes spoke out. "I'm sure if we presented a proper case-"

"I will not bend my knees to that man any longer." Rasa's gaze turned murderous, causing his advisor to blanch. Practically spitting, Rasa declared, "That vile worm has profited off of Sunagakure's toil, only to abandon her at the slightest sign of faltering. I will not come begging at his doorstep for aid, as I'm sure he has hoped from me."

Another advisor spoke out, "But Kazekage-sama, what would you have us do? We can't continue at this rate! Every month, Suna nets less and less missions. We've had to ration food and water just to stave off massive starvation. The situation has deteriorated to the point that we have a fifth of the village's shinobi scouring the countryside for supplies just to keep them occupied and put food in their stomachs."

The Yondaime Kazekage furrowed his brow, hunching forward and setting the auburn strands of his hair alight with refracted sunlight. "We've already discussed what we can do to fill the village coffers once more. There is little to do but proceed with a desperate gamble for the survival of the village."

"Kazekage-sama, I humbly disagree. Assaulting another hidden village is a risky adventure! Please, at least think on the possible consequences of your course of action!"

"Oh, but I have." Rasa murmured, voice low, rolling, and dark as he twisted away. "Turning to Orochimaru is unfortunate, but necessary."

Rasa discreetly eyed a specific junior member of the council, cataloguing his reaction to the meeting.

Clasping his hands behind his back, Rasa continued, "My decision is made. The price we would pay by continuing the farce of peace is too steep. We must continue with the invasion plans. Dismissed."

As the majority of the council filtered out of the room, Rasa subtly notified three of his closest advisors to regroup in a smaller room, a floor above. Taking another long look at the downtrodden city before him, the Yondaime Kazekage rubbed his temples sorrowfully before striding to join those he signalled.

Closing the heavy door with a gentle pull, Rasa took a seat at the head of a small table, where his advisors eyed him expectantly.

"Ikeda." Snapping to attention, back straight, the battle-weary shinobi affixed Rasa with an inquisitive look. "Check our surroundings for eavesdroppers, immediately."

As if carved from stone, the man's face hardened into an emotionless mask of concentration, raising one hand into a half-seal in front of his mouth. "We are alone, Kazekage-sama."

"Good. Baki, please relay the report that you shared with me earlier this morning to these two."

"Hai, Kazekage-sama." Turning to his fellow council-members, Baki cleared his throat. "Before dawn this morning, one of our operatives in the field, operating within Konohagakure, sent an urgent message to our communications headquarters. We have received reliable intel that both the Raikage and Tsuchikage will be attending the Chuunin Examinations in Konohagakure this year."

The third advisor, Akita Sachi, furrowed her brow as Ikeda Saburo tensed slightly. Rasa continued to watch impassively, gauging the reactions of his effective political cabinet.

Baki adjusted his mask slightly before continuing, "Obviously this adds unknown complications to our original intentions to invade Konoha. As the Kazekage and I discussed earlier, it is no longer in our best interest to continue with our previous course of action."

The two advisors leaned back slightly in their seats, contemplating the information. Sachi quirked her mouth, then said, "I have opposed allying Sunagakure to Konoha's rebel snake from the beginning. While we are certainly in a desperate situation, I never wanted to stoop to that level. We have more pride than to go crying for alms from such a man."

Ikeda continued for his compatriot, "I am now forced to agree. While it was impractical to trust the snake from the beginning, we obviously cannot begin to place our faith in his ragtag 'Otogakure' against the might of three villages." The stoic man paused for a moment. "We must reconsider our course of action."

Rasa smirked slightly, before raising a hand to stop further discussion. "I am pleased with your analysis, as I considered this information similarly. However, I do not believe that an invasion of Konohagakure is our only option."

Baki frowned, looking to his Kage for permission to interrupt. After a terse nod, the Sand Jounin said, "Kazekage-sama, Sunagakure is desperate. The Leaf has been steadily corrupting the Wind Daimyo after the Third Shinobi World War, you have said it yourself! The only options that I could see being feasible, besides crippling Konoha's ability to take missions, is to somehow direct Sarutobi's eyes towards the East."

Ikeda stroked his beard with practiced motions. "We certainly have heard of boiling trouble in the Land of Water, which is likely to draw the Leaf's attention… However, we can't rely on that redirecting Konoha's priorities to the extent that we require."

Rasa spoke softly, "Attacking them on their home soil was always a risky gambit, even with Orochimaru's aid, and it has become increasingly impossible with the addition of more Kages to the equation. The congregation of so many important figures in one location is key."

Sachi murmured, "Are you suggesting that we provoke conflict between Konoha, and potentially, Kumogakure?"

Rasa's eyes flickered dangerously. "I do not welcome the prospect of a Fourth Shinobi World War, at least not given our present condition. I am no coward, but neither am I a fool." The Yondaime Kazekage raised his arms in a weighing gesture. "What I have initially planned is no less risky than our original invasion, yet it could bear immense rewards for Sunagakure. Instead of being used by Orochimaru, as I have always suspected was his intention, we will reverse our roles."

Rasa began to slowly pace the front of the cramped room, tapping his fingers lightly on his leg. "We do not need to strike at Konohagakure to reclaim both our prestige and our income. It is too risky a gambit, and I would prefer to strengthen the relationship with our ally rather than alienate them."

Akita Sachi spoke quickly, "But Kazekage-sama, we cannot allow the Hokage to continue stealing missions that rightfully belong to Sunagakure!"

Rasa stopped his motion completely, staring his advisor directly in the eye. Black rings surrounded his eye as he drew a small quantity of gold dust into his palm, molding it into a primitive figurine of a man, without taking his eyes off of Sachi.

The Kazekage began to speak with stiff composure, enunciating each word with deadly frigidity. "Konohagakure's actions are merely a symptom of a greater problem. We will continue to maintain the facade of working with Orochimaru. And we will use the opportunity to strike at the source of Sunagakure's hardships."

At those words, Rasa crushed the golden figurine in his hand, returning it to sparkling dust, and proceeded to glide out of the room without another word.

The three advisors left in the room spared a look between themselves, before hurrying out of the impromptu gathering with haste.

* * *

Sucking in a last breath of smoke, Jiraiya dumped the contents of his kiseru into the waste basket that stood like a lone sentinel in the corridor he strode down. The sennin could see Kakashi's stiff form moving alongside him out of the corner of his eye, and his instinctive response was to offer some reassurance to the student of his student.

Unfortunately the doom and gloom scenarios Kakashi was probably dreaming up in his head were a very real possibility.

The student of the Sandaime Hokage stopped in front of the last door on the right, offering the Hatake a blinding false grin over his shoulder before striding right into the meeting room.

A dull slam echoed through the silent chamber as the door swung shut behind them, making no impression on the impassive faces that sat behind the half circle table in front of them.

Kakashi swallowed thickly, folding his arms behind his back and standing at rigid attention with the hard gazes of Konoha's Council digging into him. Even the Sandaime's expression was cool and distant as he sat in the middle of the circle of councilors, old comrades spread out on either side like ministers tending to their king.

"Jounin Hatake, Sennin Jiraiya." Koharu's steely eyes flickered from one man to the other as she threaded her fingers together. "This Council has found your written reports on the progress of the Kyuubi jinchuuriki to be lacking."

White bandages rippled as Danzo rumbled "A verbal report has become necessary. The most immediate question that must be answered is if the jinchuuriki has managed to control the beast's chakra yet?"

Raising a hand, Hiruzen silenced the other man with a look. "Peace, Danzo. There is no rush to jump right to that line of questioning. It is important to get a picture of Naruto's health and stability first. Kakashi, Jiraiya - I've read the reports Yamanaka Yosuke has been forwarding to my office, and he does note improvements. In your own words, how would you say is the current state of Naruto's psyche?"

Jiraiya blinked before giving a shrug. The sennin only worked with the blonde genin for a few hours two or three times a week. Naruto seemed better than he'd been at the start, but the white-haired toad summoner didn't really see the Uzumaki enough to make an accurate judgement.

"Naruto's condition is much improved, Hokage-sama." Kakashi offered smoothly, crisp tones clear through the cloth of his mask. "After his initial enrollment to ANBU he displayed numerous signs of survivor's guilt and disturbance over the mission in Nami no Kuni. Recruit Uzumaki frequently slept less than minimum military recommendation, and what sleep he did get was disturbed by constant nightmares. Meals were rejected frequently. His training efficacy was sporadic - achieving astounding results one day only to achieve none the next."

Homura marked down a series of hurried notes with thick strokes before passing the page over to the ANBU Commander. "Continue." The bear masked man ordered after quickly scanning over the page and turning back to Kakashi.

"Yes sir. Now Naruto manages to reach current minimum recommendations for his rest and nutritional intake, though his sleep is still disturbed at times by nightmares. His training focus is much improved, and now he only experiences short periods of inefficiency spanning an hour or two rather than losing an entire day of training to emotional disturbance."

Stroking a hand through the coarse hairs of his beard as the ANBU Captain finished, Hiruzen hummed in thought before focusing back on Kakashi. "And what about his relations with his other squad members?"

"Naruto expresses a positive emotional attachment both to myself and to Uzuki-fukutaichou. He has little fear of raising questions or personal issues and solving them with the assistance of either of us. Recruit Uzumaki did however, have an antagonistic relationship with Recruit Uchiha after they were both initially assigned to Squad Gamma-3. Fortunately, the level of antagonism is significantly reduced since initial levels."

Huffing a sigh through his nostrils that drew Shikaku's eyes, Hiruzen leaned back in his seat and shoved the long stem of his pipe in his mouth. Everyone waited for a long moment in silence as the Hokage lit up and drew deep of the tobacco smoke. As it became clear that the Sandaime had little to immediately say, Homura stepped up to fill the gap.

"That is positive news, and bodes well for the jinchuuriki's future status as a Konoha shinobi. Yet I must raise again the question Danzo originally made. Has the boy managed to control the Kyuubi's chakra at all? And if not, how close is he to doing so?"

Jiraiya thinned his lips, bringing up one hand to idly scratch his nose as he weighed over just what to offer the Council. Truthfully, Naruto was still a long way from really using the Kyuubi's chakra, but… "I won't lie, Councilor. The failed mission and the circumstances in which his teammate was lost is weighing pretty heavily on Naruto's mind. He initially refused outright to have anything to do with the Fox's chakra, though I did manage to convince him that if he doesn't learn to control it, there might be a repeat of what happened in Nami no Kuni. Since then he's followed all of my instructions and has managed to come in contact with its chakra a few times, though its unconscious at best, and he has no clue that he's doing it."

Displeasure filled Homura and Koharu's faces while Danzo looked on passively. Shikaku had an expression of mingled curiosity and boredom. Through it all Hiruzen remained silent, eyes shuttering as the Hokage took everything in.

"As for how close he is - it's really hard to make a guess with that. Jinchuuriki training is hardly an exact science, and unlike the other villages Konoha has never made true attempt of actually using the Kyuubi as a military resource, it's incredibly volatile. I would make a very tentative guess that by the time the Chuunin Exams roll around that he'll at least be able to summon a little of the bijuu's chakra. I wouldn't expect miracles though."

"And the condition of the seal?" Shikaku queried, rising from his lazy slouch into a slightly stiffer posture. "Has it degraded since you've begun observing it?"

"Not to any appreciable degree, though it's not intended to be maintained indefinitely anyway. Minato constructed it with the intent for the jinchuuriki to eventually master the Kyuubi through will alone, and the seal will break down over time to allow Naruto to draw more and more of its power."

"Keep working with Naruto on accessing the power," The Hokage ordered, dark eyes fluttering back open as the Sarutobi pulled the pipe from his mouth. The wrinkles around Hiruzen's eyes tightened. "He needs to have a strong showing by the time the Chuunin Exams come about."

Raising a hand is slight question, Kakashi cut in as he dropped the limb back down to his side. "If I may, Hokage-sama? While I do recognize the importance of training Naruto to be able to access the Kyuubi's power, I feel that even without it he will be formidable for his age group by the time the Chuunin Exams come about. He learns quickly when he's motivated, and when he isn't struggling with his psychological state Naruto is unusually determined, even for a shinobi. It's become clear to me over the past two months that his Academy education must have been… lackluster to some degree, since he swiftly absorbed whatever I'm trying to teach him. His taijutsu has improved by leaps and bounds since entering ANBU, as has his knowledge of the shinobi world and the basic techniques we expect from all genin. If he were to take the Academy graduation exam today, I'm sure he would at the least place near the top portion of the class - rather than last place as he originally did."

A faint line drew between Danzo's brows as the Councillor leaned forward slightly, scar on his chin distorting with the motions of speech. "Jounin Hatake, are you implicitly suggesting that we focus on developing the jinchuuriki's other talents instead of attempting to push the boy into mastering the beast we inherited from the Shodai Hokage?"

Jiraiya shuffled from one foot to the other, fighting down the surge of annoyance as his sensei's former teammate pushed everything back around to the damned fox. Naruto was a good kid that was worth more than the gigantic lump of chakra Minato had sealed inside of him.

"Not at all, Honoured Councillor." Kakashi denied after a beat, drawing himself back up and squaring his shoulders proudly. "I simply wished to point out that even though Recruit Uzumaki is struggling with the Kyuubi no Youko, he is still a shinobi of Konoha with a great deal of potential. He _is_ the son of the Yondaime Hokage after all."

The councilors were momentarily taken aback, as if they had failed to process that information originally.

The son of the White Fang continued, "Even if Naruto's is unable to attain some form of mastery by the time the Chuunin Exams are held, I have full confidence that he will be able to make a strong showing for the public. If I extrapolate his current growth curve over the next four months, I wouldn't be surprised to see him attain Chuunin rank without relying on the fox at all."

Approval flashed across Hiruzen's face like a streak of lightning, noticeable only to the sennin that had been studiously observing the play of emotions written into his old sensei's expressions. "I agree, Jounin Hatake. We are forgetting that even though the Kyuubi is a formidable military asset, Konoha had managed to become the strongest of the hidden villages without needing to rely on it to get there. I would suggest that we focus less on trying to force Naruto into becoming a single-use asset and focus more on developing the boy into becoming a more rounded, and ultimately more successful, shinobi in service to the village."

"Very well Hiruzen." Danzo agreed after a beat, sounding slightly put out but conceding the point after a significant glance from the village's leader. "Though I would strongly suggest that you take a mission _soon_ , Jounin Hatake. It need not be overly strenuous, but it would be ideal to test the strength of your squad."

Swallowing down the sour burn at the back of his thought, Kakashi bowed to the Council. "I will give your suggestion much consideration, Honourable Councilor."

* * *

 **(AN - White):** This one just caps out 5200 words. This chapter rocked out to the Team America Soundtrack.

 **(AN - Ajax):** FUCK YEAH! Terrorize this!


	7. Seventh Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and we make no profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title- Fat bitch pls**

 **(AN - Ajax):** Back at it!

* * *

Peeling the otter mask from his face with a huff, Naruto clipped the porcelain to his belt and ran a hand through his ragged blonde strands. "Need a haircut," the jinchuuriki mumbled absently to himself as he brushed some overhanging blonde strands out of his eyes before slumping down on Squad Gamma's new couch with a thump.

Sasuke peered at the other ANBU recruit with a disinterested gaze before folding his arms over his chest and settling back to lean against the wall. The Uchiha had been summoned to their squad's office at The Roost with a burning left bicep and a terse mental message from Kakashi. ' _Report to the Roost. Hound-One out.'_

The two genin were the only ones that had shown up so far, and it was seeming more and more likely that Kakashi had started to slip back into his old habits of lateness. A faint chime sounded through the air as the clock struck four in the afternoon, and Sasuke sighed.

"Oi, dobe."

"Yeah bastard?"

"Any idea what this is about?"

"Not a sweet fucking clue."

"Hn."

"Good to see you're both here." Yugao greeted as she stepped into the room, clipping her cat-mask to her belt and kicking the door shut with her heel. "I take it Kakashi-sempai is lost on the road of life or something equally as ridiculous?"

"Yep." Naruto sighed, popping the 'p' and kicking his feet up on the brand new cocktail table that Yugao had purchased out of her own pocket - with a contribution from a grudging Sasuke. Oblivious to the twin glares of death digging into his lounging form, the Uzumaki scratched his nose with a sniff. "Though to be fair I guess we only got here ten minutes ago."

"Which leaves two hours and fifty minutes to go." Sasuke grumbled under his breath, breaking the murderous look he'd been favouring his teammate with to idly inspect his slightly scratched forearm guards. Fuu had done quite a number on him in their last training session.

"You know, I'm hurt." Kakashi moaned as he slipped into the room. "Really, I am. Here I am, working hard to make sure things go well for all my cute little kouhai while doing my part as a good citizen and helping old ladies cross the street. And then I come here and have to listen to you all badmouth me. I might even cry."

"You can cry?" Naruto snarked, quirking a blond eyebrow. "Wow. I thought you were a machine or something. Kakashi-Bot 5000, with new and improved excuses, available at the local supermarket for just 4999 Ryo. Buy now!"

Sasuke stared at the blonde boy.

"Right." Kakashi muttered after a drawn out moment, shuffling over to lean against the desk shoved in the far end of the room. "As riveting as this discussion is, I think we really should get to the point of this meeting."

Lowering herself down onto the other couch, Yugao ran an admiring hand over the unstained red cotton before giving Sasuke a significant look and patting the seat beside her meaningfully. The Uchiha stared back glumly before acquiescing to his kenjutsu instructor's silent order and gingerly joining her on the couch.

"Anytime, Hatake-taicho." the purple haired woman hummed, running an absent thumb over the sheath of the katana in her lap.

"Alright, alright." Kakashi drew a scroll from his pocket and tossed it to the swordswoman. "I've decided to request a mission for our squad. Gamma-Three has been together now for a couple of months and it's past time that we did some field work. While ANBU regulations technically don't set a minimum yearly mission requirement for a squad, the amount of downtime we've had is… unusual."

Snapping open the scroll, Yugao chewed her lip as she swiftly scanned over the document.

"The mission office has passed along a B-rank mission for us." the ANBU Captain continued, keeping a lazy eye on his lieutenant as she considered the mission parameters on the scroll. "A factory owner in Hokuryu has contracted Konoha to conduct a little corporate espionage and sabotage. We're to get into the targeted location, record pertinent financial information in the manager's office, and destroy the assembly lines beyond simple repair, without being detected of course."

Naruto bit the inside of his lip until the metallic taste of his own blood coated his tongue. Fisting his hands in his lap, the blond fought down the indignant rush in his veins that wanted to jump up and ask why the _hell_ they were playing toady to some corrupt bastard. The Uzumaki wasn't a child any longer, and he knew it. It was time to start living in reality, and the reality of shinobi was that they lied, cheated, stole, and killed for pay.

"Why are we doing something like this?" Sasuke cut in after a beat, hunching forward and propping his elbows on his knees. "I was under the impression that ANBU took missions that benefitted the village rather than some filthy slug's pocket."

"This does benefit the village." Kakashi disagreed, catching the scroll that Yugao tossed back to him and slipping into his pocket. "It benefits the village by testing the mettle of one of its ANBU squads. It benefits the village by maintaining its reputation of mission excellence. And it benefits the village by completing an assignment and having all proceeds go directly into village coffers."

"Hey now!" Naruto burst out, frowning indignantly. "If I'm going to have to do some dirty work I'd better be getting paid for it."

"You are getting paid for it." Yugao offered without batting an eye. "ANBU do not get paid on a mission to mission basis. If you've checked your bank account recently, you would have noticed that you're now being paid a monthly stipend that covers minimum cost of living with a few extra ryo in your pocket. Although I do suppose that any team that completes more than five missions a month or is assigned to specific duties like policing get bonus pay."

"There are a whole host of regulations about when you get extra pay or not." Kakashi waved off Yugao's explanation with an errant hand. "All you need to be concerned with right now Naruto is that it's time to earn your keep. I'll expect all of you at 0600 in full mission outfit back here in two days. You're all dismissed."

* * *

Sasuke's crimson eyes flickered rapidly between the two rapidly advancing figures. Anticipating the horizontal slash of an incoming wakizashi, Sasuke abruptly sidestepped and delivered a brutal palm strike underneath the man's elbow, driving him into his comrade.

"Maintain your balance, and recover more quickly." Fuu's clipped tone echoed throughout the darkened training room, slightly distorted by his mask. He stood a distance away, lightly obscured by the heavy darkness, observing the match with rapt attention.

Unsheathing a darkly gleaming tanto from a sheath behind his neck, the Uchiha fluidly blocked an underhanded blow from his other opponent, before unleashing a snap kick to the man's chest. Using the opening to gain some ground, Sasuke leapt backwards to create distance from his attackers after swiftly re-affixing the small blade to his back.

Hands moving in well-practiced forms, Sasuke raised his fingers to his lips before uttering a whispered, "Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu."

Several globs of flame erupted from the Uchiha's mouth, seeking out the two ROOT agents with ferocity. The agent to Sasuke's left rapidly formed a gust of wind to extinguish the flames, unveiling a brace of shuriken spinning underneath the cover of the inferno.

His two opponents suffered a variety of minor cuts from the shuriken, managing to deflect a great deal of the blades with armor and quickly drawn kunai.

As the raven-haired boy prepared another barrage of ninjutsu, a familiar sound halted his movement, and that of his sparring partners. The Ne shinobi lowered themselves to a knee and bowed their heads in the direction of the previously silent observer.

Shimura Danzo tapped his cane once more on the wooden floor.

Light burst into existence into the training room, forcing Sasuke to blink rapidly before standing in front of Konoha's Warhawk.

"An impressive performance, Uchiha-san. However, I will expect you to achieve non-verbal execution of ninjutsu in the future. In the field, being able to perform those techniques soundlessly will be critical to your operational success, regardless of the mastery required."

"I understand."

Danzo nodded with his unbandaged eye closed, and proceeded to point his cane to the two kneeling figures a small distance from Sasuke. "Report to the Den for further assignment."

With a short chorus of, "Hai, Danzo-sama," the two operatives exited the room with haste. Fuu bowed his head in deference, and remained in place.

Danzo kept silent for a moment, keeping the boy on edge, gauging his demeanor. The child had made significant progress from the confrontational, moody brat he had conscripted into ROOT two months previously. That same arrogant attitude lurked underneath the surface, but at least for now, the boy had learned some modicum of respect.

Danzo opened his visible eye, and gazed unemotionally at Sasuke. "Uchiha-san, I have been notified that you are to undertake a mission with your ANBU squad in two days time. Is this information correct?"

"Yes."

Without blinking, Danzo continued, "In the future, I will require you to notify me immediately as to your actions within ANBU Squad Gamma-Three. However, I will let this transgression slide, as you were previously uninformed as to my exact expectations."

Sasuke nodded tersely, his face kept in a newly learned state of tight emotional control.

"I am pleased that you came directly to the Den in search of further training, however, with an upcoming mission, you will stop strenuous physical activity until the time of your deployment."

Danzo proceeded to say, "The purpose for my visitation of you is directly in regards to your approaching assignment. In addition to the parameters of the mission that Hatake-san has chosen, you have an additional task to be completed over the course of your assignment."

Cocking his head slightly to the side, Sasuke let a somewhat puzzled expression marr his features.

Danzo turned his gaze directly into the eyes of his young protégé, his sole eye devoid of any warmth. "You will be eliminating a target while you proceed to carry out the original outlines of the mission. Additionally, you will carry this out without the knowledge of the jinchuuriki, Uzuki Yugao, or Hatake-san, to the best of your abilities."

Sasuke felt a slight tremor travel the length of his back, but managed to retain his composure flawlessly. After a period of silence, Sasuke spoke up, choosing his words carefully. "Danzo, may I inquire as to the exact purpose of this mission? Is there a criminal of some sort that I am to assassinate?"

Frowning at the search for justification, Danzo rebutted his protegé coldly. "The point of this task is simple: you will murder someone without previous provocation. For the purpose of your first cold-blooded kill, I do not particularly care if you choose to murder a man you deem to be guilty of some crime, or immoral in some fashion, just as I am indifferent to your choice of a woman or young child."

Recoiling very slightly, Sasuke attempted to cover his repugnance with a jerky nod.

Shimura Danzo continued, "I am confident that you have correctly guessed the true purpose of your additional assignment. You _will_ be blooded as a result of this mission. To fulfill your duties as a loyal shinobi of Konohagakure during the Chuunin Examinations, as well as for your future career, you will be required to kill without hesitation. Now, I will expect a memento of some sort to be delivered upon your return to the Den, am I understood?"

"Perfectly, Danzo-san."

"Excellent." Danzo pointed towards Fuu, and the man immediately hastened to his master's side. "Fuu will analyze the strengths and shortcomings that you demonstrated over the course of your spar, and operative Taru will join you shortly to cover intelligence-gathering strategies."

Before turning to leave, Danzo presented Sasuke with a final word. "Uchiha-san. You would do well to remember where your loyalties lie. ROOT, and the safety of Konohagakure, takes precedence over any order you receive, bar one directly from the Hokage himself." Lowering to a softer tone, Danzo proceeded to say, "You have placed your faith correctly. You will become the equal, or better, of your brother in time. Of this, I am sure."

* * *

Naruto blinked the tired grit out of his eyes as he trudged into Squad Gamma-Three's office at 0550. Yugao was already there, sitting on the desk and dragging a whetstone down the edge of her katana while her brown orbs took in the new arrival with cold professionalism through the eyeholes of her cat mask.

"You're almost late, dobe." Sasuke grunted in greeting from his spot draped horizontally over the green couch.

It only took a second of inner debate before Naruto threw his fatigued body into the second red couch, taking up the space with a satisfied purr. "Morning to you too, bastard."

"Naruto." Yugao interrupted as she pulled the whetstone one final time before sheathing her katana and pulling out Sasuke's tanto to sharpen it. While the Uchiha was responsible for the care of his own weapon, the ANBU lieutenant had discovered that sharpening a blade helped calm any pre-mission jitters, and was slightly overzealous with her habit. Naruto and Sasuke didn't complain when she offered to handle it for them.

"Yeah, Yugao-senpai?"

Stone slid over steel. "When we return from this mission, I'm going to start instructing you on how to use your tanto. It's standard issue, and I'd rather not see you get your foot cut off because you were swinging it about with no technique."

"Really? Thanks Yugao-sensei!"

The purple haired woman merely hummed under her breath, checking the sharp edge of Sasuke's blade before nodding in satisfaction. Sliding the tanto into its sheath, Yugao tossed the short sword over to the Uchiha before flicking a brown eye towards the clock.

0600.

A creak from the opening door mingled with the faint chime of the clock as Kakashi stepped into the office.

"No way." Naruto breathed in shock as Sasuke asked incredulously "You're on time?"

The dark eye sockets of the Hatake's dog mask observed the two genin for a silent beat before he turned to his lieutenant. "Everything ready to go?"

"He totally brushed it off." Naruto whispered to Sasuke, poking at the crow-masked boy's foot with an errant finger.

"Zip it, dobe." Sasuke ordered as he rolled to his feet, strapping the tanto to his back and stretching the stiff muscles of his neck. "Are we leaving?"

"In a moment, Sasuke." Kakashi replied, turning to his two students and folding his arms behind his back. When the silver haired male spoke again, there was no trace of their jovial jounin sensei in his tones. It was all the cold iron of an ANBU Captain. "From this point on, you no longer have names or previous identities. You are Crow-Five and Otter-Eight. I am Hound-One and she is Cat-Two. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." They replied after a moment, Naruto rising to his feet as well.

"Good. Communication will be nonverbal when possible, and orders will either be given through the seal matrix or in standard ANBU sign language. We will depart the village through the North Gate. Our mission parameters are to avoid detection, but if discovered you are to immediately silence any witnesses. Lethal force is permitted, but not required. Konoha's prestige and reputation will not be damaged if we are discovered over the course of the mission. You are not, however, under any circumstances to divulge the name or background of our employer. Is this understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Finally, standard regulation in the case of capture on this mission is suspended. If captured, you are not to do any harm to yourself, but are to await extraction. However, if the shinobi of another village become involved you are to immediately execute standard suicide orders if they capture you and remove you from Hi no Kuni. Are there any questions?"

"No sir," the genin replied.

"Good. Now follow me. First Otter-Eight, then Crow-Five. Cat-Two, you assume rear guard position."

"Hai."

Filing from the room in a silent line, Squad Gamma-Three departed the Roost and took off over Konoha's rooftops in the dim red light of the dawn.

* * *

Sasuke swallowed down a tired gasp as Kakashi ordered the squad to halt with a silent pulse through their tattoo seals. Sweat trickled down his back and collected in an uncomfortable clammy layer beneath his forearm guards. Naruto was doing little better - since the otter masked boy collapsed in a heap in front of the Uchiha the moment they touched down. A day and a half of rushed travel had taken its toll on their stamina.

Placing his back to a tree, Sasuke slid to the ground to catch his breath. The forest was full of little except the sounds of nature, but that didn't prevent Yugao taking a cautious lookout post in the tree above him.

"Hokuryu is two hours away." Kakashi murmured quietly as the ANBU Captain sunk down on his haunches beside the two tired genin. "We wait until nightfall, then move to infiltrate the target."

Nodding soundlessly, Naruto flopped back down on his back only to have Kakashi give his shoulder an impatient shake. ' _Danger unknown.'_ Burnt through the seal on his bicep, and with a mental curse the Uzumaki dragged himself up into a sitting position beside Sasuke.

Naruto _highly_ doubted that there was any danger for dozens of miles, but he wasn't going to get in an argument with Kakashi over it. Better to just assume a defensible posture rather than tempt whatever discipline the silver-haired man could cook up.

Sasuke peered up at the sky, judging from what little he could see of the sky through the canopy that sundown would hit in three or four hours. Danzo's unofficial mission weighed heavily on his mind, and thinking too much about it made bile surge up in the back of his throat.

It was one thing to imagine killing his traitorous older brother and finally attaining revenge, or killing someone who deserved it. But it was entirely another to just picture himself slitting some random civilian's throat for no real reason. Senseless murder was far too close to what Itachi would do. Yet what were Sasuke's options?

Refuse to follow Danzo's orders? Even if Sasuke was able to walk away from the man's secret organization with his life, he'd still be conscripted in ANBU. The question of cold murder would only be kicked further down the line, and the Uchiha would spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder for potential ROOT assassins.

Conceptually, Sasuke knew that he should just put on his big boy pants and follow orders. He'd given his word as an Uchiha that he'd do whatever Danzo asked him to do in exchange for the training he needed to get his vengeance. Plus - if Sasuke couldn't even kill some weakling, how could he assume that he'd be able to deliver the killing blow to Itachi?

Yet in the end Sasuke didn't _want_ to kill someone on the mission. Whoever's life ended at his hands was someone's parent, or sibling, or child who likely had never done anything to deserve a visitation from death that night.

But what choice did he have?

Drowning in his own thoughts, the Uchiha only took peripheral notice of the world around him.

Was this how Itachi had begun? Had his older brother truly been the kind and gentle person he remembered? Did the older Uchiha's murderous rampage come not from born malice but rather the slow breathing in of poison and icy psychosis during his service in Konoha's ANBU? Had Itachi simply followed orders, killing and killing and killing until one day the Uchiha prodigy snapped and killed everyone?

The thought was horrifying.

' _Mission commences in five minutes.'_ Seared through Sasuke's left arm, startling the boy and making him glance up. The blue of the afternoon sky had dimmed to a mingled red and purple while the Uchiha had been lost in his own head.

' _Status report?'_ Burnt clumsily over the seal matrix, and Sasuke snapped his attention in Naruto's direction. Worried blue eyes peered out of the otter mask at him, and the Uchiha found himself smirking beneath his mask with exaggerated arrogance.

' _Crow-Five ideal capacity. One squad member unable to engage in combat.'_ The Uchiha taunted back with a silent jeering finger, and by the way the blonde's blue eyes narrowed, Sasuke knew the clumsy insult hit home.

Naruto socked the raven with a punch to the arm, rising to his feet with an exaggerated swagger and crossing the small clearing. The tit-for-tat insults were familiar and touched along the fragile bond between them that they were hesitant to acknowledge in the wake of Sakura's death. The bond would likely snap with the application of another true strain, yet both boys found themselves reluctantly stepping back from unforgivable words or actions. Neither was quite willing to put a stop to the exchanges that others might tentatively label the barest beginnings of a friendship.

' _Mission commences'_ burnt through four ANBU tattoos, and with a rustle of leaves four shinobi vanished into the trees.

* * *

Hatake Kakashi raised his hand abruptly after landing on the branch of a large tree, just outside the village proper. The three members of his squad landed in his direct vicinity, Naruto precariously managing to stop his forward momentum in time to avoid making a fool out of himself.

The white-haired jounin slid his mask into place, sending a short shock of chakra through his team's connected ANBU tattoos, an indication for them to follow his lead. Sending forth a complicated string of hand signals, slightly slowed for the benefit of the ANBU Recruits in the squad, Kakashi instructed each member to fan out over the rooftops after scaling the small outer wall.

Sticking hands and the balls of his feet to the wall, the ANBU Captain adroitly bypassed the rather pitiful fortification, landing silently on the opposite side. Kakashi quickly climbed up to the rooftop, and was pleased to see that Naruto specifically was able to carry out preliminary orders without a hitch.

Having already observed maps of the village with the team, Kakashi remained low to the rooftops as he scuttled across silently, indicating separate paths for his underlings to follow en route to the mission site.

Kakashi stopped on the last roof before the target, settling into a crouch on the rusty metal shingles and waiting until the rest of the squad had formed up around him. Passively noting three dark outlines settling into position on nearby rooftops, the ANBU Captain sent a concentrated surge of chakra through the seal tattooed to his bicep.

' _Infiltration of village successful. Move to phase two, record data found on second floor, stay aware of possible threats.'_

With the message successfully sent out, Kakashi leaped onto the side of the metal edifice, prying open the window with a concentrated allocation of wind chakra to cut open the lock.

Relying on terse hand movements, he waved in the rest of his squad, indicating to enter the building through the opening he made.

After seeing the unit successfully into the building, Kakashi followed into the rather tight fit, landing slightly harder than he would have liked. Brushing himself off quickly, Kakashi let loose a flurry of signals indicating which side of the room he wanted to everyone to operate in. ' _You have your orders.'_

Papers flooded the upper level of the warehouse, stuck out in haphazard heaps like enormous piles of trash. With a heavy breath, Kakashi began investigating various cabinets for the specific documentation they were looking for.

After a period of just under ten minutes, a soft 'Yatta!' was uttered by Naruto, waving a leather bound journal in his hand triumphantly.

' _Silence!'_. A sharp flare of chakra burned through Naruto's shoulder, cutting him off abruptly and causing the jinchuuriki to blanch. ' _You know the mission, Otter-Eight. Verbal communication must only be used as a last resort.'_

Snatching the journal out of Naruto's hands, the jounin expertly sealed the documents into a scroll conveniently placed at his belt. Gazing around the upper floor with a sense of finality, Kakashi released another message.

' _Otter-Eight and Cat-Two, stay on the second floor. Prepare to burn the rest of the documents. Crow-Five, with me to plant explosive tags.'_

Jumping off the balcony gracefully, Kakashi immediately began periodically spacing the seals, with Sasuke starting at the opposite side of the room. After a period of little over a minute, Kakashi heard a loud crash resonate throughout the room, its source being his genin subordinate.

Sasuke hung his head apologetically, but snapped to attention as two rather drunk guardsmen stumbled into the room.

Too clumsy.

Before Kakashi managed to reach the two men, Sasuke had already reached the doorway that they had entered from, seemingly having anticipated men entering through that direction. Kakashi narrowed his eyes suspiciously as Sasuke rammed kunai through the temples of the men that burst in, no emotion detected through the stony visage of Sasuke's porcelain mask.

Nodding at a job well done, Kakashi returned to his previous duty of placing explosive tags, with a newfound interest in Sasuke's actions. While the boy may have thought no one noticed him quietly slicing off a finger from both freshly minted corpses, Kakashi observed with quiet clarity, worry blooming in his veins.

It was no great secret that the stress of ANBU and killing could get to a person and over time corrupt them from healthy members of society to psychotic murderers. Yet it usually took months, if not years, to get to that point. Had Sasuke's experiences with his brother as a child and on the failed Wave mission broken his psyche?

"Sasuke." the jounin mouthed to himself, casting a cautious eye about the warehouse. Kakashi was breaking his own mission parameters, but this was _important_. More important than maintaining the perfect military facade of an easy mission. Naruto and Yugao were still on the second floor, which gave Kakashi a bit of time and privacy to confront the issue before the Uchiha had plausible deniability. Cautiously, he stepped up and nudged a toe at one of the body's severed knuckles "Why did you do that?"

Red sharingan eyes blazed through the eye holes of Sasuke's crow mask, toe tomoe spinning lazily in each crimson pupil as the dark haired boy stared up at the ANBU Captain. Tense rigidity curled through every muscle as the Uchiha stood at anxious attention before the boy offered a low "I had no choice."

"You had _no choice_." Kakashi frowned behind the porcelain surface of his mask, black lens fading to reveal one dark eye and one fully mature sharingan. "What do you mean you had no _choice_? Did someone make you do this?"

Sasuke clenched his fists and maintained a sullen silence as he glared up at the balcony. Neither Naruto nor Yugao seemed likely to come and give him a lucky out of the impromptu interrogation. "I can't tell you that." The Uchiha gritted out in a defeated tone.

"Cannot or _will_ not?"

" _Cannot_."

That was both pleasing and worrying to the jounin. If Sasuke simply didn't want to tell him, that would have suggested the boy had simply chosen to do it. But the fact that the Uchiha couldn't tell him - someone must have coerced him somehow. At least Sasuke wasn't psychotic yet, though the fact that someone could intimidate the usually arrogant boy remained. Yet _who_ could do something like that? Sasuke hadn't left the village recently, and there'd been no reported infiltrations.

 _Tenzo_.

Suspicion and old anger bubbled up in Kakashi's gut as the Hatake remembered his old friend. Remembered what the younger man said and _couldn't_ say, seized up as he was with the cursed seal burning his tongue.

"Sasuke." Kakashi breathed, casting another quick glance up to make sure his other subordinates hadn't gotten curious and come looking for them. "Take off your mask and show me your tongue."

The face beneath the crow mask was pale and sweaty, but the Uchiha obeyed with a shaking hand. The game was up, and when Sasuke stuck out his tongue at the jounin in grotesque imitation of a young child, Kakashi saw it. Inky lines bloomed dark and poisonous at the back of the boy's tongue.

Kakashi swore quietly under his breath. _ROOT_. He'd suspected that Sasuke had been wrapped up in something over his head. Special training regimen and instructors, his ass.

"Put the mask back on." the jounin ordered sharply. "We'll speak about this later. Don't worry." Kakashi softened the end of his tone. It wasn't Sasuke's fault that he was still young and easily manipulated. The Uchiha wasn't the actual target of his ire. "I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks." Sasuke sighed in relief, shoving the porcelain back on. At least it seemed like he could still wring out a false completion for the little murder mission Danzo had sent him on.

' _Resume silent communication protocol.'_ With mechanical motions Kakashi finalized the placement of explosives around the miniature factory, not enough to demolish the building, merely render the machinery unusable.

Instructing Sasuke with rapid hand motions, the two ascended to the upper level with feline grace, immediately spotting the crouched figures of Naruto and Yugao. Bringing hands together in front of his chest, Kakashi murmured a quiet, "Kai."

Explosions rocked the lower level, sending a wave of smoke to obscure the upper area. Following quickly, Otter-Eight and Cat-Two set fire to the remaining documentation, before the entire quad exited back to the rooftops.

Without a backwards glance, ANBU Squad Gamma-Three dashed over the rooftops, less concerned with stealth than speed, after a short burst of chakra sent by the captain.

Reaching the treeline without further trouble, Kakashi gave a meaningful glance towards the members of his squad, before moving into the darkness.

* * *

 **(AN - Ajax):** A bit over 5000 words here. A certain writing partner of mine is rather taken by the idea of… a thousand chapters, for a thousand nights. Scary.

 **(AN - White):** I wanted to address a point that was raised by Lord Trollbias. Orochimaru didn't kill Rasa until between the preliminaries and the exam finals. But no, Rasa isn't going to get ganked by Orochimaru. Rasa is powerful, and I wouldn't doubt that an enemy village would issue flee-on-sight orders against him. The prospect of his retaliation prevented a group of Iwa shinobi from attacking a group of Konoha nin at the tail end of the Third Shinobi World War.

Yet Orochimaru wastes him like an American does a McDonald's cheeseburger and no one is the wiser? Come on. While Orochimaru could possibly kill Rasa, their battle would surely be enough of a clash to at least be _noticed_ by people.


	8. Eighth Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and we make no profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title - Shove a glue gun on muh dik**

 **(AN - White):** I wish people would stop asking me if I've abandoned my fics. I'll make it very clear if I do.

* * *

Thick tendrils of mist hung lethargically over the water, sprawling across the small island. Rocks and vegetation dotted the landscape haphazardly, mostly obscured by the dense fog.

"Perfect." Zabuza Momochi adopted a wry grin underneath a wad of bandages covering his face, cocking his head slightly as he sized up his surroundings.

"Zabuza-sama?"

The Demon of the Hidden Mist spared a glance for the figure behind him, long black hair framing the expressionless mask of a Kirigakure Oinin Butai. The faded crimson kanji for rain disrupted the pure white porcelain of Haku's mask. It sent a ripple of nostalgia through Zabuza's muscles. Old memories of a once upon a time where he was an eager young pup serving his nation's black ops.

"This is where it will be decided. The strong will always overcome the weak, Haku."

Zabuza planted his sword firmly into the ground, curling fingers around the hilt lazily as he gazed into the fog with a penetrating gaze, eyes widening slightly as he noticed a hint of red in the distance.

"Finally." the man growled.

Haku shortened the distance between himself and his master, betraying a need to protect the one who had saved him, with tensed shoulders beneath his baggy haori. "Are you sure about this, Zabuza-sama?"

Zabuza ignored Haku's worried question as he spared a backwards glance towards the group behind him. A collection of various nuke-nin he had accumulated after the chaos in Wave lined up haphazardly behind the swordsman and his protege.

Replacing the Demon Brothers had been relatively easy - hundreds of lost souls wandered in search of purpose among the isles of Water Country, and men without purpose had jumped at the chance to make something of themselves.

There was a sickness rotting the soul of Mizu no Kuni. Men who would once have fished the stormy seas and kept faith in their futures instead murdered each other for imagined slights and drowned themselves in cheap wine. Women who once would carry themselves with dignity now whored on the streets for coin and opium to dull the pain of their existence. At the root of the disease hollowing out the country laid that little _shitstain_ Yagura - a man who the Demon of the Hidden Mist would make sure paid for his crimes.

"Are you alright, Zabuza-sama?" Haku asked cautiously.

Recoiling slightly, Zabuza realized with a string of his palm that he had been shaking from gripping the handle of his Kubikiribocho so tightly.

"I'm fine," the swordsman muttered dismissively, turning his eyes back on the rapidly approaching boat in the moment of truth approached.

The vessel appeared to be a retrofitted fishing boat, well-suited to slipping out of a harbor unseen, unnoticed. The Demon of the Hidden Mist counted three figures accompanying his rival. Zabuza performed a quick series of hand signals, and his renegade shinobi formed a semicircle around him.

Cracking his neck with a violent series of pops, Zabuza grinned, shivering with anticipation.

* * *

Terumi Mei stepped confidently off the boat, shoes sinking slightly into the waterlogged peat that covered the isolated island and wrinkling her nose. "Disgusting. Why did we agree to meet here again?"

"This used to be an old fortress during the Second Shinobi World War," Ao explained as he followed Mei. "I'm surprised Zabuza didn't call off this arrangement - it's rather exposed for him."

 _Old. Call off. Arrangement?_

Standing stock-still for a moment, Mei smashed Ao's face into the surf with a clawed hand and knelt down to gently whisper in his ear, "Ao. Shut up, or I'll kill you."

Ao blanched, and without moving a muscle despite his mouthful of sand, waited for his mistress to cool down.

'"What did I say?"

Tsurugi and Yagyu Ran moored the boat against the soil, eyeing each other nervously before following their seemingly mollified leader.

Mei continued into the center of the small muddy isle, retaining her confidence as she stepped in front of the bandaged swordsman and his underlings. "I thought we agreed to only bring a _small_ escort, Momochi-san?"

Zabuza gave a low grunt in return, removing his massive cleaver from the earth with a swift motion and hefting it over a meaty shoulder. "Our little arrangement will remain solely between us, I assure you."

With a sweeping gesture of his left hand Zabuza continued, "They are merely here as humble _observers_."

Mei tossed back her crimson hair and laughed, before gazing directly into the Demon of the Bloody Mist's cold eyes. "I love a strong man who doesn't need anyone's help to resolve his problems. And I _have_ wondered what you look like underneath that mess of bandages."

Giving a small pout as Ao silently rejoined the bodyguards behind the redhaired woman, Mei chuckled lowly. "Hmph. I suppose we'll find out soon enough! Are you ready to begin our little contest, Momochi-san?"

With a slow inclination of his head, Zabuza motioned for his party to remove themselves from the immediate battlefield, as Mei indicated the same.

Grinning ferally underneath his wad of bandages, Zabuza leapt back as his hands motioned a swift series of signs. "Kirigakure no jutsu!" Mist exploded out on the island, blanketing the island in white streamers.

Jumping back several feet, Mei's body tensed as she gazed around into the pure nothingness surrounding her.

Mei smirked, driving away her discomfort with pure willpower. "I thought you would be more inventive than this, oh infamous wielder of the Kubikiribocho." Rolling her eyes to emphasize her insult, the red haired woman stuck her tongue out at the roiling clouds of mist. "I suppose you can't teach an old dog new tricks!"

Pressing a finger against the plump curve of her pink lips, Mei spewed an enormous globule of magma in a roiling whirring cone, liquefying a tree that happened to stand in the way, its twisted, skeletal form obscured by the roiling fog.

Zabuza chuckled, his voice carrying ominously across the entire island. "Even a someone with as valuable a bloodline as yours cannot find me here. This mist is _my_ domain, _my_ home. You may know of the bloody mist, but I was _born_ in it!"

Mei barely sensed a whoosh of air approaching her leg. Escaping being hamstrung by mere millimeters, the redhead lunged into a forward roll before she curled back unsteadily to her feet.

As she stumbled forwards slightly, the massive blade caught her forearm from the opposite direction, opening a shallow, freely bleeding wound on her left bicep. Red liquid poured freely from the gash.

Mei recovered by throwing herself backwards, slapping a hand wreathed in green medical jutsu against the burning slice that dug into her muscle, flexing her hand cautiously to make sure the recently healed cut hadn't damaged any nerves, the woman smirked in satisfaction.

Zabuza's voice boomed out from all directions at once, distorted by the chakra of mist jutsu. "So many places to strike. A slice at the jugular artery, or the femoral. A puncture of a kidney, the liver, or even the heart. So many places to strike. So many ways to die!"

Lashing out with a myriad of silent water jutsu, Mei sent bullets of compressed glimmering liquid flying at incredible speeds in a variety of directions, hoping to strike Zabuza with a lucky shot while she pulled up defensive sheets of water.

"But you are too useful to waste in a battle like this." Zabuza's deep voice sighed, sounding regretful at the missed chance for pure slaughter. "Yagura will be stopped, and you will help me seek retribution!" The swordsman continued, tone rising with every word. "Spare yourself the pain, and kneel, woman!"

An enormous disc of water flew at the redhead through the pale clouds, followed swiftly by the spinning form of Zabuza's enormous glinting blade.

Gracefully dodging the pair of missiles, Mei shouted, "Enough!" Releasing steam at an enormous rate, Mei boiled the air surrounding her, grinning victoriously as she heard a pained grunt to her right.

Whipping about, Mei swiftly launched a globule of lava where she last heard her opponent, substituting the deadly outpouring of acid steam with burning magma.

Zabuza rolled to avoid the attack, dispersing his mist to carry away the remnants of burning gas with it. Looking Mei in the eyes with a murderous scowl, the Demon of the Hidden Mist ripped off the melted bandages on his face, peeling away a layer of bubbling skin along with it.

"Oh, not so pretty as I would have imagined!" Mei mocked sarcastically, curving one corner of her plump mouth into a sneer. "Although, I'm sure you're quite handsome when you actually have a face!" She laughed uproariously, doubling over as she wiped tears from her eyes.

Growling as he removed the Kubikiribocho from where it impaled a tree, Zabuza grimaced as he saw the lower end of the blade melted away, similarly to his exposed skin.

Slinging the half-destroyed blade over his shoulder, Zabuza rushed towards his foe, still wielding his half a blade with the impeccable skill learnt from years of combat.

Matching the incredibly fast strike with a raised kunai from her side, Mei shuddered under the impact of the sword as blazing yellow sparks scattered furiously through the muggy air. " _What monstrous strength!"_ the redhead thought to herself as she struggled to pushed back the cleaver with shaking limbs.

The two combatants stood still for a moment, before Mei lashed out with a sweeping kick to Zabuza's legs.

Evading the strike, Zabuza reversed his grip and smashed Mei's in the nose with a brutal thrust of his sword's hilt.

Gripping her face with a tight hand, Mei scowled past the throbbing ache in her face as rivulets of blood dripped down her blue dress.

"I always repay my debts," Zabuza muttered grimly over the crack of cartilage, as his opponent snapped her broken nose back into place with little hesitation.

The two launched at each other again, Zabuza meeting Mei's overhand strike with a concealed kunai in his offhand, wielding his half-blade with one hand. With a vicious kick to Mei's stomach, the swordsman sent the dual bloodline wielder flying through a nearby tree, splintering it with her impact.

Rising quickly, Mei spat out a river of magma, creating a haphazard ring around the two shinobi. Wiping a mixed trickle of molten rock and blood from her mouth, Mei smiled wryly, "Is that all you've brought to play with?"

Zabuza rushed forwards, but was abruptly stopped by a wall of blazing lava that was spat out in front of him. Launching off the dried wall of rock to his right like a springboard, Zabuza met Mei in a flurry of shrieking shuriken, dark stars of steel bouncing off each other in random directions.

Deflecting a stray kunai with the base of his blade, Zabuza created a pair of water clones to surround Mei with a one handed seal and a surge of chakra. Each clone stomped in, swinging at her legs as the true swordsman launched a flurry of water bullets at his opponent.

Crouching to avoid the incoming missiles from the real Zabuza, Mei impaled the clones with a kunai in each hand, water splattering as the chakra forms gave beneath her strikes.

Zabuza looked up with satisfaction, then he darted with blinding speed to place his hand on Mei, dropping the battered Kubikiribocho in the mud to increase his agility. Creating a sphere of water around his redhaired opponent with both hands, the Shinobi Swordsman swallowed the urge to sigh with relief.

Laughing freely, Zabuza asked the erstwhile leader of the Kirigakure resistance, "Do you concede?" He truly looked like a demon, with patches of skin loosely clinging to burnt areas of skin across his body grotesquely and pink patches of muscle peeking through the blackened strips of skin.

Shouting something incomprehensible underneath the bubble, Mei pursed her lips into a spewing 'O'. The water clouded instantly, and Zabuza was forced to recoil from the intense heat underneath his palm.

Exploding outwards in a burst of heat and steam, Mei impaled Zabuza's hand with a kunai. The hit was reciprocated by Zabuza's reactionary slice to her side with a concealed knife, carving a burning line over the curve of the redhead's ribs.

With twin snarls of pain, the shinobi leapt backwards from each other, Zabuza recovering his blade from the befouled mud while Mei nursed her wounds gingerly.

Placing the seemingly irreversibly damaged blade against his crimson coated hand, Zabuza watched coolly as the Kubikiribocho drank the blood of its master, growing in length as it was restored to its previous condition.

With a feral grin that exposed teeth sharpened to fangs, Zabuza launched forwards, oblivious to his seeping wounds, preparing a sideways swipe of his incredibly long cleaver.

Ducking under the blade, Mei launched upwards acrobatically to deliver a savage kick to Zabuza's chin, launching him into the artificial rock wall she created with a half hand seal to the sound of a horrifying crack. Taking a moment to recover, Mei straightened and watched Zabuza carefully, insuring that he was incapacitated.

Mei approached the unconscious form of Momochi Zabuza with trepidation, holding her kunai against his neck before whispering back to the man, "Do _you_ concede?"

Mei's shoulder was roughly ripped out of its socket as Zabuza rose from the ground, whipping Mei across his shoulder, and slamming her into the ground with a violent thud and the faint pained squeak the red haired woman released.

Letting go of Mei's arm, which poked out unnaturally from the top of her rotator cuff, Zabuza slipped his heavily muscled arm around her neck and squeezed. The swordsman shouted gleefully, "Yield!"

Screaming her fury and pain, acidic steam poured out of Mei's mouth, forcing Zabuza to recoil after he experienced further burns on his previously injured skin.

Mei coughed up a mouthful of bloody saliva with an expression of pure rage as she rose to her feet and turned to face her enemy.

Coating her workable fist in molten slag, Mei approached her stumbling opponent with one outstretched arm, stopping her hand at the Demon of the Bloody Mist's throat. The smouldering appendage singed his neck with its proximity to the heat.

Zabuza had no defense, and merely dropped his weapons with arms raised to the side, glowering at the smouldering hand underneath his chin with unveiled animosity.

"I yield."

Mei's demeanor immediately shifted from murder to playfulness. "Good then! I look forward to working with you, Momochi-san."

Zabuza looked on, incredulous as Terumi Mei sauntered off, hips swaying as she leisurely blasted a hole in her rock wall, releasing a sharp whistle to indicate the conclusion of their confrontation.

As both parties arrived to the scene, jaws hanging open, Mei smiled happily, "It seems as though I've won. Zabuza's team here will be joining our resistance, as was the condition for his loss. Welcome to the Resistance! Oh, and we both will likely require medical attention."

Mei promptly sagged into Ao's quickly outstretched arms, and was hurriedly laid down to begin preliminary bandaging by Ran. The Yagyu kunoichi favoured her mistress' opponent with a sour look as she tied off the pale strips around Mei's wounds.

Haku and the mercenary shinobi rushed to Zabuza's side, where Haku rapidly began dressing Zabuza's wounds with crushed herbs and mint-green salves from her pouch.

Laying down with reluctant submission to Haku's doctoring and his own fatigue, the swordsman muttered, "She was strong, and I was weak. Perhaps she'll be the one to take Yagura's head before I do..." his voice trailed off as he relinquished himself to Haku's tender care.

* * *

Kakashi thumbed over the well-worn surface of his copy of the first volume of Icha- Icha Paradise. The orange cover was almost an old friend, and even though the jounin wasn't in the mood to dive into the fantastical world of smut, the familiarity calmed him.

Lounging in the hallway that lead down to the Hokage's office, Kakashi spared a side-along look for the Sandaime's steely-eyed secretary as the woman went about her business. Sasaki Umeko had chin-length green hair, a thick red scar curling up from the right corner of her lip to her cheekbone, and more rumors surrounding her than that of a skilled whore.

' _Come'_ burnt through Kakashi's arm like a brand, and the ANBU Captain turned his back on the probable black ops agent manning the desk to politely let himself into the Sandaime's office.

The thick smell of spiced tobacco filled the air, given shape by the slow trails of smoke that spiraled out from the Hokage's nostrils. Orange light painted Sarutobi's white and red official attire as the dying afternoon sun reached gentle fingers through the windows.

None of it quite managed to draw attention from the hardness of Hiruzen's gaze. The visible steel of the Sandaime's eyes contrasted with the velvet softness and welcoming curve of his mouth.

"Kakashi." Hiruzen greeted, ember coals glowing in the bowl of his kiseru as he took another short puff. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Swallowing down the bubbling panic over the fact that his student was enrolled into a notoriously psychopathic black ops program, Kakashi gave a grim smile behind the dark cloth of his mask. "There were some interesting developments on our mission, Hokage-sama, and I thought it was best if I came straight to you about them."

Hiruzen frowned, wrinkled corners of his mouth tugging fiercely down. "What sort of _developments_ , Kakashi? I looked over your mission details myself. It was below your skillset and you would have had no trouble completing it. Did Naruto show some signs that his mental state is deteriorating again?"

Kakashi shook his head slowly, taking a deep breath before plunging right to the heart of the matter. "No, it wasn't Naruto. Sasuke was the issue, Hokage-sama. He deliberately planned our discovery by civilian guards for the express purpose of killing them. Furthermore, he cut trophies from their bodies. I confronted him on the spot, but he told me he _had_ to do it, that he was required to. I examined his tongue myself, and I'm forced to conclude that he's been conscripted into the supposedly disbanded ROOT program."

"I know of Sasuke's involvement in Ne."

"You _knew_? Pardon the disrespect Hokage-sama, but if you knew then why haven't you _done_ something about it? I was responsible for Tenzo - I know very well what sort of madness Danzo's little puppet program can infect people with."

The shadows under Hiruzen's eyes deepened as the Sandaime sagged forward slightly, bent under every one of his sixty-eight years. "Because it was a necessary sacrifice. Uchiha Sasuke's remaining innocence for Uzumaki Naruto's life. I am the Hokage, but that does not make me an unassailable dictator. The distribution of power in the Council makes Konoha more democratic than many other hidden villages, but it also ties my hands. A bargain had to be made."

Half-formed thoughts hopped back and forth in Kakashi's head, inferences slipping from his grasp like fragile mist. "A bargain with Danzo then? Was that wise, Sandaime-sama?"

"It was the only choice. Homura and Koharu have been less than pleased the moment I decided to keep Naruto entirely ignorant as to his heritage and status as a jinchuuriki. The ANBU Commander has expressed his reservations on the same issue numerous times. Rationally, I suppose I was wasting time thinking I could give Naruto-kun a proper childhood, especially when the adult population knows of his condition."

"It wasn't a waste…" Kakashi contested after a quiet moment, shuffling in place. Minato would never have wanted his son to be raised like a weapon. Maybe it prevented Naruto from gaining power as a shinobi early on, but innocence and years of clean hands were priceless.

Waving aside his musings with a hand, Hiruzen returned to the point with a sigh. "Ultimately, it was Danzo's support that kept Naruto from being disposed of and replaced with a more malleable jinchuuriki. But that support wasn't free. I had to buy it by permitting him to have access to Sasuke. I did put some caveats in place to protect him, but I've only had Danzo's word and your observations so far to provide proof they've been followed."

"What sort of _caveats_ , Hokage-sama?"

"Sasuke is not to be conditioned as other agents in _Ne_ have been. He cannot simply vanish into the shadows. He is to remain as visible in the village as the fame of his family name would demand. While he is 'affiliated' with ROOT, he is still an ANBU agent and his first loyalty is to the village."

Frustration boiled through Kakashi's veins. The ANBU forces themselves were a career that stretched a man's sanity. The constant cycle of murder, dying comrades, and back-to-back missions took their toll on the hardiest of men. The ROOT program was another basket altogether. Tenzo still woke from time to time with a cold sweat in the night from the nightmares, and he'd been out from underneath Danzo's shadow for years. If they left Sasuke under that man's guidance…

"Ne will ruin him."

Hiruzen rose abruptly to his feet, striding around the desk to stand directly before Kakashi and stare up at the jounin's masked face. A grim smile slashed itself over the Sandaime's aged face, and the Sarutobi clan leader set a firm hand over Kakashi's shoulder.

"It won't, because you will be there for him."

"Hokage-sama?"

"Be there for Sasuke." Hiruzen commanded, heat flaring in his dark eyes. "Now that you know the truth of Sasuke's circumstances and what he will find himself being forced to give up in the process, I want you to be there for him. Facilitate his missions. Push his training and development as a warrior. Support him when he finds that his world is starting to crumble down around him. Sasuke does not need to remain in ROOT forever. Only as long as it takes Naruto to prove the value of his life. So until that day, Sasuke will need someone to be there for him. Can I count on that person being you?"

Snapping into a crisp military salute, the ANBU captain met Hiruzen's gaze with equal fire. "Hai, Hokage-sama."

* * *

The two fingers tucked away in his kunai pouch had just begun to swell up with rot and the stink of death. They were unbelievably heavy for such small things. Or perhaps the weight was all in Sasuke's mind. The weight of his sins.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Sasuke slunk into The Den, slipping through the sewers of Konoha and into ROOT's headquarters like a thief in the night.

Two nameless agents with white and purple hair, respectively, were sparring. Ferocious movements were carefully observed by the Uchiha's target. They broke apart after one final exchange of fists, panting with the exertion.

"Again." Danzo commanded even as he turned away, single visible eye piercing through the darkness to settle on Sasuke's quiet form. The sound of flesh striking flesh rose again, and the ROOT Commander silently crooked a summoning finger to the Uchiha before leaving the room.

Sparing a glance at the operatives of the ROOT program, Sasuke thinned bloodless lips beneath the porcelain of his mask before turning to follow after Danzo. The councilor and Ne recruit did not travel far, only shuffling down two hallways before the Uchiha was urged into a storage room.

Silence hung in the air for a long moment as Danzo cursorily scanned the cramped storage room, making Sasuke's lip curl beneath his mask with a dark tang of amusement. Even in the heart of his own power, it seemed that Danzo was never one to let his guard down.

"You have completed your assignment." Danzo stated coolly in a tone that brokered no argument as he held out a weathered palm. Waiting only long enough for Sasuke to drop the bloated knuckles that had been cut from the corpse of his first kill, the ROOT Commander inspected the rotting keepsakes.

Passing the pair of knuckles back to the Uchiha, Danzo affixed his visible dark eye on the genin and gave a low rumble of inquiry. "Were you discovered?"

Sweat prickled on Sasuke's palms as his heart gave a sudden lurch. He'd already made his decision the moment Kakashi had confronted him in the shadowy warehouse about his little 'trophies'. But it was one thing to decide on guile dozens of miles away, and another to have to do it to the Warhawk's face.

"I wasn't." Sasuke lied, thankful for the concealing porcelain that was pressed to the clammy skin of his face. Not a single twitch of muscle escaped from Sasuke's iron wrought control, each beat of his heart a silent chant. ' _Liar. Liar. Liar.'_

After a silent searching moment, Danzo grunted in assent. "Acceptable. Dispose of those trophies. They are unnecessary and holding onto them would be a useless sentiment."

Sasuke could barely contain the rush of relief that weakened his knees. Not trusting his voice, the Uchiha forced out a smooth nod of assent.

"Come." Danzo ordered after a beat, turning away and striding away from the room with the clicking of his cane on the stone floor. "Now that you have been successfully blooded, it is time that we turn your focus ahead to the upcoming Chuunin Exams. In four months Konoha will be hosting three of the Five Great Shinobi Countries, as well as several minor villages. As such, the upcoming exams will be an extremely important event. Do you understand why?"

Red eyes blinked as Sasuke stepped around a kneeling ROOT agent that had prostrated at the sight of her commander. "With so many villages in attendance, everyone will be watching."

"This is true," Danzo agreed in a cool tone, "But that is not a complete answer. The strength of a village is its shinobi, and to the public, the village that dominates the chuunin exams must have the strongest shinobi. When a client hires a village, he prefers the most skilled of their operatives, and where are the most skilled ninja from? The village with the strongest shinobi."

Leading Sasuke to the Den's suiton training room, Danzo came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the grey iron bridge that arched over the flowing sewer canal. "Once upon a time Konoha could count on the Uchiha clan and its Sharingan to provide strong contenders for many Chuunin Exams. Now, there is only one Uchiha left to Konoha."

The ROOT Commander's dark eye drilled into Sasuke's crimson gaze. "You cannot simply be an Uchiha. You must be _the_ Uchiha. You must show such ability that it is clear to the enemies of Konoha that there is still strength left in its founding clans. Over the next four months you will train until your hands bleed, and then you will train further. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." Sasuke bit out, squeezing his hands into fists as his spine straightened with a mixture of anticipation and pride. He would be lying if he claimed not to be at least slightly intimidated. But this was exactly what Sasuke had hungered for. A regimen that would beat strength into his bones come hell or high water.

"Good. Now," Snapping his weathered fingers, Danzo summoned a vaguely familiar rat-masked Ne recruit. "Remove your masks."

Porcelain peeled away from two similarly pale-skinned faces beneath strands of equally dark-tinted hair. The rat masked recruit was half a head shorter than the crow masked one, but despite the height difference they could have believably passed for fraternal twins.

"Recruit Uchiha, this is Recruit Forty-Three - codenamed Sai for the duration of his assignment to Squad Gamma-3. He will be the third member of your three man cell for the first two tasks of the Chuunin Examinations. I expect the two of you to offer one another your full cooperation on fulfilling mission objectives."

"Yes sir." Sasuke murmured in unison with Sai. It was unnerving to come face-to-face with a boy that in another life could have been him. Similar hair and eye colour, with a similar skin tone and even similar aristocratic bone structures to their young faces. The only significant difference between them was that while Sai's coal-dark orbs absorbed light like dull ink, Sasuke's revolved between dark steel and blazing red - lit up by a spark of inner defiance and life.

"Dismissed."

* * *

Wood slammed into plaster with an enormous crack as Naruto sauntered into his apartment. The blonde peeled off his ANBU gear, dumping the sweat coated cloth and porcelain in a tangled mess on the floor.

It seemed like every muscle of his body ached, remembering the punishing pace that Kakashi had set when they're returned from their mission. It was a bit silly, as far as Naruto was concerned, since they'd completed the mission and it wasn't like anyone was hounding after their asses. But old 'Hound-One' was the boss, and when the boss told him to jump, he jumped.

Digging his tongue into the cracks between his teeth, Naruto gave a last ditch automatic effort to find any lingering pieces of ramen before the blonde threw himself into the shower.

"Ahh, that's nice!' Naruto moaned, laying down in a boneless heap and letting the pitter patter of water droplets beat into his skin. For the first time in a long time he felt - not happy - but at least satisfied. It was such a small thing, but completing a mission as a team without problems or blood meant something to him.

Blue orbs cracked open, staring dully at the faintly dirty white tiles cheaply glued to the wall. Naruto wanted more of the lethargic feeling bubbling up between the frayed ends of his nerves. It wasn't love or joy or amusement. It was simply completion. The sensation of Kakashi's firm hand on Naruto's shoulder and a deep voice murmuring ' _well done_ '. No pain. No complication or confusion or thinking. Just accomplishment.

Closing his eyes, the genin rolled on his back and sucked a wet breath in through his nostrils. Sakura-chan surely couldn't begrudge Naruto this, could she? He wasn't happy. He didn't have friends or people to love and be loved by. He just had the vague pleasure of serving the village his pink-haired teammate had died in service of.

Surely, Uzumaki Naruto wasn't denied at least this?

* * *

 **(AN - Ajax):** 5000 words here bois and gurls. Important things are happening in the world, gears are turning in the massive world machine of the Elemental Nations.


	9. Ninth Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and we make no profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title- MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN**

 **(AN - Ajax):** Comes around again lads.

* * *

A pale, black-haired boy sat on a tiled rooftop, swinging his legs absently as he casually sketched in a notebook. To observant passerby, he appeared to be enjoying the sunshine, but the boy's rapidly flashing dark eyes betrayed his scrutiny of those below.

Closing the sketchbook with a smart snap, Sai regained his feet in a smooth motion. With sure steps on the precarious rooftop, he made his way to gaze in the direction of the training fields, rewarded with an expectant mixture of blonde, black, and white hair.

The Ne agent descended gracefully, landing in a back alleyway to avoid drawing attention to himself - a practice learned from years of merciless training. Sai plastered a wide smile to his face and walked out into the main street where he had spotted his new operative group. He was ordered to make proper introductions.

He waited on the busy market street, affixing the group with a pointed gaze as he analyzed his new 'team'. The dark-haired one seemed cool and collected, hands thrust firmly into his blue pants, eyes hard and dangerous.

The Uchiha. There was little difference between the clan heir Sai could see roaming the streets at the moment and the ROOT agent he'd met in the Den several days ago. Both had that pent up aggressive air to them. Perhaps Uchiha's emotional conditioning was not coming along as it should be? All agents of Ne were taught to try to feign politeness and to be friendly with others in public.

Next was the jounin, the famed Hatake Kakashi, son of the White Fang of Konohagakure. Talking in tones too low to be heard over the din of the city, Kakashi presented a front of relaxed nonchalance, but his posture was slightly tensed, eyes darting besides him at random intervals.

"I will need to tread carefully around him," Sai noted to himself.

Finally came the blonde, bouncing between an somber look of professionalism and childish exuberance, seemingly failing at deciding on an emotional state.

How curious.

Uzumaki Naruto, the container of the Kyuubi no Yoko, seemed to stop himself every time he raised his voice to speak to his sensei. He would snap his head back down, grimacing as forced himself to speak more respectfully in the wake of Hatake Kakashi's whispered discussion.

Sai was intrigued.

Finally approaching his position, Sai glided directly in front of the oncoming ANBU cell, closing his eyes and widening his smile, just as his book on social interaction had instructed him to do.

"Hello!"

Sasuke looked coolly at the new arrival, unimpressed at his sudden appearance. Naruto looked up with questioning eyes, while Kakashi merely raised an eyebrow and uttered a quick, "Yo," in response, eyes roaming to inspect the pale-skinned newcomer for threats.

"My name is Sai. You are Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi, and Uzumaki Naruto," Sai stated matter-of-factly, smiling unabashedly at the group.

At the name, Kakashi's eyes brightened slightly, and his posture relaxed a degree. Motioning back towards the alleyway Sai had landed in, Kakashi said, "Let's find somewhere more private to talk. I've been advised as to your arrival by our mutual friend."

Inclining his head slightly, Sai followed the jounin's lead, attracting little notice from those occupying the marketplace.

Kakashi walked through the narrow corridor for a little under a minute before promptly turning and resting his body against a wall, adopting a bored demeanor. Sasuke stood comfortably to the side, while Naruto stopped awkwardly, before deciding to imitate Kakashi.

Sai initiated the conversation with a smile, "I have been assigned to ANBU squad Gamma-3 to serve as a replacement for Haruno Sakura, lost during your mission to Wave Country, for the purpose of entering the Chuunin Examinations in four months."

Naruto stiffened visibly, before Kakashi's firm hand rested on his shoulder in a swift movement. Sai cocked his head to the left, an inquisitive expression replacing his smile.

"Have I said something that is incorrect?"

Kakashi sighed before explaining, "You've broached a rather tender topic, Sai." The jounin's eyes narrowed at the Ne agent. "But what you have said is, in truth, correct. We welcome you as a new member of the team, and we will be working to get everyone up to speed on the basis of teamwork."

Sai replaced his expression with a smile again, internally wondering at why his book hadn't broached such a topic before. He would have to investigate the matter.

Suddenly remembering a passage on behavior to follow when attempting to make new friends, Sai said, "I would like to give you two nicknames. You," pointing at Sasuke, "will be Broody." The Ne agent smiled benevolently.

Sasuke raised his eyes in disbelief as Kakashi let out a chuckle, while Naruto perked up at this, a smile tugging at the right corner of his mouth. Looking back towards Sasuke, Naruto let out a full-bodied laugh, releasing some of his pent-up tension, as Sai lowered his raised finger.

Sai internally remarked, " _It seems that nicknames_ are _an acceptable way to create a 'bond'"_. Sai analyzed Naruto for a moment. " _Perhaps making a friend will not be as difficult as I originally hypothesized._ "

Pleased with his success, Sai pointed at Naruto. "You will be…Dickless." Dark eyes dropped pointedly to the blonde's crotch, leaving no confusion as to the implications of his nickname.

The annoyed glare on Sasuke's face swiftly shifted to smug amusement.

Naruto seemed ready to burst out with indignation, but a gentle shake of Kakashi's head reminded him of months of learning emotional control. Hunching his shoulders, the blonde jinchuuriki sent a venomous glare towards the team's newest recruit before walking away.

Kakashi brushed a calloused hand through his wild mane before uttering, "Not a great start, Sai. Give him a moment to cool off." Kakashi continued after his charge, in direction of the wide market street.

The emotionless Ne agent looked inquisitively at Naruto's back, before giving a confused look to Sasuke.

"What did I say that was incorrect?"

Sasuke shrugged off the unasked question, before stalking after his ANBU teammates.

Sai stood still for a moment, resolving to probe his guide to social interactions when he had finished his current assignment. Then he called out to Kakashi in a calm tone, "Hatake-san, I was instructed to relay summons to Hokage-sama's office for debriefing as a secondary order."

Kakashi paused for a moment before responding, "I am aware of that, Sai. I was relayed the same information just prior to your introductions." Kakashi yawned for effect. "Meet us at the Hokage's tower in, let's say, 30 minutes."

ANBU squad Gamma-3 walked back onto the market street and disappeared into the crowd, leaving a rather befuddled shinobi standing by himself, reanalyzing his previous conversation.

* * *

Kakashi ambled casually down a side street of Konohagakure, his two pupils on either side of him. Glancing to his left discreetly, the elite jounin repressed a sigh.

Naruto walked contentedly, arms swinging his usual bragging swagger. A few flecks of shredded herbs stuck to the boy's face, ending in a messy splotch of grease around his mouth.

He supposed that Ichiraku's was a good idea to mollify the blond.

Naruto had spent the last hour or so with his face buried in seemingly endless bowls of his favorite food, mixing broth with curses freely as Kakashi patted his back awkwardly, unsure of what to tell him. Sakura would have eventually been replaced. It was standard operating procedure.

Kakashi was considering advising the Sandaime to ask Inoichi for advice on Naruto's mental health - perhaps a Yamanaka would be able to stabilize the jinchuuriki's emotional state.

Stepping over a rather large pothole, Kakashi turned to his right, and was unable to hold back his exhalation. Sasuke stared on, seemingly unfazed by the world around him.

The last Uchiha had betrayed almost no emotions during the entirety of their interaction with this 'Sai' or afterwards, which worried the jounin considerably.

During their training earlier that day, Sasuke had demonstrated a remarkable increase in skill - dominating Naruto in hand-to-hand combat despite the Jinchuuriki's drastic improvement in combat capabilities.

What surprised the son of the White Fang the most, however, was Sasuke's response to criticism. After correcting the form of the Uchiha's intercepting fist, Sasuke merely nodded and thanked Kakashi for his help, foregoing any angry commentary about his superiority.

Unbelievable. ROOT was marking Sasuke quicker than Kakashi had thought.

Kakashi decided to incorporate a higher degree of team-building exercises to assert a sense of interdependency on Gamma-3. Sasuke would need to develop a sense of value for his team, to prevent his complete ROOT inoculation.

Kakashi was forced out of his musing as he noticed the Hokage's Tower in front of him, a red beacon of command in the center of the village. Eyes roaming around the area, Kakashi discovered a certain pale-skinned shinobi standing in silence to the right of the entryway.

As Sai noticed the incoming trio, Kakashi raised his hand and smiled weakly.

"Yo."

Sai shifted his blank expression into a stretched smile, and took a few steps towards the group.

"Captain, I was under the impression that you wanted to meet at this location approximately an hour ago. Was I incorrect in my hearing?" Sai seemed utterly sincere in his question, while maintaining a rather unnerving grin.

Kakashi let loose a feeble laugh. "Well, it really is a funny story. Naruto here bumped into this old lady on our way over here, and knocked her groceries onto the street. Sasuke and I resolved to help Naruto pick them up, but she began yelling at us to buy her new products."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, while Naruto's mouth opened slightly.

Kakashi continued unflinchingly, "After I had finished the purchase, I went outside, but she and Naruto were nowhere to be found. It turned out, she was a nuke-nin from Kusagakure who was hellbent on abducting Naruto for nefarious purposes. Luckily, Sasuke and I were able to catch up and take her down in time for her to be taken in by ANBU."

Sasuke muttered under his breath, "That has to be the most convoluted explanation I've heard yet."

Naruto began to giggle, though stopping himself when he saw Sai's serious face.

"I see." Sai's face turned blank once again. "I am glad that you were able to properly apprehend the criminal, Kakashi-taichou." Sai returned to his previous smile, as the members of the previous Team 7 shared a look.

"Anyways," Kakashi started, "I suppose we should go in to see the Hokage."

Squad Gamma-3 entered the building, Kakashi returning casual nods to various ANBU agents and administrative shinobi that walked through the large building.

Advancing upstairs, the four ninja stopped at Sasaki's desk, a few feet away from the entrance to the Sandaime Hokage's office.

Kakashi quickly noted the hidden positions of two ANBU agents hidden throughout the vaulted ceiling, inclining his head curtly at their locations.

With an utterly bland expression on her face, Umeko blinked up at the jounin, "Hatake Kakashi, you have arrived late to your appointment with Hokage-sama. Do you have an explanation for your tardiness?"

"Maa, maa, no need to get so riled up. We merely got lost on the road of life." Kakashi raised his hands in surrender, eliciting a laugh from Naruto and a curious expression on Sai's face.

Umeko frowned. "No identification will be necessary. No one but you would show such blatant disrespect towards the office of Hokage, Hatake-san. You may enter."

Kakashi grimaced, before starting in the direction of the door, beckoning his team to follow. Opening the large wooden doors, Gamma-3 was immediately assailed by a large cloud of smoke that escaped the office, their eyes watering slightly from the invasive smell.

The Sandaime Hokage sat leisurely with his legs propped up on the wooden desk in front of him, one hand absently fingering his tobacco pipe, and the other leafing through a rather conspicuous orange book.

Kakashi looked on with amusement as the elderly shinobi scrambled to stash away the incriminating material, locking eyes with him as the old man recovered.

"Kakashi-kun! I was expecting you here much earlier - you've caught me by surprise."

The ANBU Captain bowed towards the third Hokage. "I apologize, Hokage-sama. There was a cat who began terrorizing—"

Sarutobi Hiruzen cut Kakashi off with a raised hand and chuckle. "The winding roads of life lay claim to our time, heedless of the desires of man. Am I correct, Kakashi-kun?"

"You are right, as always, Hokage-sama." Kakashi extricated himself from his light bow, a smile hidden underneath his mask.

Hiruzen's stood up and eyed the two dark-haired shinobi in the room, his expression adopting a more serious look.

"Now, let's address the reason I have brought you to my office. Junior members of Gamma-3, you are aware of the upcoming Chuunin Examinations, I presume?" Hiruzen walked with a commanding presence to face the newcomers to his office, a drastic change from his previous demeanor.

A chorus of, "Hai, Hokage-sama" echoed throughout the room.

Hiruzen's lips tugged lightly at his pipe. "I will illustrate this bluntly for you all. The Chuunin Exams are a method of showcasing a Hidden Village's strength to potential clients."

The Sandaime Hokage continued, "The best and brightest of our gifted shinobi are funneled into this system to combat against their peers to seek the honor of being promoted via the Examination's structure."

"In light of recent circumstances," Hiruzen looked pointedly at Naruto, "you will not be entering the Exams as typical genin hopefuls, as you may have imagined. You are a carefully selected ANBU cell responsible for the completion of a variety of objectives during this period."

Naruto looked on questioningly, while Sai and Sasuke listened intently, without emotion.

Sarutobi paused for moment to relight his pipe, sparing a sideways glance to Kakashi's form, reposing against one of the walls of the office.

"Firstly, you will insure your own advancement into the third and final round of the Examinations. This will be your primary objective." The Hokage puffed for a moment, releasing languishing tendrils of smoke into the air.

"The structure of the event is thus: the first test will be a written exam, emphasizing the ability of a shinobi to cheat, use his surroundings to his advantage, and cultivate resourcefulness."

Sasuke and Sai stoically listened on, but Naruto's obvious grimace provoked a hearty chuckle from the God of Shinobi.

"Do not fret, Naruto-kun. You will be briefed over the coming months in greater detail as to the specifics of each portion of the Exams."

Naruto looked at the Hokage with a relieved expression, comically wiping away sweat from his brow with a small grin.

The Sandaime Hokage resumed his speech, "The second task will be to progress through Training Ground 44, the 'Forest of Death', and deliver a pair of scrolls to the center of the zone."

Hiruzen cleared his throat. "Each team will enter the forest with one type of scroll, and be forced to retrieve that of another team's to successfully pass the test."

Sarutobi affixed his gaze on each boy in front of him. "I warn you, this will be one of the most critical functions you will serve here. Your task is twofold: to eliminate the competition from foreign villages, and protect Konohagakure shinobi."

"However, you must be careful not to pursue this objective too far. It will look incredibly suspicious if the Konohagakure shinobi are the only contestants to actually proceed to the final rounds - exercise a degree of restraint."

The group nodded in unison, carefully taking in the words of the leader of Konohagakure no Sato.

"Now," Hiruzen continued while stroking his pointed beard, "recent intelligence suggests an unprecedented number of genin arriving to take this exam, partly due to the inclusion of Iwagakure and Kumogakure in this test."

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a look of surprise, before the Uchiha snapped back to rapt attention, with Naruto following suit.

"We will likely have a preliminary round to thin the competition, which will take the form of a combat exercise against opposing shinobi. This, in turn, will lead to a single-elimination tournament for the third and final test."

The Hokage grimly explained, "It is customary for villages to seed their entrants with shinobi of a higher caliber than one may expect to see in a competition of this nature."

Nodding towards a stack of files on his desk, Sarutobi continued, "Based on preliminary reports on each of your capabilities, your skills currently exceed that of the typical chuunin prospect entering a locally hosted exam by a moderate margin."

With a dose of killing intent, he stated, "This will _not_ suffice."

The trio in front of him recoiled involuntarily, with even Kakashi stiffening from the forceful reminder of the Sandaime Hokage's strength.

"You three have a total of four months to hone your skills in preparation for the Chuunin Examinations, and I expect that any ANBU squad would be more than ready to handle the challenges presented by your upcoming trials."

He explained further, "However, I advise you to downplay your skills if possible before your showcase during the third test. Unless you are required to bring your full strength to bear, it will be useful to foster underestimation in the eyes of your opponents."

Again taking time to lock eyes with each person in front of him, Hiruzen stated, "Expect further briefings on specific requirements for each stage of the Examinations over the coming months. You are dismissed."

The Sandaime Hokage turned his back to the trio, flashing a subtle signal to Kakashi as he reclaimed his seat with a sigh, appearing to resume his paperwork.

The members of Gamma-3 exited the room sharply, and the junior members looked towards Kakashi for further instructions.

"You all have the rest of the day off, use it as you see fit. We'll meet up again tomorrow at Training Ground 72, at say, zero eight hundred."

Sasuke stalked off with a curt nod, while Sai disappeared without formality. As Naruto started to set off, a strong hand on his shoulder pulled him backwards.

* * *

Kakashi beckoned Naruto silently with a sideways motion of his head, indicating that he should head back into the office. Naruto followed with a consternated expression.

Hiruzen's face was genial now, in direct contrast to his earlier steely posture. "Naruto, my boy, come here."

Rising to meet the blond-haired youth, The Sandaime ruffled Naruto's hair with a light laugh.

"It's been too long since you've visited, Naruto-kun."

Naruto responded grumpily, "It's not like I've had any time, old man. Between Kakashi and the Super Pervert, I barely have the freedom to sleep at all!"

Hiruzen laughed affectionately, which was returned by Naruto's boisterous smile.

Taking his seat once again, Hiruzen indicated Naruto should sit in front of him. Raising an eyebrow at the elite jounin, he said, "Kakashi-kun, why don't you give me and Naruto a moment of privacy? I'd like to have a private discussion with him."

"Of course, Hokage-sama." Kakashi bowed slightly and exited the room promptly.

Sarutobi sunk deep within his chair, gripping the weathered leather of the armrests with a grunt of satisfaction.

"Naruto-kun… It's been far too long, hasn't it? I've missed you in my office, of late. You have a knack for relieving the tension in the air."

The Uzumaki responded a little sadly. "Everything's moved so fast lately, jiji. After what… what happened, nothing seems to make sense anymore. But I know I have a job to do. I won't back down."

Hiruzen's smile cracked, aging visibly before Naruto's eyes. "I never wanted this path for you, Naruto-kun. All I ever wanted for you was a normal childhood, but it seems that fate has conspired to take that away from you."

Naruto witnessed an expression he'd never seen on the Hokage's face before - shame. "I am responsible for your situation, Naruto. My failures on your behalf weigh upon me heavier than any I have made in my long life, which I assure you are plentiful."

Naruto's lip trembled precariously, threatening to break into more violent quaking.

"Above all, Naruto-kun, you must not blame yourself. All I ask…," Hiruzen failed to repress a crack in his voice, "would be that you could find it in yourself to forgive me."

Naruto released his pent-up anguish, as he leapt across the desk to envelop the Sandaime Hokage in an enveloping hug with tears streaming down his face. Sarutobi matched Naruto's emotions as he returned the embrace, hand gently patting the back of his neck as he set down his pipe.

A hidden ANBU agent extricated himself from a hidden position in the office, silently exiting through an open window to give his leader a true moment of privacy.

The two remained in their embrace for several minutes, until Naruto's sobbing descended into snuffles, and eventually petered out.

Peeling himself from the Hokage and cracking his neck, Naruto responded, "You know I forgive you, jiji."

Sitting back down in the chair opposite Hiruzen, both leaned back into their chairs with relaxed shoulders.

The Professor picked back up his pipe and relit it with a basic fire jutsu, contentedly puffing away. The two shinobi sat silently for a moment, enjoying each other's presence and the scent of quality tobacco.

The Sandaime Hokage was surprisingly the first one to break the quiet, affixing his eyes on his successor's son as he began, "Naruto. There are still things of great importance to discuss about the Exams, particular to you."

Naruto responded with a quick, "What do you mean, jiji?"

Sarutobi continued, "You are much more important than you realize, Naruto-kun. Being a Jinchuuriki is an incredible burden, one that comes with a great deal of influence. You are the cornerstone of the Chuunin Examinations."

Naruto nodded his head slightly, eyes squinted with a slight degree of confusion.

Hiruzen sighed audibly, eyes looking up as if searching for something on the ceiling of his office. "Naruto, the entire world will be looking to you to gauge the strength of Konohagakure. If you prove to the world that you are strong, people will think the same of the village."

"Of course I'm gonna kick ass!" Naruto retorted in a scandalized tone, wrapping his braggart persona around himself like a cloak. "I'll make sure no one wants to mess with Konoha!"

A wry smirk curled the corners of Sarutobi's lips fondly. "That's my boy." The Hokage mused, chewing at the tail of his pipe. "Just remember that you're a proud shinobi of the village Naruto-kun. Don't live down to the expectations of those that just think you're an animal."

The wordless look the Uzumaki replied with was full of burning resolve.

* * *

Two hard months later, Naruto hit the grass with a groan, flopping down on his back and trying to suck in oxygen to relieve the burning in his lungs. "Another fifty laps," the blonde puffed, face red from exertion and glistening with sweat. Naruto swung his fist half-heartedly at the sky. "Take that, you bastard."

"Don't make me wash out your mouth with soap, kiddo," Kakashi mused out of the line of the Uzumaki's vision. A foot nudged at the genin's aching leg. "You're a hundred years too early to be talking back to me."

Slurring a nonsensical grunt back at the ANBU Captain, Naruto shut his eyes and hoped that Kakashi would simply get the hell out and let him sleep for a bit. A minute passed as the genin gulped greedy breaths, slowing the throbbing pulse in his veins with a diet of inactivity and air.

Grass rustled as Kakashi shuffled around his student's prone body, lowering to a crouch with far more grace than the sweat soaked jinchuuriki exhibited. "You did well." the man complimented awkwardly, peering down at Naruto's whiskered face through a single dark iris.

Grunting wordlessly in reply, Naruto cracked a tired eye open to glare at his squad leader. "Might as well ask what you're gonna ask." the blonde sighed after a moment.

Kakashi tilted his head to the side before shrugging. "Let's say you've been assigned a mission to sabotage an enemy supply depot during a period of war between Konoha and another hidden village. You successfully destroy it, but in doing so you were detected by a squad of jounin. You're fifty miles behind enemy lines. What do you do?"

"Bum rush 'em with clones." Naruto replied without hesitation, throwing his forearm over his eyes. "Since it's, ya know, _me,_ I can spit out a hundred of them easy. Half the clones attack, and half of them run away. I'll run too, and create some more as soon as I'm outta sight. Have all the clones run for the border while I hole up about halfway there. They'll expect me to try and make it back home as quick as possible. Spend a day or two waiting for things to cool off before trying to cross the border for real."

"Ahh." Kakashi hummed, weighing Naruto's answer to his proposed scenario. The jounin had taken to proposing scenarios to the jinchuuriki every time they trained in the two months since that emotionless artsy bastard had joined squad Gamma-Three.

On the one hand, it had gotten real old real fast for the blonde. But on the other, it was actually sort of nice that there was someone who treated Naruto like he actually had a brain between his ears on a regular basis. He wasn't all clumsy brawn, no matter what the other kids back in the Academy had said.

"Typically, what you'd want to do in a situation like that is run like hell for the border. Most of us can't spawn armies on command, but once you cross into Konoha territory your chances of reinforcement increase exponentially." The jounin's single visible eye crinkled in approval. "That being said, you strategy is viable and depending on your skill and evasion and concealment might have a higher probability of success."

"Mmhmm." Naruto acknowledged, pulling his arm away from his face and cracking his knuckles. Absently, he bent his hands through a slow series of seals. _Ram. Snake. Tiger._ With a simple push of chakra through the motions that had been beat into him over the years, Naruto would summon a bunshin.

A bunshin that wasn't malformed or sickly, but was visually healthy and full of life. A true bunshin that was created with mastery of the technique. Sasuke - the bastard - would have sneered about it if Naruto made noise about it, but the blonde couldn't prevent the simple happiness that mastering it gave him. The stupid jutsu that had tripped Naruto up and caused him to fail the Academy over and over was his to command.

Jiraiya's chakra control exercises had done good for him after all. Spinning a chopstick on his finger with chakra even made for a good party trick.

The last time that Naruto had seen the white-haired deviant, they had worked on bringing out and then rein in the Kyuubi's chakra.

"When's that old pervert back?" Naruto grunted as he let his hands fall back to his sides. The toad sennin had taken off for 'business' a couple of weeks back, and he was starting to miss the lecher.

"Three days from now. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering." Naruto muttered, mind settling on the promise of more jutsu to master under Jiraiya's teachings, as well as a measure of control. "Just wondering."

* * *

A solitary bubble tenaciously clung to the side of the glass vial, disrupting the otherwise continuously garish orange compound. Thin lips curved down.

"Contaminated." Orochimaru sighed to himself, giving the tube one last absent spin before popping off the stopper with a pointed nail and dumping the useless sample into a bright yellow barrel marked HAZARDOUS WASTE in screaming black letters.

Deciding that he would need to immediately dispose of the latest buffoon claiming to be his lab assistant, the snake sennin glared at the filthy stainless steel table that held up his newest centrifuge. _Kabuto_ had never allowed a single speck of dirt to be left before or behind an experiment. _Kabuto_ had certainly never been so utterly incompetent that he ruined a week-long experiment with a careless technique.

"There is no need to lurk in the shadows like a frightened child, Guren." Orochimaru scolded with a hint of amusement. Divesting himself of his lab coat, the nukenin tossed the barely used garment in the lab's laundry cart before turning his golden reptilian gaze to pin his blue haired subordinate.

"I assume you have something worthwhile to report. Unless you've decided you wish to submit to true experimentation at my hands? Remember my promise. Only the best, most proven procedures for such a valuable subordinate."

Lowering her dark eyes to the floor to escape the leader of Otogakure's slitted stare, Guren shook her head slightly. "I'm here to report success with the mission you assigned me, Orochimaru-sama." the woman denied the 'offer' implicitly, not wanting to dwell on it. Orochimaru of the Sannin did not always _ask_ permission.

"And Akatsuki was none the wiser?" the sennin queried sharply, golden orbs flashing. "There were no complications?"

"None." Guren denied, raising her eyes and assuming a bolder look once the dangerous topic of Orochimaru's favorite pastime was glazed over. "The Rokubi is safe and hidden. Akatsuki's agents were successfully eliminated, and with the jinchuuriki's tendency to act the hermit, it will be months before they have a hope of beginning to locate him again. We did not engage or allow discovery without your order."

Nodding agreeably, Orochimaru beckoned Guren closer with a lazy wave of his hand. "Good, good." A distant expression filled the man's pale face, purple markings tightening around his eyes as his genius mind began constructing further plots. "The fools." Otogakure's leader murmured with a fond sort of contempt to himself. "Misguided fools. Destroy everything and hope that somehow the world will be saved?"

The S-ranked nukenin shook himself from his daze, curving his mouth into a dangerous smirk. "Now that we've successfully taken the only vulnerable container and placed it out of Pein's reach for the moment, it is past time we attacked. Take a squad of a dozen of our finest and clear out every Akatsuki outpost you can locate in Tetsu no Kuni. Leave none alive."

"Shouldn't we clean up our own house before going to clean up the neighbours?"

"Otogakure is not ready for open conflict with Ame and Akatsuki together. I have no desire to gamble with my own 'little village' when I can lay the blame for the attack at the door of the neighboring samurai. Even Pein would be wary of incurring their wrath."

Guren tilted her head, considering before she nodded sharply in agreement. "As you command, Orochimaru-sama. Only… while I'll gladly do as you ask, I would much rather be at your side when we strike out at those Konoha bastards."

The look that Orochimaru returned to the Shoton wielder was one she had never witnessed before - an odd mixture of apprehension, anger, and… sorrow?

Orochimaru suppressed his emotions near-instantly before responding, "No. You have received your instructions; that is all that will be required."

As Guren turned to exit the laboratory, she faintly heard the sannin mutter to himself, "Vengeance is of no import. All that matters is Sarutobi-sensei and the Akatsuki."

* * *

 **(AN - White):** Well here we are with another 5200 words. We moved from four months until the Chuunin Exams to two months until the exams in the last couple of scenes, in case that was missed.


	10. Tenth Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and we make no profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title - top kek**

 **(AN - Ajax):** Zug zug.

 **(AN - White):** More work?

* * *

Sasuke wasn't sure when full ANBU gear became more comfortable than the civilian clothes he'd grown up wearing. Some time between the second and fourth month since his recruitment into Ne, the realization hit the Uchiha like a bolt of lightning.

Without a lightweight carbon fibre vest wrapped around his chest Sasuke felt utterly unclothed. As if an enemy could come up behind him at any time and slip a knife between his ribs, leaving the last Uchiha drowning while his lungs filled with blood.

Wearing no armor, no forearm guards, and a white bandage wrapped over his bicep to cover up the blazing red ANBU seal, Sasuke felt naked. But he had little choice in the matter. He was entering the chuunin exams, and he was supposed to do so undercover as a typical Konoha genin.

Strangling the urge to tug anxiously at the collar of his skin-tight sleeveless black undershirt, Sasuke strapped his flat pointed tanto over his back and stepped out into the subterranean halls of the Den.

Sai was waiting for him dressed in that disgustingly lurid navel baring outfit he seemed to prefer. Knowing Danzo as he did after six months beneath the Councilor's command, the Uchiha wouldn't be in the least surprised if the ensemble was chosen for the sole purpose of seducing information out of seedy pedophiles.

Nodding wordlessly at the other boy, Sasuke grit down his faint frustration and followed the other Ne recruit through the winding maze of passages and sewers that made up the Den.

Sasuke disliked Sai.

Or rather, he disliked what Sai had been carefully molded into becoming. A barely human caricature that struggled with the simplest social expressions and who became honestly puzzled at the slightest release of emotion. It was disconcerting to see a boy that was practically a physical living mirror of himself bent into nothing more than a passionless tool.

It angered Sasuke, and in the darkest parts of his mind that he denied even existed, it frightened him. Danzo was not playing games. The instructors in the Academy told their students to 'kill their emotions' as a metaphor - giving up their emotional security in service to the Hi no Ishi. ROOT's Commander made it a reality.

The emotional conditioning was subtle. Sasuke would never had thought of it as more than the typical hardening if Sai hadn't been assigned to their team.' _You will be blooded'_ had sounded harsh but beneficial.

The Uchiha hadn't protested that order. Hadn't thought it was necessary to protest, because Sasuke had joined ANBU and ANBU killed their enemies. Crow-Five had killed those guards on Gamma-Three's first mission, come to an accord with Kakashi, reported back to Danzo, and been violently sick in the privacy of his own home.

After meeting Sai however, all the encouragements and assignments had seemed much more sinister. His blooding wasn't a quick and dirty training to become stronger for the village; but the first step on a very long road of killing all the passions that made him Uchiha Sasuke.

The worst of it was Sasuke couldn't justify to himself stepping off that road. Protestations of morality paled compared to the memory of his bleeding parents in the night and the crimson violent spin of Itachi's eyes. The last Uchiha in Konoha needed to become stronger, and Danzo was making him so.

Sasuke moved faster and hit harder than he'd ever done. Ne, with the unknowing assistance of Yugao, had beat a near mastery of the tanto into his muscles. Espionage and concealment. The intricacies of fuinjutsu and genjutsu. Pure knowledge of cultures and geography. Ne agents acted alone, and to compensate, ROOT's Commander ensured they were well rounded in the shinobi disciplines.

The Academy had made Sasuke into a reluctant member of the village organization. Danzo created a soldier in service to it.

"The First Task of the Chuunin Exams begin tomorrow." Danzo began without preamble as soon as the two Ne genin stepped onto the balcony that the Councilor had been watching a gaggle of seven year old recruits spar from. "The Hokage has undoubtedly made you aware of your layered purposes in this test. I will, nevertheless, reiterate the message."

Danzo affixed a solitary black eye on each of the black-haired shinobi in turn. "Protect as many shinobi of Konoha as possible, and defeat as many enemy shinobi as possible. I will add my own caveat to these orders - I expect that defeat to end in death for enemies of our village."

Danzo turned his back on his young agents, gazing out into the pit of vicious violence unfolding in front of him. "You are more than familiar with the briefings on the structure of the examination, as well as the fact that Sunagakure and Takigakure's suspected jinchuuriki will be in attendance," the grizzled veteran stated rhetorically.

"I will instead remind you both of two other caveats; firstly, you are required to actively seek to thin enemy competition and protect our own, but only to a certain extent. Your efforts for the first should be contained within the limits of reason, and for the purpose of saving our shinobi, not necessarily competing positions, for the latter."

Sai and Sasuke stood mutely at attention, waiting for clarifications to their set of orders.

"Furthermore, the jinchuuriki situation must be dealt with carefully, for both other villages' weapons and our own."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed sharply, before returning to an impassive mask with haste.

"We have limited information on the specifics of foreign jinchuuriki's abilities, but what you have witnessed firsthand from Uzumaki should give you an indication of their capabilities when provoked."

Danzo wrapped a hand firmly around his gnarled cane as he continued, "ANBU squad Gamma-3 will not actively seek out these targets during the second stage of the examinations, but I do expect you will perform a degree of intelligence-gathering on these targets."

Sai and Sasuke inclined their heads lightly, waiting for a signal for dismissal.

Danzo concluded, "Finally, I will require further observational reports on how Uzumaki Naruto conducts himself in the field after the second stage of the exam. Dismissed."

ROOT's Commander didn't spare a further glance glance as Sai and Sasuke instantly knelt in submission, releasing a chorus of "Hai, Danzo-sama," with the reflexes borne from indoctrination.

Sasuke crushed down the resentment and indignation at having to essentially murder other children, drawing from extensive practice that came with having served half a year under the thumb of Konoha's Warhawk.

Such was the life he'd chosen for the sake of power.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this, nee-chan?"

Hinata favoured her younger sister with a small smile, tucking another jar of salve into her backpack before giving the bag a final proprietary pat.

"I'm serious." Hanabi sighed, blowing a strand of brunette hair out of her pale eyes. "You can back out. I'll smooth things over with otou-san. He won't be pleased, but it's better than forcing you into something you're not ready for."

The older Hyuuga sibling didn't even bat an eyelash at her younger sister's assumption that she _wasn't_ ready to take the Chuunin Exams. Hanabi meant well, though she wasn't the most tactful of Hyuuga, and it wasn't her younger sister's fault that Hinata was simply weaker than her eight year old sibling.

"I'm sure, Hanabi-chan." Hinata slung her back over her shoulders, zipping up her cream coloured jacket smoothly. "I'm ready." She stated softly, trying to cover up her anxieties. "Besides, it wouldn't be fair of me to hold back Kiba-kun or Shino-kun."

Bringing up her brow in a look of exasperated disbelief, Hanabi shook her head. "Whatever you say, nee-chan." Jerking her chin towards the door empathetically, Hanabi motioned her sister out of the room before following along at her heels.

Branch Family Hyuuga scuttled about, leaping out of the way of Hiashi's daughters as the two girls made their way to the entrance hall. Their branded kin were such a common silent sight that Hanabi couldn't help but view them as little more than part of the background at times, despite Hinata's gentle scolding.

"You're really, _really_ sure?"

"Hai."

Hanabi's efforts to needle her older sister into making the smarter, safer choice considering Hinata's history as the weakest Hyuuga in the generation was cut off by the approach of their cousin.

"Hinata-sama. Hanabi-sama." Neji greeted, the cool, polite tone of his voice betrayed by a smirk reeking of superiority. The Branch House member curved mechanically into a rigidly bow, spine not curving an inch beyond what was strictly polite.

"Nii-san." Hinata greeted back, all soft warmth and familial camaraderie. "Will you be accompanying me to the Academy?"

"Gai-sensei has asked me to travel with my teammates."

"Then it'd be better if you didn't keep them waiting." Hanabi cut in rudely, staring up at her taller cousin. "Neji." the younger sister ordered, jerking her chin towards the entrance.

"Hanabi-sama." The older prodigy acknowledged, muscle twitching in his jaw as he bowed again in a departing gesture.

"I will hope for your victory, Neji nii-san." Hinata offered faintly, raising her hand to give a half wave of farewell.

"If I emerge victorious, it will be because it was fated."

Then the Hyuuga prodigy was gone.

Turning to frown slightly at her younger sister, Hinata scolded "You shouldn't be so rude to him, Hanabi-chan. Nii-san's our elder, and life's been very cruel to him."

"I don't like the way he looks at you." Hanabi muttered mutinously, folding her skinny arms over her chest. "If Neji could kill with a look, you'd be dead ten thousand times over already. It's not your fault you were born when and where you were. Such is fate."

Sighing, Hinata gave it up as a lost cause for the moment. She'd be late if she hung around to debate her headstrong younger sister.

"Good luck nee-chan." Hanabi offered after a moment of silence. Lunging at Hinata, the brown-haired girl wrapped her arms around the dark blue haired one. "Don't you go and die on me."

* * *

Green everywhere. That was the first impression that Sabaku no Gaara had taken as he strolled into Konohagakure. It disgusted him, being outside the comforting presence of sand and the howling heat of the desert.

Gaara's skull suddenly jerked to the left as he suppressed a bout of screaming in his head, " **I feel him here! He's here! I want his blood! I need it NOW!"** The jinchuuriki of the Ichibi gritted his teeth as he snapped his head back into place, mumbling incoherently.

Sensing his pathetic 'siblings' behind him exchange a look with that fool Baki, Gaara stretched out thin tendrils of chakra in their direction. They still had sand left on them from the dunes of Kaze no Kuni. They _wouldn't_ stop him from proving that he had a right to exist.

Teal eyes swept over the bustling city with a pointed glare, watching people scurry about their meaningless lives. What drove them to go about, with pitiful smiles on their face, ants working with no purpose to their being?

Gaara was assured of his difference. Every time he killed, every time blood stained the sand encased in his ever-present gourd, he felt truly _alive_.

As the red-headed boy walked off to the right, Baki prompted the elder children of the Kazekage to get Gaara back on course with a significant look.

Temari spoke up with a hesitant voice, "Gaara. We should begin to head over to where the first part of the Exams will be. We don't want to be late…"

Gaara affixed his sister with a narrowed gaze, causing her to shrink on herself unconsciously. The jinchuuriki turned, and without a word, began stalking off in the opposite direction of where they needed to go.

Placing her palm against her face, Temari ran to Gaara's side in an effort to convince him to reverse his direction. "Gaara, please. The exams will be over in that direction." Temari pointed a ways towards the west.

Kankuro spoke up, "Gaara, don't you want to see the competition? We heard you say that you want to see what they'll be like." Kankuro swallowed. "There should be strong Shinobi for you to… test yourself against."

Gaara cocked his head to the right, suppressing the incoherent screaming of the beast locked inside of him. With an indifferent, "Hmph," Gaara began strolling towards the direction of the Konohagakure Academy building.

Breathing a collective sigh of relief, Baki and Gaara's elder siblings followed the jinchuuriki through a collection of wide streets, eventually opening into a greater marketplace.

The group stopped cold as Gaara stiffened, emitting small shock of chakra that turned more than a few heads in the busy plaza.

"I can _feel_ them. Mother _wants_ them," Gaara whispered violently, craning his neck to spot a tuft of blonde and black hair on the opposite side of the square.

The jinchuuriki doubled over, clutching his head with a silent scream etched across his face, eliciting a few looks of concern from passerby. Temari and Kankuro rushed to his side, but a small stream of sand swiftly prevented their hands from touching Gaara.

"Mother, she… she wants…," Gaara whispered madly, eyes widened dramatically. "She wants… Indra's legacy… the eyes, I feel them! Kurama… he, she wants, I feel them! She wants their blood! I want to prove, their blood, she…" Gaara let out a choked cough before snapping upright.

His siblings shrunk back from the murderous look in his eyes, stepping backwards to rejoin Baki's position behind the Kazekage's unstable son.

"He's worse. Something's happened, Baki-sensei. My father will want to know," Temari whispered into her teacher's ear, drawing a sharp nod from the man. Baki resolved to send out a message as soon as possible, after he got the team situated into the Examinations.

Baki briefly considered the possibility of removing Gaara from Konohagakure in the meantime, but that wasn't an option. He would need to represent Sunagakure in the exams, especially given their current political and economic conditions.

Gritting his teeth, Baki moved forwards, following the suddenly advancing jinchuuriki through the crowd, shinobi and civilians alike giving the crazed red-head a wide berth.

Gaara began to calm down, his visage returning to a more impassive state as he made his way towards the entrance to the so-called 'Academy' through a series of backstreets.

The jinchuuriki had been disappointed when he first came to Konohagakure. He had seen weak shinobi, with pitiful blood to present to Mother. But now he saw differently. He had a chance to prove himself worthy of existing. _Their_ blood would validate his life.

* * *

Kakashi sat with his back pressed against a tree trunk, sprawled against a gnarled limb as he waited for his team with book in hand. Upon spotting a familiar trio of shinobi, he snapped his smut closed and tucked it away inside his vest.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted with a wave, turning to face his team from his perch.

Naruto sent out an exaggerated salute, while Sai inclined his head lightly and Sasuke remained impassive.

ANBU squad Gamma-3 congregated in the forest just outside the main branch of Konohagakure's Shinobi Academy, where the first stage of the examinations were to take place.

Kakashi drawled, "Well, this is it. Here's the big day. I have a couple of orders to relay, as well as a bit of advice for you all."

The son of the White Fang leapt down to the grass, landing gracefully before his subordinates. "One thing that I will stress to you all is the value of subtlety. There's no need for any of you to go about parading your skills before the third stage of the examinations. You're ANBU - quick, efficient, and silent."

Kakashi's lone black eye bore into the three young shinobi, met by Naruto and Sasuke's hard gazes, and Sai's empty smile.

"That will all change, however, when it comes to the public show of strength. Remember that we will likely have a preliminary round, with various competition structures based on how many contestants advance past the second test."

Sasuke barely kept from rolling his eyes at information that had been repeated ad nauseum for months, yet retained his composure.

Kakashi stepped forwards and put a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, looking directly into the Uchiha's eyes. "Another thing that you will all need to remember is the human element of shinobi. Don't get carried away with your task to weed out enemy villages, for both suspicion's sake as well as your own."

Kakashi sighed, stepping back as he ran a hand through unruly white hair. "I've also received some new intel on the jinchuuriki in the exams. We receive missions reports and analysis on contestants shortly before they begin."

Naruto raised his eyebrows questioningly, while Sai cocked his head to the left. Sasuke's eyes narrowed sharply, suddenly very interested in what his mentor had to say.

"Takigakure is home to a 'Fū', surname unknown, believed to be the container for the Nanabi. Her abilities are mostly secret, but one piece of information is particularly significant - she appears to be capable of some form of flight."

"She can fly?" Naruto blurted out, before taking control of his awe. Naruto frowned in disappointment of his own bijuu-granted abilities before forcefully reminding himself of how he felt about his captive.

"It appears so, Naruto." Kakashi scratched the back of his neck with arm overhead. "We have fairly limited information on her and her fighting style outside of that, but it's useful to not be surprised by something so far out of the norm."

Kakashi cleared his throat before going on, "Now, for Sabaku no Gaara, we have an interesting case. He is the son of the Yondaime Kazekage, Rasa."

Naruto looked consternated, before asking, "The Kazekage sealed a tailed beast inside his own son? Why would he do that?"

Kakashi was taken aback for a moment before he regained his composure. "Well, Naruto, there… there are a lot of reasons that he may have done it. I think that he did it to make a weapon for Sunagakure, or that he wished to keep the jinchuuriki of the Ichibi loyal by putting it in his son. Maybe, he felt he couldn't place the burden on someone else."

Naruto pondered this for a minute, before lapsing into silence.

Kakashi stared at the blonde, distinctly feeling a hardness in his chest. Kakashi thumped himself a few times to regain his voice before speaking. "Anyway, we've determined that this Gaara has the ability to control sand, through either the Kekkei Genkai of his father or from the influence of the Ichibi."

Naruto widened his eyes as Sasuke raised a single eyebrow, waiting for Kakashi to finish. Sai stared directly at Kakashi, carefully intaking every word

"He seems to be psychologically unstable, from all reports, and highly dangerous. I would recommend avoiding contact with him if possible throughout the Second Test, in order to save confrontation for the final round.

Sasuke asked calmly, "How exactly are villages allowed to send in jinchuuriki, or potentially undercover jounin, to the Chuunin Examinations anyway? Shouldn't that be against the conventions of the test to begin with?"

Sasuke spared a glance sideways to Naruto and shrugged, before returning his eyes to Kakashi.

The white-haired jounin leaned back against the tree on ground-level before responding, "Well, that's a complicated issue. You see, all of the villages are typically 'in the know' about foreign jinchuuriki assets, as well as most of each others' experienced forces."

Kakashi continued, "Of course there are ghosts in the system that can slip by, but typically the ill will incurred from sending someone like me to the exams would only serve to break the infrastructure of the exams."

Sai surprisingly butted in, "It is not in the interest of any of the villages to compromise any agents that they have otherwise confined to obscurity. Of course, they could be used as one-time asset for the express sake of the examinations, but such a ploy is easily discovered by the various Kage and onlookers."

Naruto decided to ask, "But wait, what about jinchuuriki. I mean, how is it really fair if I go into the exams with someone… well, normal?"

Kakashi adopted a wry smile under his mask. "Well, technically, it's not fair at all. The villages all have a vested interest in catching each other cheating, but with jinchuuriki, they can technically be registered as true genin in the system."

Kakashi stood up before finishing, "The introduction of a jinchuuriki is a one-time event, to showcase a part of that village's power. It becomes mostly overlooked because it's such a rare event - in fact, three jinchuuriki in a single Chuunin Examination is completely unheard of."

Kakashi ruffled the hair of all three members of his squad, even Danzo's puppet, incurring a baleful glare from the last Uchiha and an undignified squawk from his sensei's son.

"Listen. This is an opportunity to not only bolster the reputation of your village, but to prove yourselves capable of being true shinobi of Konohagakure. I have full confidence in your ability to carry out your mission successfully with your heads held high."

The jounin smiled through his eyes as he concluded, "All three of you have come far, and I have no doubt that you'll make me proud as you fight through the examinations. Fight for the sake of Konohagakure, and for your own progress."

Naruto's back stiffened slightly, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Sasuke clenched his jaw tightly, hiding his eagerness to test himself against shinobi outside his usual realm of training. Sai merely stood there silently, eyes crinkled and smile plastered across his face.

Kakashi shook his head to the left sharply. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get over to the Academy, or you'll be late for the first test. Move out!"

The three genin took off with haste, running with a confidence and precision in their movements that didn't exist months before, besides Sai.

Kakashi stood a moment as he gazed up into the sky, as if searching for something, before stalking off quietly to observe the first stage of the examinations.

* * *

Naruto sucked in a steadying breath, tugging at the collar of the long sleeved navy blue shirt he'd scrounged up. The garish orange he'd spent so many years wearing didn't feel right anymore, but the blonde had no choice. Being in ANBU was supposed to be some great big secret, so he'd dug around in his closet for something to wear and left his tanto behind.

Sai - the lucky bastard - was the only one that got to carry his tanto into the Chuunin Exams. Apparently they couldn't all wear the same stuff. Not that Naruto disagreed in principle - he wasn't Sasuke's freakish twin like Sai was. But damn, he'd wanted to wear the clothes and weapons he'd gotten used to in the past half year.

Rolling the sleeves of his shirt up past his elbows, the Uzumaki gave Iruka's hitai-ate a final pat as he tightened it around his left bicep. After so many months in ANBU mask, wearing the forehead protector on his face felt weird.

Sasuke felt the same, if the way Naruto's teammate had wrapped his around his black clad right thigh was any sort of clue.

"You ready bastard?"

"More than you'll ever be dobe."

Sticking his tongue out at Sasuke, Naruto dug an elbow into Sai's side before dropping out of the tree that they'd used as a vantage point to scout out the Academy. Foreign shinobi dominated the yard, slowly filtering into the building.

The other genin members of Gamma-3 hit the grass behind him, and with a final shrug the Uzumaki shoved his hands into his pockets and joined the line. Once upon a time he'd have shoved his way to the front, but Naruto liked to think he'd gotten a _little_ more patient than that.

Kakashi had already submitted their applications to the exam - not that they had the choice to refuse - so the only thing to do was shuffle into the building with everyone else.

It was when they got to the second floor that they ran into the first sign of trouble.

"Come on, let us through!"

"Yeah! Get out of the way assholes!"

A crowd of genin pushed at two older genin, trying to shove past and get into a room with the number 301 hanging over the door. "301?" Naruto blinked in confusion. That sure as hell didn't seem right. They'd only gone up one flight of stairs.

"It's a genjutsu, dickless." Sai cut in smoothly, turning to smile his odd little smirk over his shoulder at the blonde.

"Idiots." Sasuke snorted, Sharingan flickering on briefly before his eyes went coal dark again. "If they can't notice such a simple genjutsu, they have no business being chuunin. They'd just end up dead in the exams."

"Keep moving through then." Naruto sighed, placing a hand on each of his teammates' backs and shoving them forward. Ignoring the glare Sasuke gave him, the blonde stuffed his hands back into his pockets. "We don't have all day."

Once upon a time Naruto would have been simmering with indignation that a couple of jerks would go around tricking the genin and delaying them so they couldn't make it to the exams on time. But now, the Uzumaki wondered if it really was all that bad. If they couldn't see through the genjutsu, they probably weren't skilled enough for the tests. And better the genin end up disappointed for a year than dead.

Shoving down a stab of pity when a genin in a green leotard was shoved to the floor, Naruto followed his teammates past the crowd of genin and up the next flight of stairs.

"Remember our mission parameters." Sai reminded the other two as they came to a stop before room 301.

Snorting, Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." Then with a final step, the Uzumaki stepped into the exam room.

* * *

Noise slammed into Gamma-3 like a tidal wave. Chatter bounced off every wall as the room was jam packed with shinobi both foreign and local. Hitai-ate shone under the fluorescent lights like glass on the beach, dully reflecting the artificial overhead lamps.

"Well this sounds… fun." Sasuke muttered under his breath as he followed Naruto and Sai in hugging the wall. Best to get out of the middle of the room and at least get their backs to a wall.

"Oi losers!" A somewhat familiar tone barked out over the constant hum of voices, and Kiba shoved his way past a pair of older Konoha genin. Ignoring the foul look their seniors gave him, the Inuzuka grinned and punched Naruto in the arm.

"Who's the lunatic that thought it would be a good idea to throw you to the wolves?"

"Lay off dog breath." Naruto growled, returning the punch with a grin that showed slightly too much teeth. "Who's the lunatic that thought it would be a good idea to make us have to put up with your stink?"

Akamaru huffed from his perch on the shaggy boy's head, making Kiba give a sulking pout. "It's not funny you traitor!"

"Bah." Kiba waved Naruto off, turning to greet Sasuke with an offhand "Hey Uchiha." Before settling on Sai. "And who are you supposed to be?"

"My name is Sai, Dog Breath-san. Would you like to be friends?"

Tuning out Kiba's babble, Sasuke folded his arms over his chest and leant back against the wall. Thoroughly bored, the Last Uchiha watched as Aburame and Hyuuga appeared in the wake of their teammate.

"Hello Naruto-kun." The Hyuuga greeted in her little chirp of a voice, barely audible above the chatter. Red spots burned on her pale cheeks, and with a barely veiled snort of disgust Sasuke turned away to continue scanning the crowd. Even here people were acting like lovesick children. Was the rest of his graduating class going to prove equally pathetic?

There were a few interesting foreign shinobi in the crowd. A tanned green-haired girl sporting a Takigakure Hitai-ate stood out, hefting a sizeable red-wrapped cylindrical object on her back. Some sort of weapon? A giant sealing scroll? Sasuke gazed at her intently, taking a few guesses as to her identity.

A red-haired genin from Suna stared right at him with an expression of pure bloodlust before the crowd closed in front of him once more. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, inferring that the shinobi could be none other than Sabaku no Gaara. Interesting.

Continuing with his observations, the Uchiha spotted a silver-haired shinobi with round spectacles gazing intently beside him. Seeing Sai to his right, the Uchiha connected the mysterious Konoha shinobi's gaze to his Ne teammate. The genin grimaced before walking away into the rolling crowd mostly unnoticed, leaving Sasuke with a frown on his face.

"Looks like the gang's all together then." Shikamaru's voice drawled from right next to him, prompting Sasuke to whip about so hard his neck cracked. He'd let his guard down, and if the slowly raising eyebrow the Nara gave him was any indication, the Uchiha's surprise hadn't gone unnoticed.

Slouching, Shikamaru dropped his hands into his pockets, leaned against the wall, and sighed. "Just thought I might as well give you a heads up. Ino is _pissed_ at you and Naruto. She took Sakura's death really hard, and she hasn't been able to find you at all since it happened. Choji's over warning Naruto."

"Shouldn't you feel the same?" Came automatically from Sasuke's throat, the Uchiha observing the pineapple haired genin with dark eyes.

"No." Thinning his lips, Shikamaru craned his neck to stare up at the ceiling with dull orbs. "I'll be honest. We're not friends. But it wouldn't be fair to blame you for what happened. Not that I was friends with Sakura either, but you get the point. Sometimes shit just happens. It's part of shinobi life."

Sasuke grunted in response, which was as much a thanks as the Uchiha would give for the typical platitudes and an update on a blonde harpy he didn't give a damn about. Seeking out Ino's face in a spark of morbid curiosity, Sasuke felt a trickle of dark amusement at the anger in her expression.

There used to be a time that Sasuke would have felt more gratification to elicit that kind of reaction instead of some misguided adoration directed his way. Sakura shouldn't have needed to die for that to happen.

Sasuke sighed, amusement draining away as abruptly as it came. _Sakura_. Burying the memories of his first female teammate with the same utter ruthlessness and practice he applied to the memories of his own mother, the Uchiha went back to scanning his surroundings.

Needlessly, as it happened, since a moment later smoke exploded at the front of the room.

"Alright! Quiet down you brats!" The white wisps cleared to reveal the imposing form of a giant of a man, thick scars distorting his leathery face. "My name is Morino Ibiki, and I will be the proctor for the First Task of this year's Chuunin Exams! So find your seats in the room ahead, sit down, and shut up!"

* * *

 **(AN - Ajax):** Something I'll get out of the way is the presence of Kabuto. You likely picked up on the fact that he appeared in the crowd, but he was deterred by Sai's presence. Kabuto was an incredibly high-profile ROOT traitor, one of the few in existence, so naturally he would be wary of approaching someone who could possibly recognize him.

 **(AN - White):** 5200 words here. Very nice. Very uniform. If we're gonna make it to a thousand chapters, this post means we're 1% of the way there.

 **(AN - Ajax):** Jesus save me.


	11. Eleventh Night

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, and we make no profit writing fanfiction about it.**

 **File Title - AYY LMAO**

 **(AN - White):** Been too long. You'll notice the "file title", which refers to the silly names I gave each chapter on the drawing board. Behind each update is much less professionalism and much more crudity than you'd expect.

We've editing back through the story to clean things up a bit and cut out the majority of the ANs thanks to one Lord Asmodeus' suggestion.

* * *

Naruto scratched his head absentmindedly, staring down his exam paper in disbelief. The blond had known that the test would be hard - otherwise the genin wouldn't be forced to cheat like Hokage-jiji had said they would be. But there was a difference between hard and impossible.

'A shinobi throws his kunai at 13 metres per second. Assuming no air resistance, what is the time required for impact? Calculate distance if X is the distance between shinobi and target and is the hypotenuse of a right angle triangle with a distance of 5 metres for the adjacent side and 6 metres for the opposite side.'

 _What the hell?_

The other eight questions were just as insane. There was no way a regular genin could answer _one_ of them, let alone all of the others. The proctor said that they'd lose two points for every time they were caught cheating, and people would fail if they got less than half of the questions right, it wasn't a walk in the park for anyone.

Sakura would have been able to answer most of these.

Frowning slightly, Naruto flicked his blue eyes up to the clock. Fifty minutes left. The Uzumaki could almost smell the hopelessness in the air. Just out of the corner of his eye, Naruto could see Sasuke furiously scratching away from his seat behind and to the left of the blonde. The redness of the Sharingan shone even under the overly bright fluorescent lights.

At least the bastard was doing all right. Sai was somewhere several rows back, out of sight. Which meant Naruto was on his own. Catching his lip between his thumb and forefinger, Naruto pulled thoughtfully. What do to? He needed at least five points going forward.

Well… Naruto didn't need five points. Technically, he could do nothing and still pass since Hokage-jiji had warned them that the question that would determine a pass or fail was the last one, which was just 'Do you agree to take the last question?'. But he wanted five points. He should be able to beat this test, even if the promotion didn't matter anymore.

He needed to prove something to himself.

While Naruto steeled himself, thinking intently on how best to steal answers from his neighbors, he felt a cold, wet sensation touch his ankle, and continue to climb up his body.

Repressing a shiver, the jinchuuriki force himself to be still as the sensation continued upwards and revealed an inky rat, determined to crawl up his arm. With a burst of understanding, Naruto watched as the construct stealthily deposited itself on his paper, flawlessly creating a spread of correct answers.

Naruto sighed dejectedly, waiting for the hour to come to a close. So much for overcoming the first task on his own merit.

* * *

Kakashi sat with a seemingly bored expression on his face, disinterested in the majority of the Jounin-sensei milling about the improvised lounge.

There was a massive stretch of one-way glass to observe the chuunin hopefuls during the test, and some of the more excitable jounin seemed somehow interested in watching people scratch answers onto paper.

"That's my Lee! Show them the power of your youth! I'm sure my genin will pass this test with their flames burning brightly!"

Kakashi palmed his face.

"Ne, Kakashi. What's with all the doom and gloom? Afraid your genin aren't up to snuff?"

Sarutobi Asuma walked up to him with Yuuhi Kurenai at his side, pulling at a half-finished cigarette.

Appraising the pair for a moment, Kakashi chuckled before turning his glance away. "You two are standing awfully close," Kakashi drawled, absently taking note of a pair of Suna jounin staring at him from across the room. "One might be led to draw some interesting conclusions."

Asuma shifted a few inches away from his companion, dusting himself off and trying to appear nonchalant.

"How did… Nevermind. I'm not going to ask."

Kakashi resumed his observations with a smirk, tugging at his collar. He didn't have time to waste aimlessly chatting when there was so much opportunity for useful reconnaissance.

He should have brought some Icha-Icha to keep people from bothering him. Most people, aside from the self-proclaimed Green Beast of Konoha, felt too awkward to interrupt him when reading, especially once they realized it was porn.

Asuma cleared his throat. "Well, me and some of the other jounin were thinking of placing a bet, for each of our genin teams. Sound good to you?"

The Hokage's son waved over a dozen assorted faces after an affirmative grunt from Kakashi, including a few recognizable ones like Gai.

After everyone had circled around, Asuma took a drag of his cigarette. "Alright everyone, I was thinking about a friendly wager on who's team makes it the furthest in the exams. A bit of friendly Konoha competition."

Asuma continued, "I'm thinking 3000 ryo from everyone into the pool, winner takes all. Whoever has the most genin advance into the final stages of the third exam wins the draw."

Kakashi's attention was drawn away to a solitary figure watching the chuunin hopefuls intently, lacking the exuberance and confidence of the others following suit.

A headband with a musical note on it. Curious.

It almost seemed as if he were staring at-

"Kakashi! Did you listen to any of that?"

The ANBU captain was interrupted by a playful shove from the Hokage's son. "Maa, I'll join your bet I suppose," Kakashi said dismissively, handing over a few choice bank notes from his pocket. The white-haired jounin drifted back to his own thoughts, barely paying attention as the small group of jounin-sensei dispersed.

His gaze wandered to his students, with a small flash of pride as he noted their relaxed postures, a clear indication of their accomplishment.

As his eyes roamed backwards across the other genin, however, he noticed that another eye was fixated intently on his protogés. One made entirely of sand.

* * *

"Congratulations to all those remaining on passing the first task of this year's Konoha Chuunin Exams."

A brunette kunoichi from Suna slammed her palm down on her desk. "What about the tenth question?" She demanded in a confused tone.

Ibiki smirked. "There was no tenth question. Or I suppose, you could call the choice to stay or leave your tenth question if it makes you feel any better."

"That makes no sense!"

Rolling his eyes, Ibiki reach up and tore the bandage from his head with a jerk. Horrific gouging scars were revealed to the eyes of the shocked genin, and the proctor took advantage of their aghast silence to growl, "Do you think the life of a shinobi is easy? No! Life is about choices. The choice to put your village before yourself, even under torture. The choice to complete your mission, even if you're afraid! A chuunin is responsible for the lives of those under his command, and that means he must make those kinds of hard choices. Even if he's hurt, or even if he's scared! Those who are too cowardly to take the risk of failure or death are not fit to be chuunin!"

Ibiki's speech was cut short by a sudden burst of glass from the windows. Glass scattered in hundreds of crystals, cluttering up the floor as a brown and purple blur landed among the shards with a crunch of her zori. Behind her unfurled a banner, marked with enormous letters.

HERE COMES THE SECOND PROCTOR: MITARASHI ANKO!

Naruto could instinctively sense Sasuke's eyebrow raise behind him.

* * *

Stepping into the Forest of Death had been like stepping into the lair of a great beast. Compared to the free air and sunshine just outside the gate, the atmosphere was oppressively thick and filled with the faint promise of violence. It reminded Sasuke of _that_ man's room - the one place in his own home he never set foot.

The Uchiha trailed his fingers one last time over the slight bulge of their Heaven Scroll on his thigh before nodding sharply to his squad mates. "Let's go."

"Che." Naruto snorted, blonde locks dulled beneath the shadow of the canopy. "About time." Rising to his feet, the jinchuuriki cracked his knuckles before looking off to the north with a touch of excitement.

Gamma-Three's plan had been fairly simple. Set off for the tower while Sai had sent a flurry of ink animals wandering through the forest in search of other genin teams. They'd made it three hours in at a lazy pace before one of the emotionally stunted genin's rats had scurried up with a report of an Iwa Genin team a few kilometres to the north.

As one, the trio sprung into the trees.

"There are three." Sai began without preamble, taking the lead as the Ne agent led his squadmates. "Two male and one female. If my intel is correct, the scroll is currently in the possession of the redhaired male. The female apparently has access to Youton techniques, though she mentioned to her squad that she is rather unskilled in its usage."

"I'll take on her then." Sasuke sighed, a sour expression on his face. If the girl had Youton, then any other jutsu she knew would likely be either earth or fire natured. Sasuke's Katon Uchiha techniques would cancel out her fire release jutsu, and any Doton she used would be at a theoretical disadvantage versus his Raiton.

Naruto snickered under his breath. "That works out perfectly. I'll handle the redhead, and Sasuke-chan can fight girl on girl."

"Shut your mouth, dobe!"

"What was that? I couldn't hear you all the sound of your panties riding up."

Cutting off any bickering, Sai whipped out a scroll in one hand and a paintbrush in the other "We're here."

Sasuke grunted, splitting off to the left while the blonde dove to the right. Settling himself silently behind a particularly twisted and leafy bough, the Uchiha activated his Sharingan. Two tomoe spun violently in each eye as he tracked Naruto's progress through the trees.

Poised in the canopy above, brush at the ready, Sai observed his teammates get into position in the brush, silently stalking the genin as they entered a clearing. "Choujuu Giga."

Three.

A pair of massive inked lions roared out of the foliage above the Iwa genin, eliciting a shrill scream from the team's apparent leader.

The trio split immediately, forming a defensive perimeter to defend against the skyward threat.

"Oh shit!" The redhead cursed under his breath, tangling his fingers into hand seals. "Mibuki, Terumi - third formation!"

Two.

Naruto dashed out from the cover of the bushes, rushing forward with deadly grace completely foreign to the boy mere months before. Naruto's arms quickly encircled one of the Iwa genin's neck. Holding the boy tightly in a triangle choke hold until he went limp, the blond nodded swiftly at Sasuke's general location.

One.

Sasuke brought his hands up as he began the silent count. Pale fingers weaved slowly, sign after sign as time counted down. Rat. Tiger. Dog. Ox. Rabbit. Tiger.

Zero.

 _Katon: Housenka no Jutsu._

Bringing his hands up as the chakra in his lungs shifted from neutral to burning, Sasuke smirked. The Uchiha puckered his lips and let go, launching fist sized fireballs screaming down upon the distracted girl.

Sai followed the descent of his lion constructs on a large bird, passively noting a flurry of small fireballs throw the Youton user against a tree with a loud crack.

Dodging a feeble-looking glob of mud, Sai delicately leapt off of the creature and implanted his foot into the remaining boy's ear. Staggering back a step with a glazed expression, the boy reached for a kunai in his belt, but was incapacitated with a quick jab to the throat.

The Youton user picked herself up slowly, tears streaming down her cheeks from the pain. She quivered from a mixture of fear and pain, and shakingly removed a Heaven Scroll from her pouch, proffering it up with a bowed head.

Naruto locked fingers around the nape of his neck, grinning at the ease of their victory, oblivious to Sai's grasp on his sheathed tanto.

The emotionless Ne agent's smooth advance towards the girl was interrupted by a rumbling beneath him, a fist emerging from the earth barely after Sai had retreated backwards in a bounding leap.

In moments, an entirely new team of seemingly late teenagers stood between Gamma-3 and their erstwhile prey, sporting similar Iwagakure hitai-ate. Sasuke analyzed the new group carefully with crimson eyes, closing back towards his squad as one of their new foes assisted their previous opponents from the ground, ensuring their escape.

The one on the left sported a seemingly never-ending brace of kunai and shuriken, evidently a ranged weapons specialist, several projectiles already gathered in the wiry shinobi's pale hand. He chewed on the stem of some local knotweed, eyes fixated on the undercover ANBU team in front of him, brown hair cropped short.

The tall kunoichi on the right nimbly unsheathed a pair of short blades with practiced ease, knotted muscles emphasizing whipcord strength and copious experience with her weapons of choice. Long black hair was tucked securely behind a hitai-ate wrapped around her throat, making it difficult to use against her.

The third shinobi in the center was built like an ox, a shaved head connecting to wide shoulders with barely a semblance of a neck at all. He spat on the ground. "No Konohagakure scum is going to murder my little sister's team."

This new group's bearing was entirely different, belying a higher level of opponent.

Sasuke immediately assumed command of the situation, hands flickering in a series of ANBU sign language to assign orders to his comrades before the two teams' staring match erupted into combat.

 _Sai, you have the one on the left; separate him and then give ranged support._

 _Naruto, your focus is the big one - use diversionary tactics with your clones._

 _I have the kunoichi. I'll assist when she's defeated._

Sai leapt into the air as a hawk-like ink construct formed beneath him, soaring into the sky as the ROOT operative forced the shinobi on the left into the canopy of the forest with a hail of shuriken.

With a rapidly formed tora sign, a dozen copies of Naruto burst into existence and moved to surround the titanic genin in front of him. True to his village's namesake, the burly ninja covered his arms and chest in some sort of earthy armor after a flurry of hand seals, arms raised in a brutal looking combat stance.

Following suit, Sasuke met his own opponent's blades with a freshly unsealed wakizashi of his own, eyes burning red as they tracked her movements with practiced ease, forcing her from coming to her teammates' rescue in a flurry of steel.

* * *

Sai ducked and weaved around the defensively thrown barrage of metal, replying in kind with rapidly drawn pairs of lions to occupy the shuriken specialist, locked in an effective stalemate a few hundred feet from, and out of sight of the rest of ANBU squad Gamma-3. With a graceful dive onto the same tree branch his foe occupied, his creation burst into an explosion of ink, impaled by a fresh volley of shuriken.

Unsheathed tanto in hand, Sai was met by a pair of expertly wielded kunai, blocking his strike with unexpected strength. Without sparing a glance towards the direction of his allies, the Ne agent continued to match blows with the Iwa ninja.

They continue for a few minutes, flash bombs and ink drawn creatures forcing each other back into ranged battle, bombarding each other with massive amounts of flying metallic instruments designed to rip through each other's flesh.

After a few such exchanges, they returned to melée combat, narrowly avoiding each other's carefully aimed strikes.

Feinting with an undercutting swipe of a kunai, the Iwa shinobi bought himself time to create a flurry of handsigns, leaving Sai in a strange purple world, with violent flashes of light disorienting his sight.

A visually-oriented genjutsu.

With a rapid, "Kai!" Sai broke the foreign chakra's hold on his own, in time to avoid a skewering strike to his liver, bounding backwards with a graceful backhandspring.

Swiftly removing a few poisoned senbon from a hidden pocket in his shirt, Sai launched the projectiles at the apparent genjutsu user, forcing him to leap backwards into a compromising position in the air.

Taking advantage of the lull in combat, Sai expertly removed a pre-prepared scroll designed for rapid release and quickly infused it with chakra. A large falcon immediately swooped towards his opponent's head with vicious intent, ripping out the side of his cheek and a few teeth, along with the long stem sticking from his mouth. Before being able to return for a similar strike, it was disintegrated into ink by a well placed shuriken.

Swearing explosively while instinctively bringing a hand to his ruined face, the Iwa shinobi affixed Sai with a murderous gaze. Rushing forwards after slinging a returned volley of senbon to the artist's sides in an attempt to cut off a dodge, he triumphantly impaled the Konohagakure shinobi through the stomach and heart with a twist of kunai. Said triumph lasted an instant, before he was showered with ink, and a weak explosive tag blasted him against the trunk of the tree.

"A clone?!" he spat to himself, half-formed words coming out of his mouth due to his ravaged mouth. Eyes darting around the area, he decided to quickly rejoin his teammates' fight before the unnaturally smiling shinobi could inflict any similar damage on them as well.

* * *

Sasuke pressed his advantage in hand-to-hand combat against the unfortunate kunoichi in front of him, who was completely unable to match his prowess in kenjutsu.

She may have been skilled, but she was no Uzuki Yuugao.

Leaping backwards with flexible grace onto a nearby boulder, the kunoichi made a quick series of handsigns, shouting, "Iwa Bunshin no Jutsu!" Four clones sprang out of the earth besides her, expressions similarly scowling at him while they readied their blades.

Sasuke was quickly surrounded by the rock clones, finding himself in a familiar situation, parrying attacks from all directions at once.

It wasn't dissimilar to fighting Naruto at all.

The Uchiha's eyes shone murderously red as they flickered back and forth dangerously, keeping track of multiple opponents simultaneously, buying time for a counterattack.

His wakizashi accumulated a series of nicks and scrapes that would have left Uzuki Yuugao with a displeased frown stretched across her face, as well as earning Sasuke a lecture on taking proper care of his weapons.

Expending no chakra, Sasuke lashed out with a blur of strikes, countering every blow of stone and metal blades that sought his blood, eyes able to slow down the swings to the point where they were laughably easy to react to.

The dark haired genin reversed his grip instantly and descended into a crouch, striking with a low sweep to the legs of his opponents, forcing them back to avoid losing everything below the kneecap. The Sharingan had never lost track of the original kunoichi amidst her clones.

Rapidly loosing a coil of ninja wire from his belt, Sasuke whipped the tool around the unsuspecting iwa bunshin as well as the real girl, not giving away the presence of the thin chakra-conductive material before it had securely wrapped around all of his foes.

The kunoichi's slight hesitation at the realization cost her dearly.

 _Raiton: Kaminari no Hada!_

Electric current flowed from Sasuke's skin into the wire, arcing across the filament before shattering the earth clones with explosive force, and flinging the kunoichi back against a nearby tree, the smell of ozone permeating the air.

Wasting no time, the Uchiha prodigy rushed forward to the collapsed form of his opponent. Gripping her wrist and bicep with a clawed grip, Sasuke slammed her elbow into his raised knee, shattering her arm into uselessness.

Maintaining the vice grip with an impassive expression, he hurled the kunoichi towards her brawny teammate to create a distraction for Naruto, ignoring her cries of agony.

* * *

Naruto dodged under a heavy fist only to be met with a hard boot to the side, causing him to explode into a cloud of smoke. The four remaining clones, as well as the original, leapt back to relative safety after their first minute or so of combat proved unsuccessful.

The bald teen's strength was monstrous, and engaging him in taijutsu without a significant advantage or diversion was foolish.

Naruto was no longer a fool.

Hands exploding in a flurry of hand signs that would have filled a younger version of himself with awe and wonder, discs of compressed air were launched towards the stone-covered form of his enemy.

After a series of motions, the Iwa nin dropped his hands to the ground, barking out a, "Doton: Doryuuheki!" A large stone wall erupted out of the ground, large gouges torn out immediately by the murderous fuuton jutsu that threatened to slice him in half.

The shinobi bellowed, "You'll have to do better than that, you brat!"

As he released the doton jutsu and the sturdy wall descended back to the earth, a blond blur darted underneath his thick legs, pushing off the ground with a fist cocked back. Slamming into his chin, the Naruto clone was assisted by joint kicks on either side that pushed the shinobi back several meters, leaving a slightly dazed look in their victim's eyes.

Naruto grinned at his success, but sunk back into a combat stance when the doton specialist recovered by impaling his clones with shrapnel from the rocks clustered on his arm. Shaking his head after the force of the surprise impact, the massive genin began a long series of seals.

Without enough time to cross the distance, Naruto prepared to jump out of the way of whatever technique his opponent was preparing, able to sense the large amount of chakra that was being infused in front of him.

This wasn't good.

"Doton: Doryuu Taiga!" the Iwagakure shinobi screamed, preparing to release his pent up energy in a massive landslide of mud to drown the jinchuuriki. Before he could slam his hands to the ground, however, the black haired form of his female teammate smashed into his side, completely throwing off his focus.

"Heh, took you long enough, Sasuke! This guy's a real doozy, I can't seem to break through his armor too well," Naruto scratched his head unabashedly. "How about we hit him with a joint attack?"

Sasuke looked on towards their recovering foes, the muscular team leader helping the bewildered kunoichi to her feet gingerly, looking more or less unfazed himself.

"Hn."

Hands slammed together in practiced unison, each perfectly executing a series of signs.

"Fuuton: Reppuushou!"

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"

The techniques, while fairly powerful for mere C-ranked jutsu, weren't truly capable of much destruction by themselves. Created by those experienced with the techniques, however, even the simplest jutsu could bring devastating force to bear.

Gale winds accelerated the inferno created by the Uchiha, enlarging and empowering the flames, creating a veritable meteor of destructive power that hurled itself at the stunned Iwagakure shinobi.

With rapid reactions, the enemy team leader threw his badly injured teammate far out of way, and proceeded to shelter himself behind massive stony arms to protect himself from the explosion as best as he could.

The forest screamed in a burst of white light.

The force of the explosion blew back in a shockwave of displaced air, knocking Naruto and Sasuke from their feet and sending them tumbling backwards in a tangle of bodies and limbs.

"My ass!" Naruto moaned as the firestorm died away. "I think I've broken something."

"I wish it was your skull!" The Uchiha snapped back. "Why did you overload it with so much damn chakra?"

"Bigger is better!" Naruto sniped back. "Or that's what Kakashi-sensei told me anyway..."

"Taking your advice from an unmotivated pervert. Great idea dobe."

Naruto squawked in indignation at the sight of the Iwa team leader rising from the flames, all thoughts of argument with Sasuke forgotten. His stone armor was completely removed, revealing thick patches of charcoaled skin, bubbling in places from the intense heat, looking like an incinerated corpse.

Sai's original opponent landed clumsily near his comrade, blood and bile streaming down the side of his face from a wound that had nearly removed his nose and eye.

"You bastards!" The shurikenjutsu specialist helped his friend to his feet, who had miraculously survived the combination jutsu's terrifying force. Both settled into something that vaguely resembled a combat stance, but it seemed more likely that they would fall over before managing to throw a punch.

At least Naruto could admire their determination and will, if not their intelligence.

Blood rushed through Naruto's veins, carrying rich oxygen and the rising tide of adrenaline. Taking advantage of his enemies' weakness, he leapt forward with a savage crack to the ranged specialist's extensively damaged jaw, snapping it in half. "Now that was a fight!"

"Bring it blondie! We're not done!" The other boy snarled back through badly burnt lips, wincing as skin sloughed off his crisped body. After a short scream of pain, brown eyes flared hotly as his teammate stood up, unable to keep from weeping after the immense pain he had endured.

Cocking a mocking eyebrow, Naruto pulled his hands back up in a cross seal and promptly flooded the clearing with shadow clones for the second time. Sasukea always snarked about how Naruto spammed copies of himself like a pair of lemmings in heat, but no one in his squad disputed that the ability to be a literal one man army at the drop of a hat could overwhelm most inexperienced shinobi.

These three stood no chance.

"You looked like you could use some help with that kunoichi." Naruto huffed jokingly as he pulled back, stepping around to stand beside Sasuke. "But maybe the whole flailing around and getting your ass kicked thing was just you feeling bad for her."

The Iwagakure shinobi's eyes screamed indignation, refusing to take in the futility of their situation as they attempted to form a combat stance once more.

"You seem to have forgotten someone." Sai reminded the two struggling Iwa nin as he emerged from the forest with the kunoichi in hand, a smile etched across his face that completely failed to reach his eyes.

"I would advise you to surrender immediately, before I kill your comrade." Sai continued smoothly, emotionless eyes staring through the two Iwa genin. Gripped tightly in one of the Ne agent's hands were the girl's tangled black strands of hair. The other hand pressed a dark kunai against the skin of the her throat.

Ignoring Naruto's outraged expression and the thinning of Sasuke's lips, Sai forced the battered Iwa genin to her knees and stared at her squadmates, "Drop to your knees and place your hands on your heads. I will give you five seconds to comply. Failure to comply will result in your comrade's immediate termination."

The ranged specialist exploded in another series of half-formed, unintelligible curses, but the shinobi let his hands fall out of their ram seal and he dropped to his knees gracelessly. The bald ninja followed half a moment later, brown eyes shining with worry and disgust behind a layer of cracked skin and soot.

Grunting in annoyance, Sasuke pinned the tall girl with a spinning Sharingan stare. "Where is your scroll?"

"Hiwaki has it," she bit out, supporting her destroyed elbow with her other hand as she jerkily nodded towards the boy without a functional face.

Cutting in, Hiwaki turned a hard stare up at the menacing Uchiha boy. "It's in my front left pocket. Don't worry, Aina-chan." The wiry teenager softened his tone as he turned his focus back to the girl. "Everything will be fine - we still have plenty of time. We just need to rest and recuperate is all. Everything will be fine." Tears streamed down his face, on one side curving inside of the hole where his cheek used to be, repeating his words as if to convince himself.

Sasuke examined the Iwa shinobi with his Sharingan for a silent moment, pupils constricting with focus as he searched for any signs of a trap or chakra infusion. Satisfied after a long moment, the raven stepped in close and yanked the Iwa team's Earth Scroll from the brown haired nin's pocket.

"That's lucky!" Naruto whistled, whiskers distorting as he grinned. "We'd be all set if we didn't have to -"

"Tie them up, dobe." The Uchiha cut the Uzumaki off, glaring with warning as the blonde almost spilled their entire mission in front of a trio of foreign enemies. "We don't want them getting away anytime soon and coming after us, even in the condition they're in now."

"Fine, fine."

Using half a spool of ninja wire, Naruto tied the boys' heels and wrists together. Naruto made a face at his original opponent as he pulled the last knot, as flakes of destroyed skin came off on his hands. "Guess I better get her too, huh." the blonde grunted, measuring out another pair of lengths to tie up the girl before stowing the remainder of the spool back in one of his pouches.

Sai waited until both Sasuke and Naruto were out of easy reach of the tied up Iwa genin before inclining his head towards both boys with a false smile. "Konohagakure thanks you for your cooperation." Then dropping the kunoichi's hair, the boy raised in ROOT whipped his hand forward.

Kunai thudded into the two male Iwagakure shinobi's temples with unerring accuracy, dark steel shredding brain matter and killing both instantly. The two collapsed like a pair of puppets with their strings suddenly cut.

"What the fuck Sai!?"

Naruto's howl of shock and outrage as he charged towards Sai drew the dark eyes of the emotionally stunted boy. Faint confusion tickled the folds of Sai's mind, but neither it nor the shriek of pure grief and loss were enough to dissuade the pulling motion of Sai's other arm, or the horrific smile etched across his features.

Blood spurted out in a hot stream, coating the charred remains of the forest floor and splattering all over Naruto's chest as the blonde jinchuuriki arrived moments too late to prevent the execution.

* * *

 **(AN - Ajax)** : 5000 words here. I have no words to describe how long it took to make this chapter. It even required a rewrite of everything after the first scene, and then we were distracted by a rewrite of the whole story. There's nothing HUGE that you need to worry about in the rewrite, save for Haku being genderbent back into a boy and the confirmation of pairings, as well as quality.


	12. Twelfth Night

**Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, and we make no profit writing about it.**

 **File Title - REEEEEEEEEE!**

 **(AN - The King in White):** Woo, it's really been a long time here. I've spent a long time pouring out Irregular Metronome, but after reading Jortalus' _Fate Doesn't Make Mistakes_ again, I figured I could set it aside long enough to hammer out a chapter of this :P.

 **(AN - Ajax):** It's nice to get back into the swing of things and write some more. Both me and White have some free time at the moment, so we should be able to get out some consistent updates in the near future. Also, some porn material below - but this fic was never very PG to begin with.

* * *

The thud of fist on flesh rippled through the humid air as Naruto lashed out at his teammate with a punch to the jaw, seething and horrified over the fact that Sai could so easily kill people. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he roared, too twisted up with rage to care if anyone else in the forest heard him

Sai reeled back, his neutral mask firmly in place as the ROOT agent neatly stepped around the Uzumaki's wild swings. "Please stop attempting to attack me, Naruto-kun. It is interfering with our mission."

Blue eyes narrowed, and Naruto bared his teeth in anger and lunged at the dark haired boy, only to have Sasuke grasp the back of his collar and yank.

"Enough." Sasuke barked crisply, black eyes scanning the treeline as he shoved Naruto back. The Uchiha favoured his other squadmate with a dark look, knowing that while Sai had been following their joint directive there were better ways to go about it. It would have been simpler to quietly slit the Iwa genins' throats.

The casual killing still made the back of Sasuke's throat burn with bile, but he was able to school his face into stone.

"Stop making a scene before someone else hears you."

Turning on Sasuke, Naruto glared and spat incredulously "Making a scene? Sai just _murdered_ those guys!" The Uzumaki pointed an accusing finger at the Ne recruit. "What kind of sick fuck just does that out of the blue, for no reason?"

"It was not for no reason." Sai spoke up, voice in monotone. He may as well have been pleasantly discussing the weather. "I was simply following orders."

" _Following orders?"_

"Shut _up_ , Sai." Sasuke grit out as the volume of Naruto's words climbed back up into a shout. He intimately understood the jinchuuriki's disgust, but it was not the time to be doing anything other than carefully carrying out their mission parameters and avoiding sudden decapitation from eavesdropping genin. "You too, dobe."

Naruto's whiskered cheek rippled as he clenched his jaw hard enough for a grinding sound to reach the other two genin. A crimson flush of rage coloured Naruto's face, seeming barely capable of restraining himself from brutalizing his teammate.

Knuckling his temple in consternation, Sasuke inwardly cursed the old cripple and his orders. He may have to obey like a cowed dog in exchange for the kind of training he needed, but he would hardly lick the boot that kicked him in the face. "What do you think eliminating the competition is about? We have to get rid of them permanently. Otherwise they'll just get back up and go hunt down other Konoha genin."

"It is a kill or be killed world, Naruto-kun." Sai added, dark eyes shifting from Sasuke to the jinchuuriki and back again. "Every alien shinobi terminated is one rendered incapable of killing or impeding Konoha assets in the future."

The insight was surprisingly astute for one of Danzo's little machines, but then Sasuke supposed that the war hawk might have actually articulated the reason he supported killing as many foreign shinobi as possible to his troops.

Naruto contemplated the idea of abandoning the mission and simply leaving. How would it feel to just bail out on this terrible, bloody mission that the Sandaime had given them?

In an ideal world Naruto could just quit without getting his hands dirty. Maybe he'd open a ramen stand and spend the rest of his days trying to come up with the perfect noodle recipe. But in the real world Naruto wouldn't make it to the end of the day without the village placing a knife against his throat and nonchalantly replacing him. The Kyuubi mattered to the village, regardless of Naruto's choices.

So in the real world, Naruto's choice were limited to 'deal with it' or 'die horribly in agonizing pain'. Not exactly the most inspiring hand he'd ever been dealt. But throw in the fact that Sasuke was depending on him, and Naruto felt like he had no choice at all. All he could do was stick to the path laid out for him. He couldn't afford to lose the only friend he ever had. Sai was a creepy homicidal robot and wasn't part of their team. Team Seven was Sasuke and Naruto and Sakura and Kakashi, and while Sakura was dead, Naruto refused to let her name be buried and forgotten.

* * *

Kakashi wasn't quite sure how he ended up like this, kneeling naked in the shower with his nose pushing into a thin trail of purple curls.

The slightly uneven lines of grout that crisscrossed his bathroom tile floor ground into the stretched skin of Kakashi's bare knees, but the sensation was muted and distant through the fog of his lust and the boiling heat of his blood.

Flicking out his tongue, Kakashi swiped it leisurely over sodden pink folds, all the while peering up at Yugao's flushed face through half-lidded mismatched eyes. The taste of his lieutenant's cunt was familiar and musky, and he wondered why he would have given it up years ago.

"Kakashi." Yugao growled, brown eyes burning and pupils blown wide in arousal. "You're…. Fuck." she hissed as the silver-haired man gave a particularly pointed lick. "Just the same as you were back then, _senpai_."

Refusing to be teased any longer, the purple-haired woman clutched at the back of her lover's head and forced his teasing mouth even closer, throwing one muscular thigh over Kakashi's shoulder to keep him there. "Stop playing."

Kakashi just chuckled, throwing aside the last dregs of his reluctance and redoubling his efforts. His slow exploration gave way to frantic worship, and Kakashi attacked with lips and tongue so viciously that Yugao's bracing knee nearly buckled. The flavour of musk exploded on his tongue, sending a bolt of arousal straight to his already painfully hard cock.

Throwing her head back against the shower wall, Yugao steadied herself with one hand on the bar and let go. Every touch was electric, sparking heat and pleasure in her pussy and making her crave for more. She wanted Kakashi to touch her more, to feel the tightening of her muscles in bliss as he sucked at her clit, to know the intimate stretch that came when he slid two fingers up to the knuckles inside of her. Those fingers curled, playing her like a fine instrument and making her quake.

Then Kakashi stopped.

Before Yugao could snap out a demand to continue, Kakashi was rising to his feet, sliding between the kunoichi's thighs and trapping his steely erection against the toned flesh of her stomach. "Yugao." he murmured, pressing his mouth to her's and slipping his tongue between her lips.

Tasting herself on Kakashi's lips, Yugao moaned lowly in the back of her throat. Trailing one hand over the muscled planes of the Copycat Ninja's abdomen, Yugao wrapped her fingers around the stiff length of Kakashi's throbbing cock and gave it a slow pump.

Kakashi's hips jerked forward against the soft pressure of Yugao's grip, yearning towards friction and completion. The brief tightening of his lover's hand had Kakashi sucking in a breath, and then she was guiding him down, lining his shaft up to her dripping cleft and let him sink in.

Hissing at the faint sting - Kakashi was larger than she was used to - Yugao sucked at the skin of Kakashi's throat and left behind a purpling bruise. Strong hands hooked under the ANBU agent's thighs, guiding her legs around the older jounin's waist, and then Kakashi _thrusted_

Pinned against the still wet shower walls, Yugao could do little but steady herself with her hands on Kakashi's shoulders and _take it_. Every slam was needy and violent, Kakashi's heavy balls slapping against the pale flesh of her ass.

It had been years since they fucked - Yugao had little to do with Kakashi after the end of his first stint in ANBU - but it was just as good as she remembered. No, it was even better than it had been back then. " _More!_ "

Spurred on by the breathy moan in his ear, Kakashi freed one hand so that he could cup one of his kouhai's breasts in his hand. The stiffened tip of Yugao's cherry dark nipple scraped over Kakashi's palm, making him wish he had a bit more time to properly appreciate her sculpted perfection.

But there was no more time. The two lovers were spiralling up together, racing towards an unseen cliff with every caress and every gasp. Kakashi dropped his hand back to the curve of Yugao's hip, gripping with bruising force as he doubled his speed.

Yugao was sopping wet, the fluids of her arousal practically dripping as Kakashi angled his hips and hit that one spot that made white fire flash behind her eyes again and again. Everything was drawing together. Tighter. Hotter. Deeper. Until a last stroke threw her over the edge and Yugao gave a drawn out mewl of release.

Grunting as he felt the muscles of Yugao's cunt clamp down, Kakashi sucked in a last breath and gave everything he had. The last few thrusts were so pleasurable they were nearly painful, with the kunoichi's pussy milking him so desperately. A final squeeze pulled Kakashi to completion, and slamming into the hilt, the jounin exploded with a dull roar.

"Fuck." He cursed, balls clenching as he emptied his load right into Yugao's hungry womb. Kakashi had the vague worry about unprotected intercourse before dismissing the thought entirely and resting his forehead against his purple-haired lover's. They were both completely wrung out, dripping with water and sweat and sex.

With his mind cleared of the overhanging haze of desire that had clouded his senses from the moment he'd accidentally walked in on Yugao taking a shower, Kakashi could admit that maybe he'd made a mistake. That between Hayate and their squad and the demands of the battlefield that tumbling back into his kouhai's arms might not be the wisest thing to do.

And then Yugao kissed him, open mouthed and full of sweet passion. "Kakashi..." she murmured against his lips, their breath mingling. Calloused fingers trailed over the ropy scar the curved over the left side of Kakashi's face, and his cock twitched.

Well, if he was going to hell there were a lot of worse ways to do so than tangled up in Yugao and the heavenly curves of her body.

* * *

Nara Shikamaru scooped up a handful of discolored mud to inspect more closely, only to recoil with a curse after bringing it near to his face.

Chouji furrowed his brow, "What's wrong?". The Akimichi clan heir stepped out of the heavy underbrush and emerged into the small clearing. His mouth gaped open unconsciously as he took in his surroundings, before emptying the contents of his stomach in a hurl of half-digested mushrooms.

Limbs. Blood. Mangled bone shards haphazardly strewn about a thick layer of reddish sediment, with hardly a recognizable body part surviving in a single piece, except for a head split asymmetrically in half with chunks of brain splattered off to the side.

After joining her teammates side, Ino mimicked Chouji's actions and returned her light lunch of assorted nuts back to the forest where she found them.

"Something isn't right." Shikamaru grimaced tightly. "This is so troublesome."

Ino turned her red-rimmed eyes to the Nara and choked out, "Of course it's _not right_! This is horrible! How could this happen?" She held back a whimper, barely keeping herself from sobbing.

"That's not what I meant." Shikamaru wiped his hands free of the coarse, drenched material stuck to his palms. "This isn't dirt - it's sand. What reason could there be for sand to be spread around in a thick forest like this?" His eyes narrowed in thought. "Someone did this on purpose, and they were excessively violent about it. It doesn't even look like they cared about salvaging a scroll from this team."

His roving eyes caught a glimmer of a metal buckle caught on a tree branch to the right of the clearing. A small knapsack hung undisturbed from a gnarled wooden limb, only marred by the stump of a hand that still clasped onto the bag's leather strap.

Shikamaru motioned his team to follow him quietly, his boots making a soft squelching sound as he attempted to cross over the disgusting terrain in the least gruesome way that he could. After reaching up to grab the bag, Ino and Chouji made retching noises behind the Nara while he pried off the dead hand with some difficulty, and a stream of incomprehensible grumbling.

The Nara clan heir pulled out a Heaven and Earth scroll from the bag, each in pristine condition. Shikamaru murmured, "I thought as much. Whoever killed these genin didn't even take their scrolls. That's… unfortunate."

Throwing the bag back onto the ground, Shikamaru turned away from the grisly scene in front of him and scanned the trees warily.

"We need to get out of here as soon as possible - we don't know if whoever did this is still around," Shikamaru said in a low voice. "There's no sense in lingering here any longer than we have to if we've got a gang of psychopaths roaming around."

Chouji shifted nervously. "Let's just try to get to the center of the forest quickly." He glanced back at the awful sight behind them, and quickly looked away. "We have the scrolls we need, plus extra if someone catches us. I don't want to run into whatever… whoever did _this_."

Ino nodded quickly in agreement, still looking faintly green.

Shikamaru sighed, and handed their newfound scrolls to Chouji for safekeeping in his snack bag, while keeping their extra Earth scroll at hand in the event bribery was needed to keep them alive.

After turning to leave, Team 10 barely spent a minute in travel time along the trees before an explosion knocked them out of the canopy, bursting the branches from beneath their feet

Landing awkwardly in a tangle of vines below, Shikamaru cried out in pain as an audible snap rang out from his right ankle.

Definitely broken.

With a quick glance around, Shikamaru saw Chouji crouching a few metres to his left and struggling to his feet despite a trickle of blood running down his temple. Ino was sprawled out on her back a larger distance to his right, groaning audibly.

What a damned mess.

Hoisting himself up despite the flash of pain in his foot, Shikamaru unsteadily regained his feet. Holding himself up against a nearby oak, the genin sent a series of hand gestures to the barely vertical Ino and Chouji; signalling the need for a defensive formation.

As the three hastened into position, they heard a disdainful snicker coming from one of the ancient trees above them.

A trio of shinobi landed on the forest floor smoothly, each equipped with a headband showcasing a single musical note on their foreheads.

Shikamaru inwardly groaned. He shouldn't have taken nearly as long recovering their newfound scrolls - with the noise they made, it was practically a beacon for other teams to come find prey.

The Nara reached into his side pocket and pulled out an Earth scroll, proffering it up to the Otogakure Shinobi with an outstretched palm.

"Here. We're in no condition to fight anyone, we just want to make it out of here alive."

Ino elbowed Shikamaru, incensed that Shikamaru thought so little of his team's combat abilities. She vented in a loud whisper, "What are you talking about Shika? You're just going to let them walk all over us without a hint of a fight?"

Troublesome woman. There was no sense in provoking conflict against enemies of unknown strength while he was injured, and when there was an option of avoiding it completely.

"Ino, be _quiet_."

The Yamanaka turned beet red in anger but returned to her formation with a huff.

Shikamaru let the lies tumble from his lips smoothly, "All we want is to make it through these exams alive - this is our only scroll. You can have it if you want, we're trying to get out of here as soon as we can."

The apparent leader of the Oto shinobi stepped forward, a strange mechanical device on his arm and face wrapped in bandages. His female teammate hung back with a smirk, while the one with spiky hair could barely control his laughter.

"You see, that's where you've miscalculated, Konoha trash."

Shikamaru frowned as the nearly mummified ninja walked confidently forwards, lowering the scroll and drawing two kunai in his opposite hand.

"You've made the mistake of expecting that we actually care about these stupid scrolls," the Oto nin drawled. "We've already harvested three from the corpses of Konohagakure shinobi. Do you think that your pathetic attempt to bribe us would work?" He let out a snort, then began to rush the Leaf shinobi with a sudden sprint.

Shikamaru cursed and flung his brace of kunai at the figure in front of him, barking out a command. "Fall back! Don't let them get close to you!"

Team 10 nimbly leapt backwards, peppering the rapidly advancing Sound shinobi with various projectiles in an attempt to slow them down.

Dodging under the hail of shuriken, the Oto squad leader came within inches of Shikamaru with his metallic right fist, stopping short when his limbs refused to move further.

Locked in concentration, a bead of sweat ran down Shikamaru's brow as he finished his immobilizing jutsu. Quickly removing a spare knife from an oddly located pocket on the inside of his right calf, he flashed a grin while moving the blade to impale the nearly mummified ninja in the chest, when his vision went dark.

Agony.

Shikamaru found himself writhing on the forest floor with his hands clutched to the side of his head, feeling as though a white-hot piece of iron had buried itself deep between his ears.

"I am Dosu Kinuta, and these are my teammates Tsuchi Kin and Abumi Zaku," the squad leader proclaimed matter-of-factly, with a gesture to his compatriots behind him.

"We were instructed to slaughter any…" Dosu stopped mid-sentence. They obviously couldn't hear what he was saying with their eardrums still in shock from his sonic gauntlet.

He let out an exasperated huff, and motioned to the two behind him. "I suppose I should have started with the introduction. Remind me to let these tree-huggers know who is about to kill them before I start attacking their inner ears next time, would you?" Dosu sighed.

Zaku let out a cruel laugh, while Kin merely rolled her eyes.

"You know, it's not fair that you're the only one that got to play with these talentless lowlifes, Dosu. Let's get them up so I can have a turn!" Zaku swept his hair back, arrogantly walking over to the Akimichi clan heir and slamming him into the side of a tree with a grasp on his collar.

Dosu watched dispassionately with his head cocked to the side, before shrugging and taking a seat on a massive nearby tree root.

With a hardly audible whisper, Chouji begged, "Please… stop…" He gave a feeble attempt to break the grip, prompting a new wave of laughter from the mechanically modified shinobi.

"Are you seeing this, Kin? What a useless, fat piece of shit!" He cackled maniacally as he launched a burst of pressurized air at the Akimichi, launching him into the air. Falling with a heavy thud, Chouji barely had the time to wheeze before being assaulted with a new blast of air.

Shikamaru was helpless to watch the female Sound shinobi grab Ino by her pony tail and throw her back to the ground, following with a series of vicious kicks to the ribs.

"You Konohagakure swine make me sick, with your perfectly painted nails and makeup in the middle of a shinobi deathmatch!" Tsuchi Kin snarled at the Yamanaka. "You're not even good enough to have graduated the academy, you stupid whore!"

A savage axe kick took Kin in her chest, shattering a few ribs and slamming her into a tangle of thorny brush several feet back.

Shikamaru weakly got to his knees to see a blond figure seething in anger over Ino's battered body. Sasuke and a pale Konohagakure shinobi that the Nara hadn't seen before appeared at Naruto's sides, ninja-to in hand.

Dosu swiftly jumped to his feet and rubbed his hands together in anticipation, studying the newcomers with a single leering eye.

The compressed air user jeered, "These are the ones Orochimaru-sama told us about! The idiots came right to us, so we don't even have to look for them!"

"Hush, Zaku." Dosu held up a warning hand. "These three are on a different level than the genin we just subdued - especially the Uchiha. Don't get cocky." Spreading his hands, he continued, "My name is Kinuta Dosu, and this is my teammate Abumi Za-"

The spiky haired Oto genin interrupted his teammate with a sneer. "Uchiha? They're the ones that got slaughtered by one of their own - Uchiha Itachi, wasn't it?"

Sasuke's back stiffened before he was able to school his emotions, choking down an angry retort. Gamma-3 circled the remaining Oto Shinobi to herd them away from Team 10 in standard procedure to avoid collateral damage.

Zaku continued, "What does it feel like to be the only Uchiha that Itachi didn't kill? How worthless and weak do you have to be to not even deserve to die with the rest of your family? How pathetic!"

If Sasuke's face had hardened before, it was iron now, and his Sharingan swirled violently in the dim light of the forest.

Shikamaru stumbled to his feet, moving in an attempt to get his teammates out of harm's way. "Sasuke… Watch out for the bandaged one. His gauntlet… uses some sort of sound attack, and the other shoots compressed air from the tubes in his hands," he slurred.

Sai readied his blade, murmuring, "Naruto, assist Team 10 in full withdrawal from combat. Sasuke and I will handle the last two Otogakure Shinobi."

With a grimace, Naruto nodded his head, swiftly stepping behind his teammates and taking a ready position. A cross seal summoned a handful of Kage Bunshin to guard his back.

After a flurry of hand signals, Sai darted to Dosu's right in a flanking maneuver, while Sasuke launched a flurry of fireballs at Zaku with a look of tightly bridled rage.

Scooping up Ino's deceptively light body with his right arm, Naruto jerked his chin over at Chouji.

Clueing in to the silent command, one of the blond's clones dashed over to Chouji's crumpled form and slung him over his shoulder.

Barking out, "Can you run?" at Shikamaru, the original Naruto darted away from the battle after receiving a shaky nod from the Nara heir, his clones in pursuit..

Successfully turning separating Dosu from Zaku, Sai improvised a pair of earplugs out of chakra infused ink to counter his opponent with Shikamaru's fresh combat analysis.

The Oto squad leader widely missed his punch following a sloppy rush at the ink user, but the grin underneath his bandages turned into an expression of shock when his gauntlet failed to affect his opponent.

With a methodical strike, Sai cleanly removed Dosu's arm at the elbow before incapacitating the ninja with a swift jab to the temple. If these Sound shinobi knew of Orochimaru, there was certainly value in the interrogation unit harvesting some information from this one.

Sai unwove part of the shinobi's bandages and used it to tourniquet his profusely bleeding arm, to prevent him from losing too much blood before intel could be extracted. Turning back towards the sounds of conflict to his left, Sai observed Sasuke dart under a particularly vicious blast of air and locking hands with the loudmouthed Oto nin.

Sasuke threaded a thin burst of flame into the tubes in Zaku's arms with deadly precision. The pressure from the mechanical implants reversed back into the Sound shinobi's arms, causing them to burst from within, leaving mangled stumps where there used to be arms.

Sasuke lifted Orochimaru's experiment by the neck and silenced his shrill shrieks with a vicious snap, leaving his body to crumble to the ground in a heap.

Sai nodded at Sasuke, and swiftly deposited Dosu's unconscious body onto an overhanging tree branch, bound in ninja wire to await pickup by ANBU recovery teams sweeping through the forest.

After cleanly slicing the neck of the third Oto shinobi left unconscious in the brush, Sasuke and Sai rejoined Naruto nearby to assist with stabilizing Team 10.

* * *

Squad leader Turtle-6 looked down at Gamma-3 from her perch in the canopy of the massive Forest of Death, letting out a deep breath. She signalled her teammates Cat-9 and Boar-7 to exit combat-ready formation, and reform into extraction position.

"We're lucky that Gamma-3 arrived when they did," the bulky operative in the boar mask commented, cracking his neck. "We nearly had to jump in to save the clan heirs, and that always gets messy."

Cat-9 gave a grunt of agreement, sheathing his tanto back into its shoulder holster with a clean motion.

After receiving an incoming message from her tattoo, Turtle-6 cleared her throat. "Well, it looks that they left that captive tied up nearby marked for removal to interrogation. We'll pick up the package and deliver it back to the village center, after which we'll be relieved of duty for the remainder of the Second Examination. Move out."

With no pause, the three ANBU agents darted through the boughs with uncanny grace, little more than shadows to the untrained eye before arriving at their destination.

Leaning down to inspect the unconscious Otogakure shinobi at her feet, Turtle-6 removed a piece of the wire so that more bandages could be applied to the bloodsoaked wound site on his right arm. It wouldn't do to have their cargo die before they reached Torture and Interrogation.

Without looking behind her, the squad leader signalled for an additional length of bandage to finish her handiwork.

Turtle-6 held out an open hand, but sensed no movement besides a lazy lick of wind.

With a frown, she turned to scold her subordinates for their sloth, but saw nothing but the expanse of forest, and heard nothing other than branches swaying in the breeze.

A voice whispered behind her, "I suppose it's apt for you to be wearing a turtle mask - after all, you are impossibly slow."

Overcoming paralytic fear, Turtle-6 whipped around with frantic speed and saw a flash of serpentine eyes before her world faded into darkness.

* * *

Propped up against a large slab of rock near the opening of a shallow cave, Shikamaru laid back and carefully contemplated all of the idiotic reasons why he had agreed to compete in these Chuunin Exams. There were too many to count, obviously.

Chouji was in the worst condition out of the trio; Sai carefully wound gauze around the most damaged areas on his back and shoulders. Ugly wounds were opened by Zaku's air cannons, but they were mostly superficial. He would be fine given a day's rest and some proper bandaging.

Ino struggled not to yelp as Naruto helped bandage her side - she clearly had some bruised ribs, but it would heal quickly it wasn't strained.

"How dare that Sound slut call me those names! I'm definitely not useless, and I'm not _that_ obsessed with my looks!" Ino grumbled to herself The Yamanaka sent a dreamy look at Sasuke, but was quickly rebuffed by his emotionless inattention.

With a huff, she turned a glance towards her teammates. "Are you two doing alright?" Ino asked with a far more serious tone.

Chouji gave a nod after wincing from a bandage application. "I'm just glad that we made it out alive - we're lucky that Team Seven came in time to rescue us from those creeps."

Shikamaru sighed. "I can't believe I didn't see that coming. I should have guessed that there was something special about that sound device at first - it's my fault we got into that mess."

Naruto interjected, "Don't beat yourself up, Shikamaru! We got those bastards in the end.."

Sasuke listened in on the conversation without contributing - finishing a light meal of some beef jerky he had stowed away in a small pouch. Tearing off a chunk with his teeth, he noticed a small flicker of shadow high in the trees above them.

Standing up slowly, Sasuke activated his sharingan, tomoe twisting.

Naruto looked at Sasuke's crimson eyes questioningly. "What's wrong? Do you-"

The Uchiha silenced the Konohagakure shinobi around him with a raised hand, scanning the thick forest with roving sweeps of his eyes. The group of genin all stiffened, peering up into the canopy.

Sasuke leapt back in alarm when something small fell onto the top of his head.

Naruto and Sai were up in an instant, hands clasping sheathed weapons before turning their gaze to their teammate. Sasuke knelt down and picked up the offending object, looking it over with careful analysis.

"What is it, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, keeping his posture ready for imminent attack. Team 10 followed suit and leaned forward as a group, looking questioningly at the Uchiha.

"It's a… human big toe. There's red nail polish on-" Sasuke was struck by another object, a finger this time.

Shocked into momentary silence, Sasuke was then hit in the shoulder by an entire foot, spinning him around and nearly unbalancing him.

A lifting voice called out from a tree above them with an off-putting giggle, "Watch out, Sasuke-kun, these ones are thumbs!"

Dodging a wave of six detached thumbs, Sasuke called out, "What the _fuck_? Who are you? What do you want?"

A man in a tan robe materialized out of the trunk of a nearby tree, licking his lips with an overlarge tongue. In one hand was a white porcelain turtle mask, streaked with gore, which the intruder effortlessly crushed into fragments with a flex of his fingers..

He clapped his hands together excitedly and declared, "What I want is to see what you're capable of, Sasuke-kun. I've waited a long time to be able to meet you!" Gold eyes darkened with sadistic intent. "Now… prove to me that you won't be a waste of my time."

* * *

 **(AN - White):** 5000 words for this one. Thank my odd obsession with SasuHana. It's so rare it makes me want to write something just for it to exist.

' _I feel as though our hero's have not been kicked enough while they were down'_ \- Haha. To be fair, I do agree. But keep in mind so far it's just been a build up to the Chuunin Exams. It's once we get over that hump that we really depart from canon and move into ANBU days in search of the blood and the shit.

 **(AN - Ajax):** Orochimaru is such a troll, it's great to write any scene with him. When you're so much more intelligent and powerful than anyone around you (for the most part), why should you really care what you do or say to anyone? Leave a review - stroke our ego!


	13. Thirteenth Night

**Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto and make no profit writing fanfics about it.**

 **File Title - Kurama the Cuck**

 **(AN - White):** I came back to this after reading The Yajuu Sannin. Saw some shit and thought, "fuck I want that".

 **(AN - Ajax):** It's great to get back into the swing of writing. The end of the Chuunin Exams is nigh, and with it comes a segway into the greater world of our fic. Exciting times!

* * *

Hayate was assigned to proctor the Chuunin Exams and would spend the next week within the Forest of Death - leaving the apartment empty, save for Yugao.

She was thankful for that; it allowed her to avoid awkward questions as she slipped home, the apex of her thighs still sticky with seed and shame.

Laying her forehead against the cool wall of her shower, Yugao lathered soap over her body and tried not to think about how massively she'd fucked up while she washed away the evidence of her infidelity. The lovebites were the only thing she couldn't spray off, and would remain for a couple of days as accusing reminders.

As a member of Konoha's ANBU, Yugao should have had more control than _this_. Throwing herself at an old flame was the kind of mistake some stupid civilian chit would make, and it seemed like she had just as little mastery over her own urges as one of _them_.

In a hilariously depressing way, Yugao probably should have expected it. Kakashi had been her first in a lot of things, but most importantly her senpai had been her first love. Back when she'd been a wet behind the ears recruit, Hound-One had practically been a walking legend in ANBU. And rather than let the fame go to his head, the silver-haired jounin had done his best to make her feel comfortable.

It wasn't a surprise that she'd been smitten by him. Yugao had been young and vulnerable and looking for purpose, and Kakashi had been there when she'd needed someone.

What _was_ a surprise was that years after their fling ended and they'd both moved on that it took little more than a few months serving in the same squad to rekindle the flame. What kind of woman just rolled over for her old lover when she had a fiance?

 _A whore._

Yugao felt filthy.

Scrubbing every nook and cranny of her body until her skin was flushed red with irritation, Yugao carelessly threw the worn bar of soap into the corner of the stall and covered her eyes with her hands. No amount of washing would get the dirt out from her soul, and the kunoichi could feel it seething through her like rolling nausea in the gut.

Hayate didn't deserve this kind of betrayal. The jounin had always been gentle and mild-mannered, with a strong sense of duty to his village. If anything, her fiancé was _too_ kind. He was certainly too good for a faithless woman that would just spread her legs because of the pull she felt from a former lover.

Slowly drawing in a breath, Yugao shoved aside the urge to bash her head against the wall in favour of turning off the taps. The motion was a little more violent than necessary, but at least she was containing the urge to give herself a concussion. Her life and her mistakes weren't important at the moment. She had patrol duty to report for and the mission always came first.

Such was the duty of a shinobi.

The purple haired woman slipped from the shower, leaving the towels behind as she crossed her apartment in the nude and began rooting through the closet for her uniform. The compression shorts came first, and then Yugao bound her breasts flat. Nylon pants and her sleeveless shirt were followed by her chest armor. Forearm guards and her porcelain mask completed the set.

Uzuki Yugao needed to be forgotten. It was time for her to be Cat-Two, even if her skin still crawled with the relentless thrumming of her guilt.

* * *

There were three times in Sasuke's life that he knew true, unadulterated _fear_. Not the mere shadow of terror that made his heart pump in his chest with nervous adrenaline, but rather a true, instinctual knowledge that he was surely about to die.

The first time had been when he was young and innocent, stumbling through the night with his brother at his heels. Sasuke had been sure that any any moment Itachi's bloodstained tanto would strike him down, splitting muscle and bone to leave him just as dismembered as the countless dozens of his clansmen before him had been.

The second time had been when Sasuke was a newly instated genin, so sure of his destiny that he walked into the white mist with his head held high and arrogance written in his face. That chill hell had destroyed his illusion of strength through Zabuza's whispers of murder and mayhem, almost convincing him that it would be better to take his own life than to fight on.

The third time was now, surrounded on all sides by gargantuan trees and slick vines as he was stared down by a slitted pair of golden eyes. Sasuke had escaped the phantom of slaughter passing overhead twice, and now it had returned to take its pound of flesh.

Uchiha Sasuke looked into the gaping maw of death, and he was afraid.

His hand twitched in want of a tanto he didn't have on him, and with a clench of the jaw Sasuke leapt backwards, already flying through hand seals. "Naruto! Double up! The rest of you get back!"

Wind howled as Naruto threw his chakra into a Fuuton jutsu, the gale mingling with the fire streaming from Sasuke's lips to create a consuming firestorm.

"Shit, shit." the blond cursed under the roaring conflagration, throwing Shikamaru over his shoulder in spite of the Nara's protests. "Your ankle's broken, so shut the hell up and let's get out of here!"

Naruto enjoyed a good fight, but he wasn't going to let some sick freak that liked to cut people up hang around his injured comrades. They had to get Team Ten out of the way and then maybe give fighting the Kusa nin a shot.

Metal hissed as Sai smoothly pulled his tanto from its sheath, dark eyes clinically watching Ino and Chouji struggle to reach the canopy. The instinct to search for higher ground under threat was powerful, and the _Ne_ recruit could see its benefits in the current situation.

"Naruto-kun." Sai returned his gaze to the dissipating firestorm and tensed, one hand holding his tanto at the ready while the other palmed a brace of shuriken. "Please escort Team Ten to safety and then return. Sasuke-kun and I will hold him here."

The blond had just enough time to bite out an angry agreement when the flames finally died, orange and yellow swirling away into nothingness.

Peeling pale, bloodless lips back from his teeth into a snarl, Sasuke pulled out a pair of kunai and whirled them into a reverse grip, followed by a lunge to the side. Out of the corner of his eye the Uchiha could see Sai mirroring the motion until they'd managed to put the Kusa-nin between them.

The kunoichi in the tan robe merely looked amused, folding her arms over his chest and cocking a slender eyebrow. "Baring your fangs, are we? I suppose it's a step in the right direction, but..." Then the Kusa-nin snapped one arm out, towards Sai, wriggling streaks of verdant flesh barreling through the air faster than the artist could even perceive.

A wheezing choke escaped Sai's throat as he was thrown from his feet, wrapped up so tightly between the squeezing coils of moss green serpents that the dark-haired boy wasn't even able to twitch against his living bindings.

"I have no time for Danzo's playthings."

Sasuke caught sight of scales and malevolent yellow eyes, images feeding into his mind faster than his body was able to respond to. The Uchiha still made the attempt, launching his pair of kunai at the interloper with all the force he could muster while he dove in, aiming a low sweep at his opponent's feet.

With contemptuous ease the Kusa nin slapped the kunai away with an open palm, and then she stepped over the swinging arc of Sasuke's kick, lifting one foot at a time with a condescending smile on her face as if she were playing a game with a small child. "A pat on the back for… effort, I suppose. You have spirit, if nothing else, Sasuke-kun."

The mockery was given so blandly and so disinterestedly that Sasuke couldn't help but feel a burn of rage in his gut, continuing forward with a barrage of punches and kicks that were dodged around with the same lazy grace.

Steel hissed as Sai suddenly appeared over the Kusa nin's shoulder, the genin's pale face splattered with gore and the odd broken scale. The flat point of Sai's tanto angled down, aiming for the junction between neck and shoulder. With Sasuke rocketing his fist towards their enemy's gut, for a heartbeat it seemed like they would finally land a strike.

Stars exploded in Sasuke's head as he was thrown away with a disdainful backhand, while the Kusa nin blindly reached back and caught the blade of Sai's tanto with two fingers. Those long, thin fingers twisted, snapping the tanto off a third of the way up its length. A rotation of the shoulder then seamlessly brought an elbow into the muscle of Sai's abdomen.

A brief choking sound was forced from Sai's lip, accompanied by a thin spray of spittle and bile as the boy folded in half over the point of the Kusa-nin's elbow.

"Is this all you have?" the kunoichi mused in an arrogant tone, golden eyes blinking slowly as she watched the Uchiha struggle to his feet. An overly-large tongue danced around her lips in anticipation. "How disappointing… although perhaps I was expecting too much from the brother of Itachi."

Itachi.

A dull roaring sound filled Sasuke's ears, and the Uchiha only faintly registered the taste of copper on his tongue when he grit his teeth. This _bitch_ dared to look down on him. Dared to compared him to _that man_ and find him lacking. Dared to mock him with that slick little smirk.

Sasuke was not inclined towards exuberance, so there was no scream barrelling out of his throat when the genin launched himself at the enemy he was starting to feel the first trickles of hate towards. His limbs moved in newfound ferocity as his Sharingan spun with fury, bright and brilliant and bloody as a pair of miniature suns.

Humming in consideration, the Kusa-nin moved through a slow series of open-handed blocks. Every strike Sasuke aimed at her was redirected as she laid a flat palm against the sides of the Uchiha's feet and fists, pushing with the bare minimum of force needed to send Sasuke off course and prevent a hit from landing.

Amber flashed in the dimness, and the foreigner's languid defence suddenly shifted into a closed fist tap against Sasuke's solar plexus. Despite the lack of effort in the movement, there was enough force behind it to send the genin flying back, gasping for air. Then with utterly no hesitation, a hand reached up to catch Naruto by the throat as the blond made an attempt at ambush from above.

Shock twisted the blond's face as he clawed at the binding fingers slowly crushing his trachea, desperate fingernails only managing to scrape off thin layers of pink to reveal streaks of pale white flesh beneath.

Naruto's face was just starting to turn a deep, mottled red when Sai and Sasuke rushed in, the two dark haired genin weaving seamlessly together in a practiced dance of fists and blades to free the jinchuuriki.

The effete Kusa-nin gave Naruto's throat a final proprietary squeeze before she dropped the boy, turning to engage the other two members of Gamma-Three.

Coughing at the pain and backed up saliva in his throat, Naruto hacked out a long string of spittle before wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. "Bastard," he rasped, lurching back to his feet with his face twisted in a rictus of fury. The whisker birthmarks on his cheeks deepened as he snarled, and then the blond joined the fray.

The four shinobi spun in a circular dance of combat, the Konoha shinobi executing maneuvers as a team to cover each other's openings and overextensions.

The kunoichi laughed madly as she span, giggling to herself as killing blows were cast aside with languid rotation. "So much for the fabled teamwork of Konohagakure."

The Kusa-nin never moved to kill, and never attacked in a way that might do permanent injury, but that made her no less terrifying. That golden slit gaze was weighing and reptilian, shifting from one child to the next and back again, studying them the way a scientist would study the insides of a dissected frog spread open and pinned down on a metal table.

Against a lesser foe, they would be an overwhelming and deadly combination. But the one their team was matched against was no weakling. The Kusa-nin moved _just_ fast enough to keep up with them and prevent the trio from landing any attacks. She never seemed to tire despite the battle stretching on into the night, and the few retaliatory attacks she made were always perfectly accurate.

A finger to the nerve cluster in the fold of the elbow.

A chop to the trachea that would leave one struggling for air.

An elbow to the lower back above the kidney.

With a hiss of rage and a telling glance towards his teammates, Naruto's fingers moved into his signature cross seal, and the forest floor exploded into a mass of white mist and blonde shinobi.

Bombarded by living missiles, an ugly sneer marred the face of the kunoichi as she dispatched the clones with cruel efficiency. Barbs of interwoven earth and fire exploded from her fingertips like gossamer thread, ripping through dozens of kage bunshin at a time.

"I have no time for paltry misdirection." Her tongue explored the air with relish, speaking in a lilting voice. "I can taste your scent, Sasuke-kun."

A pair of inky jaws ruptured the earth underneath her feet, frothing with malice and snapping with vicious intent, forcing the Kusa-nin to leap above the constructs.

Midair, a flurry of bladed instruments bombarded the kunoichi, occasionally puffing into a clone of Naruto that attempted to deliver a quick strike, but the hail of projectiles and clones were swiftly burnt away in an explosion of shriveling fire.

Naruto and Sasuke hurriedly attempted another combination jutsu, creating a roiling inferno accentuated by a savage gust of wind, the blaze consuming everything in its path with an almost living hunger.

With a discontented sigh, the Kusa-nin halfheartedly prepared a counter to the approaching hellfire, her eyes slipping back into a disinterested glaze.

They had already tried and failed to subdue her with raw power, which clearly failed the first time. Why would they bother exerting themselves to pursue a futile attack? Such a disappointment.

Weaving a complicated series of signs, a torrential burst of water surged in front of the kunoichi, crashing into the blaze with tremendous force.

The forest ruptured into an explosion of plantlife and steam - engulfing the air in a haze of burning whiteness. Narrowly dodging a thick branch that came hurtling at her from the mist, the kunoichi wove together a complicated series of signs and dissipated the mist with a pulse of chakra.

As the remnants of the steam fled into the canopy, she detected a slight gleam flying through the air on either side of her. Standing still, she giggled to herself.

 _How clever._

Barely visible wire crossed in front of her with blinding speed, gouging into her arms and chest. She found herself hurtling backwards into the trunk of an ancient oak, snapping backwards in a violent motion that would have broken the neck of a lesser shinobi.

Serpentine eyes gleamed with delight as they stared into an unavoidable rush of flame.

* * *

Panting with exertion, Gamma-3 opened a canteen of water to share between the three. Too exhausted to speak, the three shared a knowing glance at what they had just experienced.

They were severely outclassed, but they managed to pull ahead in the end.

A burst of laughter escaped Naruto's bruised throat - a sound hysterical with relief and the remnants of fear. "Just… wow. We got our asses kicked. That girl was a beast." The blond swiped a hand over his sweaty brow, breaking out into another round of chortles.

Sasuke stared at his teammate, dark brows raised in disbelief before a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. Naruto had a point. They'd pulled a win right out of their asses and lived to fight another day. He could feel the exhausted burn settling in his limbs. "Speak for yourself, dobe."

The two genin looked at each other for a silent beat before snorting in laughter.

Sai looked a touch confused, but shrugged one shoulder and forced himself to join in on their mirth. He'd read once that laughter was a natural form of stress relief.

A fourth voice joined their chorus, echoing their laughter with a disconcerting giggle. The three Konohagakure shinobi froze as the light laughter evolved into a throaty chuckle, deepening into hysterical glee.

Strapped to the tree, their foe's skin was melted by the heat, tatters of clothes clinging onto blackened skin.

Sasuke shared a wide-eyed glance with his teammates.

 _She should be dead._

Snapping the ninja wire like a tiresome toy, she stepped out into the charred remains of the forest floor and sighed her contentment, striding towards the stunned members of Gamma-Three.

What made it all the more horrifying was the fact that the interloper's skin seemed to have come loose because of the flames, flapping slightly and disconnecting from the flesh underneath until the Kusa-nin looked less like a cruel, beautiful girl and more like some eldritch monster. It put even Sai on edge.

Perhaps they weren't fighting a human at all, but some creature that slithered through the darkness and tore the flesh from someone's bones to wear as a meat suit.

It was also clear that as more and more burnt flesh sloughed off, that their opponent was not a woman, but was very much a _male_.

"As I thought." The Kusa-nin mused to himself, launching forward into a blistering strike. The kick shoved the ROOT agent forward, sending Sai stumbling into a panting Naruto as their opponent landed back on his feet with liquid grace. Sasuke stood alone. "You children truly are special."

Compared to his gruesome mockery and poisonous insults, the compliment sounded profoundly _different_. It was deeper, steadier, and more clinical. Less the voice of a careless sadist and more that of a fascinated scientist.

Both of those voices belonged to a psychopath.

A poisonous smile pulled at the Kusa-nin's mouth, and he studied the three exhausted genin. Despite the constant pulse of killing intent he exerted, they hadn't broken and run screaming into the wilderness. "Considering how softly Konoha likes to raise its children, your development is better than I expected."

The focus of those terrible glowing eyes shifted from Team Seven at large to the Uchiha in particular. "But you are still far below your potential. You could be so. Much. _More._ So I suppose that leaves it to me to give you a small helping hand, hmm?"

Pale fingers shifted into a one-handed seal, and then the Kusa-nin's head launched forward like a targeted missile. Stretching behind it was the increasing length of the gold-eyed man's neck, rippling like an elastic band.

Before any of them could react, fangs latched onto the flesh of Sasuke's shoulder and bit down. The Uchiha gasped, seizing up in shock and pain as his vision faded with the sensation of molten fire penetrating his veins.

* * *

Obito's eye throbbed, and Kakashi briefly shut his eyelids against the spasm. It would hardly have been the first time the old transplant pained him, but to the silver-haired jounin, it seemed like a silent rebuke from beyond the grave. Kakashi had promised to see the future together with his old teammate, so it wouldn't have surprised him at all if Obito witnessed all his choices firsthand.

He wondered what sort of words his childhood friend would hurl at the kind of man willing to sleep with his friend's fiance. Kakashi doubted they would be kind ones. It wouldn't have been the first time Kakashi had been the instrument of someone's affair. Life in ANBU was hard and bloody and he had to take his relief where he could get it. Alcohol and a warm body had a way of silencing the mental screams after a hard mission.

But it was different when his own comfort came at the expense of a man that Kakashi previously wouldn't have hesitated to name a friend.

Hissing through his teeth, Kakashi opened mismatched eyes and scanned the vermillion horizon. It was crawling towards dusk, dyeing the sky in accusing bloody colours to match the guilt of his own thoughts.

"Taicho."

Yugao dropped out of a shunshin right next to him, her voice coolly professional and all expression hidden behind the porcelain and paint of her ANBU mask. Considering his own uniform, they would look like two ordinary shinobi patrolling the village in the service of their Hokage. No one would assume, based on their appearances, that they had an illicit affair three hours ago.

Good.

Kakashi could work with that. If he just focused on the mission and on their roles, he wouldn't have to think about all his mistakes and his treacheries coming home to roost. There was no room for the sour burning at the back of his throat in the mission. All Kakashi had to do was patrol and keep an eye on the Chuunin Exam visitors for suspicious behaviour.

He didn't have to think.

'Kakashi' didn't have to exist for the next few hours.

Snapping out a silent gesture that ordered his subordinate to stay on his heels, Hound-One turned and leapt off the rooftop. They were due to be part of a randomized patrol circuit through the Hyuuga sector. With Kumo representatives in the village and the memory of the last kidnapping attempt still fresh, Konoha was on high alert.

Once the arched roofs of the Hyuuga clan compound come into sight, Hound-One sent a burst of chakra through his communication seal and ignored the burn. _Circle North, double back after half a kilometre and circle South three kilometres._

They wouldn't dare to cross into the compound itself. It would alarm the Branch House guards that are almost constantly watching for anything the slightest bit out of the ordinary. Not to mention the possible upset it could introduce to the already cool relationship between clan head and Hokage if Hyuuga Hiashi thought the Sandaime had ANBU spying on him.

A bright eyed child with Yamanaka colouring waved as the two ANBU agents sailed overhead, greeting the silent guardians with an innocent smile. The sight was enough to make Hound-One smile softly behind his mask. It was to protect that kind of purity that the members of ANBU fought and killed and died for.

As shinobi, they struggled to preserve the future of their village and the bonds they had with kith and kin. Hound-One had no living members of his blood family left, but the man behind the mask had students and friends that he wanted to protect. Subordinates like Naruto and Sasuke. Friends like Genma and Gai.

Comrades like Hayate, the man who Hound-One had betrayed by fucking his wife-to-be.

Kakashi shook his head.

Damn it.

* * *

Steel bands tightened around his chest, squeezing so crushingly that if Sasuke had been able to draw a breath, no air would have reached into his lungs. But he wasn't able to inhale, because he floated down in the depths of some timeless void.

Fluid rushed into his mouth and down his throat through open lips and nostrils, sticky like tar, tasting copper like blood and sweet like venom, and smothering every last bubble of air in his body. When the Uchiha opened his eyes, there was nothing but fevered darkness.

Sometimes, Sasuke had nightmares like this.

Sasuke was seven years old when Shisui died. _Suicide_ , his mother had told him softly with her eyes still red-rimmed from weeping. _Murder_ , Itachi had gloated after massacring the rest of their family.

In the end, the imagery changed little. He would picture Shisui tumbling down end over end, his throat a red ruin and the socket of his eyes bloodied in a last desperate attempt to deny the Uchiha's enemies his Sharingan. And then Shisui would sink beneath the surface of the river, struggling for breath as the cold and pressure crushed the life out of him.

None of the investigations into Shisui's death had managed to recover his cousin's body, so Sasuke was left to imagination. In his mind Sasuke had the idea of Shisui's corpse rolling along the floor of the Naka, bloated and rotting and beaten as it was slowly pushed into the sea. Viscerally, he felt that is how it must have happened.

So from time to time he dreamt of it. Shisui being murdered. Shisui dying alone and blind. Being Shisui himself and struggling for just a hint of relief.

The worst dreams were those in which he is Sasuke, lost beneath the surface of some vast ocean and floating through dim blue stillness as he is unable to suck in a desperate precious gasp of oxygen.

And then Shisui would reach up from the chill depths, shadows parting to reveal fattened fingers and flesh split by the waterlogging. Sasuke's cousin would never try to drag him down, never try to hurt him, but Shisui still _reached_.

After waking in a cold sweat Sasuke would dash barefoot through the night, barreling into his clan's slowly decaying shrine to the Naka to light the memorial flame. His hands would tremble as he placed new wood, flame, and incense in the brazier, still reluctant after so many years to lay hands on the ornate, sacred relics of his clan.

' _From fire the Uchiha come, and to fire they return.'_ Sasuke's father had once told him. They cremated their dead. But Shisui's body had never been found, and there was no flesh to burn. The clan lit the memorial flame to guide the spirits of their lost kin home, but after the dream of cold drowning and Shisui Sasuke couldn't help but feel it wasn't enough.

No flame was bright enough for his brilliant cousin; the young man that Sasuke had loved almost as much as his true brother. And with no flame bright enough and no body to feed the flames, Sasuke wondered if Itachi's greed and callousness had damned Shisui's soul to wander lost for eternity.

Sasuke wondered if Shisui was beneath him now, searching for salvation as his little cousin drowned above.

The heat at the junction of his neck began to build again, and if Sasuke had any energy left in him he would grit his teeth in protest. But there was nothing left in the Uchiha heir except weakness and the sensation of slimy tendrils wriggling into his flesh like maggots. He had no breath in his body, but Sasuke still felt the urge to scream.

If only he had more _power_.

As if a switch was flipped, the blazing heat ceased to sear and instead turned pleasantly warm. It seethed like sweet delirium, intoxicating and seductive. Sasuke could be saved from the drowning and liquid darkness and shivering weakness. All he had to do was drink deep, chase the last dregs of poison with blood, and smile as he died a little more inside each day. Smile and laugh and cry as his mind gently rotted away.

In the end, Sasuke would never really know what choice he would have made.

A hand clamped around Sasuke's wrist, ice cold and unyielding; and _pulled_. The void rushed by with an otherworldly whoosh, the noise hollow and just inhuman enough to set the Uchiha's teeth on edge. One final tug, and then Sasuke was bursting up into clean air.

Coughing out strings of inky mucus, Sasuke rolled onto his hands and knees and heaved. Each spasm brought up another mouthful of clumped ichor to splatter over the smooth stone he could feel under the tips of his fingers.

He still couldn't see. Sasuke escaped clinging shadows and his eyes were still blind. It was harrowing and terrible because he is an _Uchiha_. His eyes are the best part of him and they're failing.

 _He couldn't see_.

When Sasuke was five years old with innocent round cheeks his grandmother had taken him aside to lecture him on the dignity of their clan and the purity of their bloodline. The Sharingan is what makes a true Uchiha, and his eyes are the best part of him. To surrender to blindness is the most crippling infirmity. She'd told him all of this with her own dark gaze cloudy with the film of age.

(' _Don't ever allow your sight to be_ _taken from you.'_ she had warbled. _Don't ever... Don't ever_...)

The hand that laid itself over the junction between Sasuke's neck and shoulder had long elegant fingers and the callouses of a warrior. It made the Uchiha gasp and grope blindly, searching for a presence that wasn't physically there but still managed to _loom_.

Ice chased the venom in his veins, seeping into the fevered spaces between his muscles until Sasuke felt like he'd been turned into a frigid statue, frozen forever under the grip of phantom hands. The frost ( _the ghost_ ) burned over his tender nerves, seeking out the liquid caverns of his eyes and stabbing deep.

The scream that ripped from his throat was harsh and deep and that was _not his voice_. The muscles rippling beneath his skin stretched down limbs that were too big (too small), and he couldn't help but writhe in agony at the contact of mind to alien mind. This was not him, _this was not him_.

He was -

The boy.

The snake.

 _(the god)._

Memories of dark purple fire and cold white lightning surged like a beating heart, and relentlessly thrumming below it all was the old hate and the older love and the oldest blood feud.

Here, at least, was familiar ground.

 _Very well._

 _Another dance then, brother._

 _One last ride upon the winds of time._

* * *

 **(AN - White):** 5000 words. You have no idea how much nagging went into this chapter. Also don't forget to review.

 **(AN - Ajax):** Alluding to some large overarching themes in our story with this piece of the fic. Friendly reminder that this is NOT canon - we've definitively warped this story to suit our ends. *cackles*


End file.
